Waving Back by Mistake, Handling Bad Haircuts, Separating Groceries on Belts, and More

Nick: Hey, everybody, it's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And it's Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we had so many great questions from you all in the wilderness ...

Leah: [howls]

Nick: ... that we have a bonus episode. So here we go. And our first two questions come from Mrs. Garrison's eighth grade honors students.

Leah: And I love this. I believe that Mrs. Garrison's class sent in questions before.

Nick: Yes. Yes, she has. And so she asked her class to come up with different questions. And then as a class, they voted on their favorites, and she sent a bunch to us. And here are two I want to share with all of you. And what I love about all the questions that they submitted is that if I did not tell you that these came from eighth graders, you would have no idea, because they are so universal. There are things that we all face and experience. And so what I really love is that it's so relatable no matter how old you are.

Leah: Oh, these things happen to me all the time. And I always wonder: What do I do?

Nick: Yeah. No, this first question I actually wrote down, "Leah's entire existence could be boiled down to this."

Leah: [laughs] Not wrong. And you're not wrong.

Nick: So the first question is, quote, "I think this situation happens to a lot of people, but nobody talks about it. Let's say you were standing across from someone and they started waving at you. To be nice, you wave back and smile, but it turns out that person wasn't waving at you, they were waving at the person behind you. So do you look back? Do you laugh? Do you just walk away?"

Leah: I'm so glad this was brought up because this happens all the time.

Nick: [laughs] I've had this happen to me. Yeah. No, this happens to everybody. Yeah.

Leah: And the problem is, is that you—happens to you once, and then the next time you don't want to wave, and then that's the time that you actually knew the person and they were waving at you.

Nick: Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. And why is it so embarrassing? Because it's embarrassing. But, like, what is it about it that actually, like—it's like, you didn't do anything wrong. You were just sort of—you just misunderstood the situation. Like, why is it embarrassing?

Leah: I don't know. I think it's the—it shouldn't be embarrassing. You're just being friendly.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, you thought somebody was waving at you, and you're like, "I guess I'll wait back."

Leah: So now I—because of that, I always wave. I've just—I've made a choice. I'm always waving.

Nick: Oh, no matter what.

Leah: Maybe I'm wrong, but I'd rather be wrong, than unfriendly.

Nick: Okay, so that's your strategy. And then when you discover they were waving at the person behind you, then what?

Leah: I—you know, I always lean on humor. And I need to get it out, otherwise it will suffer inside of me, and I'll just go home and feel mortified. So I look at the person, and then the person they wave to, and I laugh and I go, "I'm mortified!" And then I just leave. [laughs]

Nick: Yeah, I think that is the trick. No matter what you do, we need to exit the scene. Yes. Now you look back. So that's your strategy. You look back to see, like, what was happening.

Leah: To see who waved. And I'm like—and I'll go, "Oh, you got—" you know, not even that they're paying attention to me in any way, but I just sort of have to have a whole theatrical thing for myself. "Oh, you were waving. Of course it was you. Ah!" And then I just leave.

Nick: Yeah. I think I like a look back, but you want to be casual about it. It's kind of like when you trip on the sidewalk, you kind of look back to say, like, "Oh, what did I trip on?" So I think it's like, "Oh, what was this wave about that I accidentally participated in?" I think—I think we want a little of that, but yeah, we have to then exit with dignity.

Leah: Yeah, I think that we're exiting with, like, "Oh, my bad." You know what I mean? It's like you're laughing at yourself, but, like ...

Nick: Like, "Oops!"

Leah: No biggie. Oh, happens all the time. Ah!

Nick: Now what if you're the person that initiated the wave, and you realize that the person you were not waving at waved back? What is your role in all of this?

Leah: I feel like my role to be like, I'm happy to wave at you, too. I know—I know these people.

Nick: Okay, so you have to be kind of close enough to have that conversation.

Leah: I mean, I think if you can't have that conversation, that's the look you give. You don't look at them like, "Ugh! Stranger. Who—who do you think you are?" You just be like, "Oh, it happens all the time." You know, that kind of a look.

Nick: Yeah. Like, "Oh, hello to you, too."

Leah: Yes.

Nick: But "Oh, hello, friend behind you."

Leah: [laughs] Yes.

Nick: Okay. Yeah, I guess that's the vibe. Yeah, I think we just have to realize this happens to everybody. It's not a big deal. And yeah, it's a little embarrassing, but oh, well.

Leah: Yeah. And when I said earlier and I said mortifying, I don't mean actually mortifying, like things that are—I mean it in like a ...

Nick: You're not gonna actually die.

Leah: [laughs] Yeah, I'm not actually mortified, but in, like, a, "Oh, there I go again," you know, sort of a flippant way.

Nick: Yeah, I think that's the way to handle it. So our next question is quote, "If you go to the barbershop and the barber gives you a terrible haircut, what do you say? Do you lie and tell them you like it, or express your feelings and tell them that it's not good? And does it make a difference if you know you will never go back and they can't change it?"

Leah: This one is tough!

Nick: This is tricky. Yeah, this is tricky. I actually recently had a haircut which was like, oh, I don't think this was your A game today. Like, it's somebody I've been going to for a long time, and it's sort of like, oh, I don't know if you really nailed it today. And I didn't say anything because I think it's just like a one off, but, like, I clocked it.

Leah: I guess there's like a little bit off, and then there's like a haircut where you're gonna go home and be traumatized. It's not what you asked for.

Nick: Yes. I guess, how off is it? Yes. What has gone wrong here?

Leah: Because I've definitely had those haircuts.

Nick: Where it just went totally off the rails?

Leah: Well, I'll say to people, I remind them, "Oh, this is curly hair, so when you cut a little more off, it gets really short really fast and it tends to teepee." And they always go, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do curly hair."

Nick: Mmm.

Leah: And then I would say 75 percent of those people actually don't do curly hair.

Nick: 75 percent? That's a lot of percent.

Leah: I know that I'm coming in strong on those numbers, but that has been my personal experience. People who swear they do curly hair, you're like, "Whose curly hair have you been doing? Because it doesn't seem to apply the same rules of physics as it does to my hair. Because you're cutting off too much, even though we've talked about this."

Nick: Yeah. Okay. So yeah, I guess for those people, then the question is: Can they fix it? Is there something that they can do?

Leah: They can't fix it because now it's too short. That's the thing.

Nick: Right. So I think if you have a bad haircut and there's nothing to be done about it, then yes, I guess giving feedback. I guess it's feedback, just an FYI, for them for the future, but I think not going back is probably the better strategy.

Leah: Yeah, I'm just not going back. I think it would be perfectly fine if you were like, "This is sort of much shorter than I wanted." I obviously am not saying that. [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] Right. So I think if you're not gonna go back, I think you just say thank you, and then exit if it can't be fixed, if there's something that they can do in the chair at the moment, then obviously speak up. You know, that's totally fair.

Leah: I think then the question is: Do we reflect our absolute sadness with the haircut in our tip?

Nick: Uh, oh. Hmm.

Leah: Mm-hmm.

Nick: Honestly, if it were me, if I'm never going back, I think I would just, like, tip and then just, like, call it a day. I kind of feel like if they did their best and they didn't, like, ignore my instructions, it just wasn't what I wanted or just wasn't—you know, the skill wasn't there, I think I would probably still tip.

Leah: Me too, but I actually kind of feel sad about that.

Nick: That that's what we would do?

Leah: Because I mean, sometimes people really mess up your hair, and you feel like you weren't being listened to. Like, they didn't listen. Like they did what they wanted anyway.

Nick: Yes. Yeah. I mean, I always feel like before we punish people with tips or not tips, I always want to, like, give them the benefit of the doubt or give them an opportunity to correct things before we sort of render a final judgment with our tip amount. So I guess in that instance, would you say something like, "I just don't feel like you heard me, and it resulted in this hair, and so therefore, this is what I'm tipping today."

Leah: I'm saying this knowing that I would full well, no matter what happened, tip.

Nick: Right?

Leah: I would tip what I was going to tip. The question would be: Would I say something like that? "Hey, this isn't really what I was looking for. Thanks for giving it a go."

Nick: [laughs] Yeah. Good effort. A for effort.

Leah: I've obviously never said this in my whole life, and I can't imagine me saying it. I'm just wondering—I'm just gonna tip and leave and not come back. That's really what I'm doing.

Nick: Yeah, I kind of would probably do that. Although, are you doing a disservice to the next person who may be subject to the same bad haircut? And is not providing feedback actually important for their professional growth? I guess that's a question. Is your feedback constructive?

Leah: I don't know.

Nick: Right? I guess if it is constructive and you can say it in a sort of professional, non-judgmental, sort of like calm way, which is like FYI, then I guess? Because as a professional, I would want to know if I'm constantly messing up. And if nobody tells me, then I guess how would I know? So I do need some feedback.

Leah: Yeah. "Little—little shorter than I want." I definitely—I went to a person for a while who, like you're saying, one time they clearly weren't on their A game. They weren't focused. It was a little off.

Nick: Right.

Leah: I just shook it off. I mean, it was just—but then I've been to a person. I went, "I'm never going back again because it was a disaster."

Nick: Yeah. I don't know if we give second chances to disasters.

Leah: I'm definitely not going back on a disaster. But I did just fully tip and not say anything just because it can't be helped, you know what I mean? And I just want to go home.

Nick: Yeah. Sometimes just exiting the scene, that's just, like, the path of least resistance.

Leah: And I mean, I guess it would be different if you felt like it was—they were like, "You don't know what you're talking about. I'm just gonna do your hair the way I want." Then we're in a whole other ...

Nick: Well, if it's that, then okay, I feel like some tip conversation is then warranted.

Leah: They came out with, like, Edward Scissorhands—bap bap bap bap bap—and it was over before you had enough time to be like, "No!" Then that's a conversation.

Nick: Right. Oh, yeah. Totally. Totally.

Leah: I just want to put all the options on the board, Nick. You know me.

Nick: Yeah. No, it's good. So I think that's the answer. That's the answer. If there's something to be done, then say something. If there's nothing to be done, then it's up to you to decide whether or not you want to say something. And then it's certainly up to you to decide if you ever want to return.

Leah: Just don't return. Find a new place.

Nick: Yeah. Life is too short to have bad hair.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So thanks again, Mrs. Garrison, and your eighth grade class. I hope these have been helpful.

Leah: Thank you so much for writing in. We're so delighted!

Nick: Yes, indeed. So our next question from the wider wilderness is quote, "In a grocery store, who should put up the separation barrier—the person who just added the groceries to the belt or the shopper who will be adding items after?"

Leah: It's so funny because I've never thought about it.

Nick: I had never thought about this until we got this question, but I guess this is a concern. It'd be amazing if we had different answers.

Leah: Well, what's funny with this is that I really have no feelings on it.

Nick: [laughs] Okay.

Leah: Like, if they put it up, cool. If not, I'm gonna put it up. I always put it up. And when I say "I put it up," I'm saying "I" is the second person. "Me" is the second person.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: So somebody's already up with all their stuff. I come in, I pop the thing down.

Nick: Yes. I'm inclined to put the divider before my items. Yes. Because I think there is actually something a little provocative if I put all my things on the belt, and then I slam the divider at the end.

Leah: [laughs] Yes. That does feel slightly ...

Nick: It sends the signal a little bit, which is like, "Oh, no, no. I don't want your things getting mixed with my things." There's a little of that flavor, right?

Leah: There is a little bit of that flavor.

Nick: [laughs] Which is like, "Oh, I don't want to contaminate my things with your things."

Leah: "I do not like your almond milk."

Nick: Whereas it does not have that flavor if, like, I'm next up and I'm like, "Okay, here's the start of a new cart."

Leah: Yeah. Because then it feels like I'm just respecting your stuff.

Nick: Right? Yes. I want to make sure that I don't get in your way. Right.

Leah: It's true.

Nick: Yeah, why do I have that feeling? It's so irrational.

Leah: No, it is true, though, because when I said I have no feelings about it, I think it's just because if I came up and there was a thing there, I'd be like, "Whatever."

Nick: Right.

Leah: But then if you—when you break it down, you're like, it is a different feeling.

Nick: Right. And I also—when the checker does it, sometimes that actually feels worse. There's a little shame there, which is like, "Oh, you're supposed to do this, customer, and you're making me do the divider for you."

Leah: [laughs] I don't know if I've ever been in that situation.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: But I mean, in truth, the person putting up the thing is probably just helping the next person so they don't have to do it.

Nick: Right. I mean, it would make more sense for me to do it at the end of my cart to make it clear, like, "Oh, I am done."

Leah: "I'm done."

Nick: "This is the end of—end of things." Right.

Leah: "Now you begin."

Nick: Right. But no, there is something about putting it down. Yeah. Although it's really neutral. I mean, it really doesn't matter. I guess it should be done, though. Do we agree it should be done? It should be done.

Leah: It should be done. It's much clearer for the person checking people out because they're just—they're just rolling the—you know what I mean? They're going. They're in the moment. They gotta have something to be like, oh, stop the—put up the dam. You know what I mean?

Nick: Right. Okay, so I feel like we landed on anybody can do it, but if we had to lean on one person, it would be the second shopper, right?

Leah: Yes. Second shopper.

Nick: Second shopper. Okay. Okay, I feel okay about this. I feel like we're gonna get letters.

Leah: I feel like there's gonna be some people who have some passionate ideas, which I'm actually excited to hear about if you feel a different way.

Nick: Well, the fact that we got this question at all means somebody out there is thinking about this.

Leah: Yeah, somebody's thinking about it. I also sort of enjoy when I come up behind somebody, and I lean across and I grab the divider and I put it down, because it's like, "Here we go. I'm coming up next."

Nick: Oh, okay. So it kind of—you get some joy out of that.

Leah: I get a little excitement, to be honest.

Nick: Hmm. You're like, "Oh, next! Next in the queue!"

Leah: I'm next in line! I'm there! You know what I mean? Because you've been waiting, and then you're next. "Here I am!" There's something exciting.

Nick: There's also a lot of different ways you can place that divider. There's the gentle placement, there's the slamming it down. I mean, there's a lot of tone available, depending on what kind of day you're having and how you feel about everybody. Like, if I was in the 10 items or fewer lane and the person ahead of me clearly has more than 10 items, I could see a world, which I'm not proud of, in which I might place that divider down in a way that signals my displeasure.

Leah: Mmm!

Nick: Right? I think I see a world in which it might not go down so gentle.

Leah: [laughs] I can see you putting it down rough and then sort of doing a [whispers] "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve!"

Nick: [laughs] Counting, like, "One plus two plus two plus one." Like that scene in Clue. Yeah. Okay, so I think there is a world in which I might get a little passive aggressive with that, which I'm not proud of, but I have it in me.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: In which case, to head that off, if you're the person who's breaking the rules, then you should make sure that divider goes down first.

Leah: Oh, like if you have 12 in a 10?

Nick: Mm-hmm.

Leah: But also know that your eternal soul is on the line.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And maybe take that over to the not-less-than-10-items.

Nick: Right? And I just flashed—is there a signal that's set if I actually put two dividers? Like, you put a divider down and then I add another divider?

Leah: If I see somebody do that ...

Nick: That would be interesting.

Leah: Say I'm the third person in line and I see that happen, I'm going to think those two people have history. It went bad.

Nick: Oh, well, of course.

Leah: And the person who put the second divider up is like, extra, like, no.

Nick: Yeah. That's not good history. No, good history comes from two dividers back to back.

Leah: I want to know the backstory on that, you know?

Nick: Yeah, I would ask. I was like, "Oh, two dividers? Tell me more!"

Leah: "What happened?"

Nick: Right. "How are things?"

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: Okay, so I feel like we really covered a lot of ground with this.

Leah: I think we went in.

Nick: We went in. So our next question is quote, "Is this bonkers, or are there different rules for family? A cousin of mine and her husband, both in their 60s, who live in a different state as my uncle—he's close to 90—called my uncle and let him know that they would be visiting his home that he shares with his daughter for a visit in two hours. They had another houseguest and a friend who rents the casita that is part of their home. When the cousin and her husband arrived, my uncle asked how long they would be able to stay, and they said, 'Oh, maybe till next week.' He let them know that he was actually leaving town a few days later at 10:00 am and that would be the extent of the time they could stay. They protested and indicated that they didn't think they could be ready to leave that early, suggesting that the other guest or renter could lock up behind them. Is this bonkers to call someone two hours before your arrival and expect them to host you for as long as you decide to stay? Does it matter that they are family? Does it matter that they hadn't visited in 15 years? And does it matter that my aunt recently passed away? My uncle's daughter, who's also my cousin, was livid and quite upset for them to be so rude. But my uncle said, 'They're family.' Thoughts?"

Leah: Straight off the top, it's bonkers. It is a huge bonkers.

Nick: [laughs] So many things are bonkers there.

Leah: It gets more bonkers in the list of all the things.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I'm very sorry about your aunt.

Nick: Very sorry about the loss here. Yes.

Leah: And that definitely makes it even worse.

Nick: Yes, that does not make things better. No. At all.

Leah: And the idea that they haven't been there in 15 years?

Nick: Noteworthy detail. But no, let's just start with the two-hour notice.

Leah: Let's just start with the two-hour notice. Let's start at the beginning.

Nick: So I mean, that is not enough notice for a houseguest. It just isn't. And it doesn't matter who you are. I mean, Leah, if you called me and be like, "I'm gonna be in New York in two hours. I need a place to crash." Okay. Of course I'm gonna say yes because you better have a really good story.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: But just relatives I haven't seen in 15 years call two hours and be like, "I need to stay at your place for an unlimited amount of time of my choosing."

Leah: For like at least a week. What?

Nick: What? Yeah. I mean—and these people, they can't think this is fine. I mean, what is going on in their head where they're like, "Oh, you know what is fine? This." They can't think it's reasonable.

Leah: And then they double down by being like, "Oh, we can't leave that early."

Nick: "That doesn't work for us."

Leah: I don't know what the word is after "Bonkers." What's the word after? Do we just start adding exclamation points?

Nick: [laughs] Right? Yeah, just bigger typeface.

Leah: And I don't think because someone's family, it means they get to operate outside the rules of niceness.

Nick: Right. Yes, being family doesn't give you a pass to being rude. And this is rude, no matter who it is. Now certainly different relationships are different, which is why, like, if you called me with two-hours' notice and need to sleep on my couch, of course. Yes, our relationship is such that that is fine. There's a lot of other people in my life where the answer would be, "I am so sorry. Here's a list of nearby hotels." So yes, the closeness of your relationship does matter, but that doesn't give other people a license to also take advantage of that.

Leah: Yeah. Like, I can for sure—I have a huge list of people in my life that I'd be like, "Yeah, of course." Also, those people would never be like, "But I need to stay a week."

Nick: [laughs] Right.

Leah: It would be like an emergency. Like, something came up and they were like, "Hey, can I crash there?" And you're like, "No problem."

Nick: Right. Yeah, exactly.

Leah: Which is different.

Nick: Yes. So right there, that's a problem. And family does not give you a license to be rude. Now I will say there is a phenomenon where I think some people do feel like they can let their etiquette guards down around family and close friends, and they do things that are actually rude that they would never do to other people in their lives, people that are not as close. And so there is this weird thing where some people do actually act rude to the people they're closest to. And that's not great, but this does happen.

Leah: This is just like a whole other level. Like, we obviously have different relationships with close family than we—but this is a not close family. They haven't seen these people in 15 years. They're not in any way being empathetic that this person's wife just died?

Nick: No. No, I'm not getting that at all.

Leah: The mother? The cousin's mother? There's nothing about—there's—so I mean, is this family or is this someone who's like, "Hey, we have relatives in common."

Nick: Yeah, "I know about a free Airbnb in this town."

Leah: Yeah. "So I'm gonna stay here for clearly a vacation that was planned in advance, and I just didn't tell you about it."

Nick: Right. Yeah. Just spring it on me at the last minute. I don't know why I have to accommodate that.

Leah: Two hours?

Nick: Also, if they live in a different state. Do they live in a different state? Yes.

Leah: They must have been already on the road.

Nick: They live in a different state.

Leah: They pulled over at, like, a Wendy's and made a phone call.

Nick: They're at the Buc-ee's, and they called from the Buc-ee's.

Leah: And if you call from a Buc-ee's, you better be bringing me a present from Buc-ee's. Let me tell you that, if you want to stay in my house

Nick: Yeah. No, they're at Anderson's Pea Soup right now. Yeah. They ...

Leah: Don't bring me pea soup. Do not bring me pea soup.

Nick: Have you ever been to Anderson's?

Leah: No. I see the sign all the time. I dislike peas with an intensity. I don't know if there's anything physical, like, you know, there are ideas in the world that I dislike more than peas, but something physical, I don't know if there's anything I dislike as much as peas.

Nick: Really! h, we're gonna have to explore this further. Audience, if you're not familiar, Anderson's Pea Soup is a place, and they sell pea soup, among other things. And it's on I5 between Los Angeles and, you know, Northern California, Oregon, Seattle. So it's on Interstate 5. There's a place called Anderson Pea Soup. And there are signs for hundreds of miles, which is like, you know, "400 miles, Anderson's Pea Soup." And so by the time you get to Anderson's Pea Soup, you're like, "Well, I guess we gotta get the pea soup." So it's very clever. But I guess you have never been tempted because it's pea soup.

Leah: If I was to be tempted, it would be by their signs. But the dislike is so visceral for me, it cannot be overcome.

Nick: Okay. I mean, that's fair. So what were we talking about?

Leah: We were talking about people pulling over and making a call.

Nick: Oh, right! [laughs]

Leah: Actually, you know what?

Nick: I lost the thread there.

Leah: You know what I dislike almost as much as pea soup, Nick?

Nick: People giving you two-hours' notice?

Leah: People giving you two-hours' notice, telling you how long they're gonna stay and having no empathy for all the things you're going through in your life.

Nick: Yeah. Rude! So I love that the uncle is being very nice about it.

Leah: He's so nice.

Nick: And I do like this feeling of, like, "They're family, let's cut them some slack." And it's his house, and if he wants to do that, then I guess okay. I mean, I guess we can't tell him no, and he can do with his guest room as he wishes. And my hope is that he did set a boundary, which is like, "I'm leaving town in a couple days, and so I would like you to be gone when I'm gone." So hopefully he can just toe the line there. Because it is not unreasonable to want houseguests out of your house and not overstay if you're not home.

Leah: I mean, we're so far past reasonable.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: It's definitely reasonable to be like, "You can't be here when I'm not here, especially when I didn't plan in advance because you never asked me."

Nick: Yeah, all of those things. Now one interesting thing here is that I guess the uncle's daughter also lives in the house, right?

Leah: Yes.

Nick: So I feel like she, I think, has some input here. Like, does she want these people just showing up in two hours and then staying forever?

Leah: No. Our letter-writer said that she's very angry.

Nick: Yeah. So yeah, I kind of—I kind of understand that.

Leah: Also, it's her mother that passed away.

Nick: Yes. Yes.

Leah: And then you just have somebody showing up at your house? I mean, what?

Nick: Yeah. Like, I'm not in the mood for that.

Leah: Somebody you haven't seen in 15 years?

Nick: Well, they haven't visited in 15 years, at least. So hard to know how often we run into these people.

Leah: Well, hopefully, we would love to not.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, maybe we see them at the family picnic, but yeah. No, they're—they're not making an effort to stay in touch, let's put it that way.

Leah: Two hours!

Nick: And they're just using you. Yeah. And so I guess it's up to you to decide if you want to be used.

Leah: I cannot imagine what's going through these people's heads.

Nick: Um, these people are the, "Well, it can't hurt to ask" people. They are those people.

Leah: I feel like they didn't even really ask, though.

Nick: True. Yes, I think they just called and announced that they're showing up. Right. Yeah, there was no request here.

Leah: And then they doubled down to be like, "Oh, no, I'm gonna stay past when you said it was okay, even though I'm already way out of line."

Nick: Yeah. So set some boundaries. Stick to them. You are not being rude here.

Leah: I'm just gonna go with the bonkers with three exclamation points, and it's the red ones that you can do in your emojis.

Nick: Oh, I think you actually need the double exclamation mark emoji. So we're gonna actually get six.

Leah: Six. We're gonna get six.

Nick: Yeah, that's what that is. All right, that's our new scale of bonkersness. So speaking of features, we have on our website, SaidtoMyFace.com. So let us know what is the rudest thing anybody has ever said to your face. And these are so wonderful. And we got a great one, which is quote, "At my bridal shower, everyone was asked to share something they appreciate about me. My mother-in-law said, 'I don't really know her.' She could have said, 'I love that, my son loves her,' or, 'She seems nice.' But no, she couldn't think of a single positive thing to say about me. Thankfully, everyone else was a little extra, and said more nice things about me than I deserved. But really?"

Leah: So rude!

Nick: "I don't really know her."

Leah: "I don't really know her."

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: "Who is this stranger? Who is this stranger whose party I'm attending?"

Nick: "I don't really know her." Oh, that's so rude! I mean, that's unbelievably rude.

Leah: That feels sort of like Victorian. You know what I mean? I see, like, there's like a hanky and, like, a—like, a hat and, like, a long sleeve with a little thing at the end of it. What is this?

Nick: A cuff?

Leah: A cuff. But like a—I visualize—I'm visualizing, like, a cuff with a ruffle with a hand that comes out.

Nick: A Lay's cuff.

Leah: Yes. And it comes out with, "I don't really know her." And then back to her teacup. [laughs]

Nick: Yes. Oh, it's definitely a cutting line from a British period drama.

Leah: Cutting!

Nick: But oh, gosh! I mean, it's so dismissive.

Leah: Yes, dismissive. Which is so rude.

Nick: And why it's rude is that there's no way to say this and not know what you're doing. This mother-in-law absolutely knows the intent behind these words. She's just like, "Oh, I'm gonna be hostile and I'm gonna let you know it."

Leah: [laughs] Brutal! Brutal!

Nick: "Oh, yeah. What do you think about Leah Bonnema?" "I don't really know her."

Leah: "But I'm at her house, I'm at her party. My son is marrying ..."

Nick: "She is marrying my son."

Leah: "I don't know her."

Nick: "I don't—I don't really know her, so don't have an opinion yet."

Leah: In that situation, I would have to be standing there while you asked, "What do you think of Leah Bonnema?" And you're looking in my face when you say, "I don't really know her."

Nick: Oh, we're in a circle, opening gifts, going around. Oh, you are looking into my eyes as you say it.

Leah: You're looking into my eyes as you say it. "I don't really know her."

Nick: Yeah. Oh! That really cuts deep.

Leah: I would think, "Well, you're about to know me."

Nick: Oh!

Leah: "Let me tell you that." [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] "Oh, but you're gonna. Oh, but you're gonna!"

Leah: Whoo!

Nick: "Just you wait."

Leah: It's like a Jane Austen movie.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Meets John Wick.

Nick: Oh, totally. Yeah. I mean, I would watch that.

Leah: [laughs] I would watch that.

Nick: I would watch that. But yes, letter-writer, if you need any guidance for etiquette-approved revenge, I'm up for the challenge.

Leah: [laughs] Also, I don't know if Nick—I think Nick would be willing to step outside of etiquette approved.

Nick: I would certainly do it in a way that has plausible deniability. You know, I would make sure I wear etiquette gloves so there's none of my etiquette fingerprints on it.

Leah: [laughs] He'll give you two columns, one that's approved ...

Nick: Mm-hmm. And then the fun one.

Leah: The fun one. [laughs]

Nick: So it is definitely the rudest thing ever said.

Leah: Cutting.

Nick: Yeah, that definitely counts. Definitely counts. So you out there, please share those with us. And you can also send us your questions, your bonkers, your vents or repents. We'll take it all. So send it to us through our website, WereYouRaisedByWolves.com. Or you can leave us a voicemail or send us a text message: (267) CALL-RBW. And we'll see you next time!

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!