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Verifying Wedding RSVPs, Hogging Restaurant Gift Certificates, Using Hosts' Expensive Bath Products, and More
Verifying Wedding RSVPs, Hogging Restaurant Gift Certificat…
Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about verifying wedding RSVPs, hogging restaurant …
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Oct. 24, 2022

Verifying Wedding RSVPs, Hogging Restaurant Gift Certificates, Using Hosts' Expensive Bath Products, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about verifying wedding RSVPs, hogging restaurant gift certificates, using hosts' expensive bath products, and much more.

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about verifying wedding RSVPs, hogging restaurant gift certificates, using hosts' expensive bath products, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)

Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ask.wyrbw.com

 

QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS:

  • What should I do if I'm not sure if I actually RSVP'd to a wedding?
  • Am I responsible if someone else paid too much for postage to mail something back to me?
  • Should the tip be included when determining the cost of office donuts?
  • Is it rude to use a restaurant gift certificate for only your portion of the meal?
  • What should I do about houseguests who use my expensive bath products?

 

THINGS MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW

 

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CREDITS

Hosts: Nick Leighton & Leah Bonnema

Producer & Editor: Nick Leighton

Theme Music: Rob Paravonian

 

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TRANSCRIPT

Episode 159

 

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Transcript

Nick: Hey, everybody. It's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And it's Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we had so many great questions from you all in the wilderness ...

Leah: [howls]

Nick: ... that we have a bonus episode. So here we go. Our first question is quote, "I am horrified to send you this message. I'm attending a high school friend's wedding tomorrow. I received her invitation in the mail months ago, and promptly submitted my RSVP on her wedding website and put the details in my calendar. I then texted her to say how excited I was to attend, but we don't speak regularly and we haven't talked since then. Today, I searched into my email for the confirmation just to be sure about all the details. To my horror, I had no confirmation email. I checked the wedding website which had all my information saved, including a nice note I wrote in the RSVP comments, but it's a little unclear. It appears that I filled out all the information, but I did not click submit. I am horrified! I texted my friend with a quick explanation and apology, but it's the day before her wedding. I'm hoping I'll still be able to attend, but if I did not actually RSVP, how do I possibly rectify this horrible mistake?"

Leah: A) It's such a solid intro with, "I am horrified to send you this message."

Nick: Yeah, what a nightmare!

Leah: Yeah. I'm immediately on our letter-writer's page. I get it. I get it. I do think the saving grace is that you texted her to say how excited you were to attend.

Nick: Yeah, but that was months ago. And honestly, if I have an RSVP system that's happening, I'm not paying attention to any other communication that's coming. I'm trusting my RSVP system to kind of keep track of it all. So I'm not gonna put those things together, I don't think.

Leah: I think I would.

Nick: Well here's the thing, though. We don't know if we RSVPed or not. Like, we just don't know whether or not we did.

Leah: Yeah, we don't know.

Nick: And we don't know if they're expecting us. And I was thinking, like, should there be a Resy system? Like when you make a restaurant reservation where they're like, "You're expected at Lisa and Chad's wedding in 30 minutes." Like, should you get that text message reminder? Because, like, there's not actually a reminder system for weddings. Like, that doesn't exist. There's nobody, like, calling you like a dentist confirming your appointment. It's just sort of assumed that they received your RSVP usually.

Leah: I mean, this is true.

Nick: Right? And then it made me wonder, like, back before the internet when we were just mailing cards or having our footmen deliver them, I think things got lost all the time, right?

Leah: [laughs] Having our footmen deliver them.

Nick: But I mean, it makes you wonder, like, there was probably all these weddings and dinner parties and events where you just showed up because you assumed your RSVP card made it and it didn't and they weren't expecting you. And, like, how awkward was that, right? Do you think this was, like, happening all the time in the Gilded Age?

Leah: I feel like footmen's entire careers depended on whether or not they got that card in.

Nick: Fair enough. That's true. Yes. So that didn't happen if you sent your footman. But, like, what about Pony Express? Things happen.

Leah: Now Pony Express, I mean, I think, like, entire trains got raided by cowboys.

Nick: Oh, yeah. No, I've seen movies.

Leah: I've seen movies!

Nick: Right?

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So point being, maybe there's a long tradition is what I'm saying of RSVP issues. Right?

Leah: RSVPs just not quite making it. I like the way you're putting it in a historical context of RSVPs getting lost.

Nick: That said, yeah, I mean, the best you could do is reach out and say, "I think this thing happened. Am I on your list?" I think that's a fair thing to ask your host. And I think you have to be prepared for no as an answer, that like, "Oh, we don't have you on the list and unfortunately we don't have room." I think you have to be okay with that.

Leah: Yeah, I absolutely agree. I think it's fine to text "I think I sent in the RSVP. I can't tell from the website. Did you get it?" Exactly what Nick just said.

Nick: Right. And then if they do have room because, like, people drop out all the time, and let's say they're able to accommodate you or they just want to be gracious or they have room? Great. This is not your occasion to then be demanding and be like, "Oh, and I need the vegetarian Jain meal, please." And so you just get what you get. Like, we're not making any special requests at that point.

Leah: Yeah, absolutely. Before, did I say I—I wouldn't say "I think I sent." Is that what I said? So I'm just gonna go back and say that. "I'm unclear" is what I believe you said, and I agree with that. "I'm unclear if my RSVP went through."

Nick: Yeah, I would phrase it that way. Like, "I'm not sure if it went through based on what I see on the website. And so let me know if I'm on the list or not." And I guess you want to say that in a way that makes it sound like you would be okay if no is the answer back, and that you would be okay with the knowledge that now you cannot attend. I don't think we want to ask the question in such a way that now guilts your host into accommodating you, even if you're not on the list.

Leah: Yeah, I think that's perfect. And I mean, I would obviously start the text something with, like, "Panicked and mortified!"

Nick: Oh, sure.

Leah: "Looking back, not sure that my RSVP went through. I can't tell on the site." Then what Nick said.

Nick: My hope is that they'll be able to accommodate you, and that this will all be fine.

Leah: Keep us posted!

Nick: Yeah. Please let us know how this one worked out. And I think it's a valuable lesson, though: when you RSVP electronically, I think you want to screenshot it, and you want a paper trail, and you want receipts so that if there's any issues, you can be like, "Oh no, but I did RSVP, and here's the timestamp."

Leah: I screenshot everything. Like, my Eventbrite tickets, any time something goes through online, I just screenshot it until the thing happens and then I go back in and I delete it.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, it's a good idea, especially because all this electronic stuff is so ephemeral.

Leah: And then you have all the details. "Oh, I have a picture of that on my phone. I know where ..."

Nick: Also that, yeah.

Leah: It happens. Don't beat yourself up.

Nick: Oh, sure.

Leah: You texted your friend, you apologized, you're willing to accept whatever. It happens.

Nick: And reaching out before the wedding is way better than just showing up.

Leah: [laughs] Yeah.

Nick: So it is much more courteous to try and clarify things today rather than at the wedding. Because if there was any doubt, just rolling in? I mean, a lot of people would just do that and be like, "I'm gonna roll the dice." But that's, I think, worse. So I think you're doing the right thing by reaching out, clarifying, trying to correct. And my hope is that you'll be able to go.

Leah: Fingers crossed!

Nick: So our next question is quote, "Recently, I was doing scientific fieldwork on a somewhat remote island with a small scientific community. On the final day of my work, my diving fins disappeared. An email was sent out asking if anyone picked them up, and some guy did. So I contacted him with a, "Hi. Those are my fins. Would you mind sending them back? I'd be happy to help cover the shipping. No rush." So the guy then mails them back to me in a really large box, along with a shipping receipt for $46. I did an estimate, and the shipping should have been closer to $15. I said thank you and that I would send him $23 to split it. He said he wanted the full amount and to please send him $46. I was appalled because he took my fins and he selected a box big enough for me to fit inside, rather than one that would have been appropriate for my small fins. The chances are relatively low that I'll ever encounter him again in future field sessions, so I'm considering not responding to his request. Or should I just send the $23 or the full $46? What should my next move be?"

Nick: So my first thought is: did this person steal your flippers, or did they just, like, pick them up because they saw them after everybody had left the diving area, and they just thought that was the courteous thing to do? That was kind of what I first thought. It was like, was there nefarious intent with these flippers or not? Like, when we "pick up," quote-unquote, what was that about? That was something I needed a little more information about.

Leah: Yeah, I was sort of tripping over that because I was like, did this guy steal your flippers, and then he got called out and he was like, "Oh, yeah. I have them."

Nick: Right. So I was like, "Okay." So regardless of the answer to that, I think this person did you a favor, and we can't necessarily dictate the terms of that favor. I feel like he did the thing you asked him to do, which was mail you back the flippers, and it cost him 46 bucks. So that's the cost of doing business.

Leah: I think if we wanted him to do the shipping in the small box, which obviously would have been the logical thing that we would assume a person would do, but we would have had to clarify it first. "Hey, I estimated the shipping. This is how much it is. Please, can you send it to me? I'll send you the money."

Nick: Right? I think that could have been good to do up top. But once this person is now out $46, it is our obligation to make them whole, even if we don't feel like that was the dollar amount that was appropriate. But that is what they spent. And they also spent time and effort finding the box, going to the post office, like, doing all these other things.

Leah: And I do think even if they are fin stealers, which I sort of feel like they might have been, and then it's on their karma, and you fulfilled—you said you were gonna reimburse them, and so you're fulfilling your side. And then if they're fin stealers, it's their bad karma to carry around.

Nick: And then there's that detail of, "Oh, I'm not gonna see this person again." And I don't love that line of reasoning, because imagine if we lived in a world in which we felt there was no etiquette consequences around being rude to people we're not gonna see again. Can you imagine what any flight would look like? Can you imagine what being on an airplane would look like if we thought there's no reason to be nice to these people. I'm not gonna see them again. Like, can you imagine the breakdown in society?

Leah: Of course I can imagine. That's why when somebody lets me into traffic, I roll my window down and wave to make sure that they saw it.

Nick: [laughs] So I do think just because we're not gonna see them again, that's not a reason to not just make them whole and kind of fulfill your side of the bargain. And also in my experience, you will always run into people again. You will always see people again. There is no such thing as a one-time interaction. And inevitably, that one interaction you had, which was like, "Oh, that was a little awkward," or "That's not how I wanted that to go," you will run into this person again. Like, it's always those people you see again, have to work with again, will encounter again. So it's always in your best interest, your selfish interest, just to be nice to everybody.

Leah: And I think it's always in your best interest to do what you said you would do, which is you said you'd reimburse them.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: And then you just reimburse them, even if they're poo-poo fin stealers, and that's not cool of them. You took the high road.

Nick: But I do get the impulse here, which is like, "I didn't ask you to spend 46 bucks, and you didn't have to spend 46 bucks. And I'm mad that you did. And I don't feel like I'm responsible for your bad decision-making."

Leah: Well, and especially after you stole my fins. I totally get that.

Nick: [laughs] Right. So I get where we're coming from, and I get why we feel the way we do. But unfortunately, etiquette is not always satisfying. And sometimes the right etiquette thing is not the satisfying thing. And I think this is a good example of when that happens.

Leah: I'm glad you got your fins back, though, and I think it's so super cool that you're doing scientific fieldwork on a somewhat remote island.

Nick: [laughs] Take us with you!

Leah: Also, I think everybody on this email chain now knows this guy's a fin stealer. So you come out shining. You come out shining, and he is the fin stealer who spends too much money on shipping.

Nick: Good point. Good point. So our next question is quote, "When getting treats for work and people offer to split the cost, what is the etiquette in regards to the tip given to the bakery? I recently picked up a dozen donuts for a going-away party for a coworker, and I gave a 25 percent tip. But when the boss asked me for the cost for reimbursement, I wasn't sure what to tell him: just the cost of the donuts, or the price plus the tip? It seems unfair for me to ask others to chip in for a cost that had not been negotiated first, and then ask them to pay whatever it is I decide to tip. I don't mind covering the tip, but I was curious, is there a better way to handle this?"

Leah: I think you could just say, "Hey, donuts were $20. I tipped $5."

Nick: $20 for a dozen donuts? These are nice donuts.

Leah: Well, of course they're nice donuts.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: I'm just throwing out numbers here, so ...

Nick: Or actually, these are cheap donuts based on what city you're in. There's a place near my house, they have donuts that are $8 each.

Leah: What?

Nick: Well, they're very good. [laughs]

Leah: I bet they are very good. I'm so hungry!

Nick: And that's considered cheap. For Valrhona chocolate? I mean, delicious.

Leah: Hello!

Nick: Right?

Leah: You think you should just say the full number right up top.

Nick: Well, yes. For many reasons. I mean, tipping is sort of included in the idea that I'm gonna go and I'm gonna pick up some donuts and bring them back to the office. And I'm gonna tip the bakery for putting this together for me. Like, it is not unusual to tip for that service, and so if I'm asking you to do that for me, I should know that oh, maybe there's gonna be a tip involved so it's not gonna, like, come out of left field.

Nick: And also, I think as the person that is running the errand, you have a lot of discretion and executive authority on what happens on that errand. So let's say I go and I pick up donuts and they don't have blueberry donuts. There's no more blueberry. It is in my power to decide I'm gonna substitute. We're gonna do a lemon donut today. I have that power. Or let's say I go and they've raised the prices 10 cents. I'm not gonna call everybody to be like, "Is this price increase okay?" No, I'm gonna just do it, and we're gonna just buy them, and then I'm gonna just tell you, "Oh, the price went up a little bit, and that's what it is." And I used my executive authority to just make the call. I'm gonna buy the donuts anyway.

Nick: So I think you have the authority as the errand runner to tip if that's what you want to do. And if these people have a problem with it and they don't want to tip, then they can go get the donuts next time.

Leah: I really like how Nick's coming in on this.

Nick: Yeah. And you can be known as the person who tips. Boo! You know?

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: Like, fine. I'm happy to have that reputation in the office. So that's how I feel about that.

Leah: I like it.

Nick: Do you have a favorite donut?

Leah: Um ...

Nick: Are you cakey or are you not cakey?

Leah: I love a chocolate-glazed cruller.

Nick: You know what? I do too.

Leah: Really?

Nick: Yeah. Yeah, I think we have the same donut taste.

Leah: Oh my goodness!

Nick: Close second? Bear claw. Third choice? Apple fritter.

Leah: Oh, really?

Nick: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I love a good cinnamon flavor.

Leah: [laughs] I love the act outs on the different donuts. Bear claw, apple fritter—you guys can't see at home, but Nick has hand gestures for all of the donuts.

Nick: Yeah, of course. I mean, how else do you describe donuts?

Leah: I always enjoy an old fashioned too. I feel like people ...

Nick: Oh, a classic!

Leah: It's a classic. Especially, like, in a fall setting.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: My second favorite is actually not a donut, but since you throw in apple fritter, I feel like I can say cheese Danish.

Nick: Oh, different world. No. Uh-uh. No, because that's not fried. It's not a fried thing. That's baked. And that's a totally different animal.

Leah: Oh, it's so good. But I mean, sometimes you get it in the same place, so I'm counting it.

Nick: Well, we're not talking about viennoiserie, though. All right?

Leah: Well, in Queens at my laundromat, they sold cheese Danishes. And ...

Nick: I love a good laundromat baked good.

Leah: It was really delicious!

Nick: [laughs] Okay. All right. Sorry to go down that sidebar, everybody.

Leah: I mean, are we sorry?

Nick: [laughs] You know, am I ever? No. Our next question is quote, "A friend reached out and said that she had a gift certificate to a local restaurant, and asked if I would like to join her for dinner. This is a friend I've known for years, and we socialize and we dine together frequently. We had a lovely meal, but when the check came, she used the gift certificate for just her portion of the bill. Was I wrong to think that she was going to use the gift certificate for the entire check and that we would split the rest? This is an expensive restaurant that I would otherwise only go to for a special occasion, and not some random Tuesday night. She is also well aware that she's in a better place financially than I am."

Leah: I can't say what I wrote because it's ...

Nick: *[laughs] Is it not polite?

Leah: It's not polite. But I think your friend is definitely in the wrong here.

Nick: Um, yeah. I mean, in so few words? Yeah, It is totally reasonable to expect that if you are being invited to dinner, and the reason why we're doing this dinner involves a gift certificate, that somehow the gift certificate will be part of the dinner experience that you will be enjoying. I think that's like a reasonable thing. Because otherwise, why are we mentioning it?

Leah: Why did it get brought up?

Nick: Like, I don't say, like, "Oh, I just got a new American Express card. Do you want to do dinner?" It's like, you don't care about the payment method. Actually, but if I said that to you, you would also think, like, "Oh, am I paying for dinner?" Right? Anytime you involve a payment method in an invitation, it also feels like, oh, are we using that payment method? So that's even a bad example. Yeah.

Leah: Even if it wasn't brought up, and you go out to dinner at this place and your friend pulls out a gift card and then just pays for their part, it would feel weird.

Nick: Right. I was thinking about that. Is the use of a gift certificate at any point during a meal that's for you alone, is that always gonna be weird? And I think it is. I don't think there's a way you can smoothly use a gift card or gift certificate for you alone. I don't know if you can do that.

Leah: No, it's coming off the top of the whole. It's coming off the top of the whole, and then you're splitting it.

Nick: Right. Yeah. I kind of think that's how that needs to go down.

Leah: But definitely, if you're like, "I have a gift certificate, let's go to this place." You're saying, "I'm paying for everybody."

Nick: Yes. And I get that this letter-writer added this line at the end which is like, "Oh, my friend is more well-off than I am," how this just feels like a bit of a knife twist on top of everything else. But even without that detail, this is still rude.

Leah: It's rude!

Nick: Yeah. But yeah, I guess the question is: is there a polite way to use the gift certificate that I only use and I don't share with other people I'm dining with? Do you think there's a way we could actually achieve this?

Leah: I think the only way you could achieve it is if you pretended your gift certificate was a card and then you were splitting it, which is not gonna work.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: I don't think it's—I just don't think it's—it doesn't feel right that you would. It feels weird.

Nick: Yeah. Yeah, I think "weird" is the nicest word. Yeah. I don't think this is done.

Leah: Yeah, I altered the language from what I wrote down to "weird."

Nick: So I'm sorry this happened. I think it's a valuable lesson though, that when you are gonna dine out with this friend, that this is a possibility. This can happen. Some shenanigans with the bill paying.

Leah: Yeah, it seems like shenanigans!

Nick: So just know shenanigans is possible with this person now. And I think knowing that is very valuable information. So perhaps this was a small price to pay for that knowledge.

Leah: And I think next time you could be like—they were like, "Hey, I have a gift certificate to Nobu," and you could be like, "Oh, I'd love to go, but does the gift certificate mean both of us? Because I can't ..."

Nick: [laughs] "Is it gonna be like last time where actually ..."

Leah: "Is it gonna be like last time? Because I actually can't go there and just throw cash down on a Wednesday."

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I would welcome that polite-yet-direct conversation if you could do it in a way that didn't have any of that snark in it. But ...

Leah: Did that have snark? [laughs]

Nick: It had a je ne sais quoi. Yeah. [laughs] I loved it, but I don't think it's approved.

Leah: Whoo! I mean, these people!

Nick: Yeah, these people. Speaking of which, our next question is quote, "I have two bathrooms in my house, but only one bathroom has a shower. Whenever we have guests, we all have to share. There have been several guests who, when using the shower, will use my products such as the shampoo, soap and face wash. I personally find this rude, especially when it comes to hair products, as those are something I've always invested in and they're expensive. If we had a separate guest bathroom, I would obviously supply it with the products for our guests to use, but this isn't the case. The question is: is it rude that they're doing this? When I travel, I always bring travel-sized products for me to use. Should I not expect the same from my guests? I don't know how to get them to stop other than to completely remove my products from the shower before they use it, but that feels like too much work. I thought about making a basket of small items to leave in the guest room for guests to use, but I honestly don't anticipate them remembering to grab anything before heading into the shower. Maybe I'm just looking for validation that this is annoying and is something I will just have to deal with."

Leah: I'll give you validation that it's annoying.

Nick: [laughs] Yeah, it's annoying. Yeah, it's annoying.

Leah: Also, I don't use people's stuff when I stay in their house.

Nick: I mean, I think a host should offer some of the basics. So I feel like soap, shampoo, conditioner, I feel like that's a nice amenity baseline.

Leah: And I have been, like, at a friend's house and I'll be like, "Hey, I forgot my shower oil. May I use some of yours?" I always ask.

Nick: Yeah, permission is very nice. "Oh, do you mind if I use your soap?" Yes. I mean, I think that's a nice baseline. Sure.

Leah: I don't think it's weird to expect people to bring their own. You're not a hotel. Why are they not bringing their—I understand forgetting something.

Nick: Right.

Leah: Or maybe you only had a carry on and you couldn't bring, like, a big lotion. "May I use your lotion?" But to just be like, "Oh, please supply me with all of the toiletries" seems ridiculous.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I can also see that side. I mean, I think most people that have a guest room do collect enough hotel products in their own travels to have enough to offer, like, a little amenity kit to any guest that they have. I mean, I feel like that's common.

Leah: But she said she'd be happy—or he or she said they'd be happy to do that, but they're using her stuff, they're using their stuff in the shower. So I think you could go, when they're like, "Hey, I'm gonna shower," and you're like, "Okay, towels are on your bed. Also, let me know if you need anything I have." And then you could give it to them at that moment. That way it's fresh in their head, "Oh, they want me to use these products, not theirs."

Nick: Hmm, okay. And I think this little basket of goodies, instead of having that in the guest room and you're worried that they're gonna forget in the guestroom, put it in the bathroom. And it's like, oh, it's already in the bathroom. "Here are your toiletries if you need them." And that could be like a thing.

Leah: Yeah, I like that.

Nick: But I do feel like there are times when we are frustrated from something like this, and it can be helpful to reframe it. And sometimes when we reframe it, we might be less frustrated. So one way to reframe this is: let's say we have very expensive hair products—as we do—and let's say it's $50 for a bottle. That is an expensive hair product. I think we could all agree that's an expensive conditioner. And let's say we only get 50 pumps out of that. So it's a dollar a pump. What a conditioning experience! And let's say you have a houseguest who's there for three days and they have three pumps out of this thing. $3. And so the question is: is that dollar amount in your head? Like, "Oh, is that okay to spend on my guests who are in my home this weekend?" Like, is that fine? Is that just sort of the cost of having guests? Because it's like, how much food are you buying that they might be eating? Or they plugged in their iPhone. How much electricity are they using? The water, the extra garbage in your garbage can. It's sort of like it all adds up, and it's sort of like, do we really want to nickel and dime the entire guest experience?

Nick: Because if we actually added up how much guests cost us, we wouldn't have guests. It's not cost effective. We have guests for other reasons. And so maybe if we reframe it and we're just like, "Yes, use my products. Yes, maybe it's gonna cost $10—they really went to town with the bubble bath. But maybe that's just, like, what I want to spend on my guests for them just to feel like they're having a good time. And if I can just not be annoyed, then maybe that's good."

Leah: I like where you're going with this.

Nick: However ... [laughs]

Leah: However, I don't think it's a money thing. This person is—they were like, "If I had another bathroom, I'd fill it up." It's the using the stuff that you use while you're in the shower thing.

Nick: Oh, you think it's more of a "These are my products that are sort of intimate and personal to me." Is it the personal care aspect of it?

Leah: It's the personal care aspect of it, I think.

Nick: Okay. I mean, there is a reference to "expensive hair products that I invest in."

Leah: That's true. And I get that because I have curly hair. I have to use very special products. People come in, they could use any kind of hair product, and then they're flippedy-dippedy using the whole thing up. And I'm like, "Hey, hey, hey, I have to order this from a place."

Nick: Okay.

Leah: "Just use the Suave." You know what I'm saying? But you're right, they did specifically say that. But I do think there is something that's—it is an intimate feeling, people using your shower items.

Nick: Yeah, I can see that it bothers you more because it is in that category of goods. Because, like, we wouldn't feel the same way about "Oh, you ate all my chips in the kitchen."

Leah: Yeah, it would not feel the same. Even if they were very expensive chips. I think it's your sanctuary and it feels like an intimate activity, and you're like, "I don't want everybody's hands all over my shower stuff."

Nick: Fair enough. So I guess the question is: what do we do about it? So I think your choices are: hide your stuff. Just hide it. Take it away. Why should there be temptation? Maybe that's the easiest. Just hide your stuff away, and get a little shower caddy for yourself, and then you bring it into the shower every time you need it. You won't forget. And maybe that's the solution.

Leah: I also really like the basket of goodies for them in the bathroom, because how cute is that? You come to visit somebody, they have a little basket in the bathroom with your name on it and cute little fun shower things?

Nick: Oh, put your name on it! Oh, that is cute. Yeah, I like that. And kind of make it part of the guest experience.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: And I think if you're the guest and you forgot something ...

Nick: Ask.

Leah: Just ask. I'm happy to let anybody use whatever. But it's weird when you come back and you had a full bottle of something that's completely gone, and nobody brought up that they needed hair gel.

Nick: Well, then that's when you need to take a Sharpie, and you have to do a little line on the bottle where it was when you started the day. And then you monitor it and see if it goes down unauthorized. Is that too petty? Is that too much?

Leah: No, it's very funny. I like the idea. Obviously, I'm not organized enough to notice at all. I could come back and there'd be no shower and I'd be like, "Something is different."

Nick: Oh, I always keep a Sharpie in my bathroom. It comes up. It does. Well, because sometimes I want to know how long something lasts. Like, if I'm gonna be doing travel, I want to know, like, oh, how long does it take me to go through this container of moisturizer? So I'll write the date I opened it on the container, and then I'll understand like, oh, it's this many days. So that if I'm going on a three-week trip, I'll know oh, I only need one of these containers for that because that's how long it'll last me on average.

Leah: We are legitimately The Odd Couple.

Nick: [laughs] Is that not what you do, Leah?

Leah: We are really—I don't even know where some of my stuff came from. I can't find my glasses right now that I use to see. I mean ...

Nick: I see.

Leah: Whoo!

Nick: All right. So we have different approaches to life, I guess, is what you're saying.

Leah: No, it's perfect. We are that television show.

Nick: Yeah, that's us. Well, I definitely recommend the Sharpie approach. And I feel like if you put a Sharpie—and you actually should have both fine point and regular Sharpie. If you're gonna have it, you might as well have two. Try in the bathroom. You would be amazed how many times it comes up: writing on packaging, all sorts of things. Really recommend it.

Leah: Amazing. Amazing work.

Nick: So do you have questions for us? Of course you do. So send them to us. You can send them to us at our website, WereYouRaisedByWolves.com, or you can leave us voicemail or send us a text message, (267) CALL-RBW. And we'll see you next time.

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!