Using Squeegees in Showers, Stopping Judgy Comments, Asking Strangers for Wedding Cash, and More

Nick: Hey, everybody. It's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And it's Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we had so many great questions from you all in the wilderness ...

Leah: [howls]

Nick: ... that we have a bonus episode. So here we go. Our first question is quote, "If a host provides a squeegee in their shower, am I obligated to use it as a guest? Is it rude to choose not to squeegee their shower as a guest?"

Leah: I don't know. You know, when I read this I thought, "This is a Nick question."

Nick: Oh, it's a me question? Why, is it the squeegee part?

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] Does "squeegee" just say Nick Leighton to you?

Leah: "Squeegee" says Nick Leighton to me.

Nick: Interesting. Okay. I mean, do you want to take a stab?

Leah: Um, well, my stab was very vague.

Nick: Okay, let's hear it.

Leah: I kind of feel like the squeegee's in the shower, because that's how—what they use to—I feel like what's the damage that you did? Did you soak the shower?

Nick: Water spots!

Leah: But I mean, how long, you know what I mean? Was this a long shower where there's, like, condensation dripping?

Nick: I mean ...

Leah: Or did you just get in and you—you had a little rinse?

Nick: Have you ever been in one of these showers, though? I mean, let's paint the scene. It's typically like a glass wall partition thing. It's not a shower curtain. And any water on this thing is gonna leave a drip, a water spot when it dries.

Leah: Well, that's why I feel like it's a Nick Leighton question. Do you see what I'm saying?

Nick: [laughs] Okay. So I think first of all, why do we have these things? I mean, I'm a big fan of not having things in your house that are hard to keep clean. Like, I'm not gonna have black granite countertops in my kitchen. Like, what an insane thing. You cannot keep those clean. I don't want to spend my life windexing, and I feel like this is one of these things. This is like a surface. This is like, you can never get this perfectly clean unless you want to spend your life windexing and, like, squeegeeing and, like, that's not a life I want to live. So I think my advice here is we have to renovate. I think we just have to renovate everybody's houses and take these out. So that's it. Next question.

Leah: You know, it's so funny. That's not what I thought you were gonna go with.

Nick: [laughs] Well, okay. So ...

Leah: But of course it's very Nick.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I just feel like it's very impractical to have things in your house that are just hard to always keep pristine. And I like to live in a pristine world, so I just—I would not have this in any of my homes. I do think the interesting thing is the word "choose." Is it rude to "choose" not to squeegee? That is an active choice, and it's sort of like, why would you actively choose to, like, not do something courteous? That's how I read this. So it's like, how hard is it just to squeegee?

Leah: Yeah. But also I guess from the other side, it's like, as the host, if I had a squeegee shower and you were using it and you didn't squeegee, I'd be like, whatever, I'll squeegee after you're gone.

Nick: So I think hosts are gonna fall into two categories: one are gonna be the ones that agree with you, which is like, "It's fine." The others are like, "They didn't squeegee." [laughs]

Leah: I guess I sort of don't expect—and I feel like people are gonna message me on this, and I guess I should just be comfortable with that. I'm not inviting people over to my house to do labor.

Nick: Right. Well, I think it's the dance. It's the guest-host dance, which is like, you shouldn't be mad at your guests if, like, it doesn't happen. Like, that should just be the cost of entertaining. Also, they're never gonna do it to the degree that you need it to be done, to be satisfying. You're gonna go back, you're gonna squeegee it over. So, like, that's what's happening. However, I do want my guest to make an effort. You know, like, you're not gonna do it right but, like, I want to know that you tried a little bit. Like, I like that gesture. Like, to see the squeegee and actively choose not to use it, I'm like, yeah, would it kill you to, you know, give it a few little wipes with the squeegee? You know, just show you cared a little bit? I kind of want that too.

Leah: Also, I think in some bathrooms there's, like, a problem with condensation.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: Do you know what I mean? Like, for when we signed our lease in this apartment, like, they made it very clear that water sitting on walls is a situation.

Nick: Sure.

Leah: So if it's that kind of a thing, and then somebody's visiting me and being like, "Hey, when you get out of the shower, can you pop a window and do a quick squeeg because we got little problems with condensation here?"

Nick: Oh, yes. As a guest, I don't want to give you black mold.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Sure. [laughs]

Leah: So I see that entirely. But if it's ...

Nick: Oh, yeah.

Leah: ... just because you don't want smudge marks, it's not a crisis.

Nick: Well, I think this is absent any conversation between host and guest because, like, as a guest, if I saw a squeegee, I would just squeegee. If I wasn't sure if you wanted me to squeegee for some reason, I guess I could ask, like, "Hey, do you want me to squeegee afterwards?" And then as the host, you could be like, "Oh, don't worry about it. Or, like, "Sure." And if it really bothered you as a host, you could ask your guest, like, "Oh, here's your towels, here's where the guest bathroom is and, like, oh, if you wouldn't mind giving it a quick squeeg—" to use a Leah Bonnema expression, then that would be perfectly fine, I think.

Leah: Yeah, I think you could say, "Do you mind giving it a quick squeeg," if it's a thing. Otherwise, I need to be told. Otherwise, I just think it's something you have in there.

Nick: Your own volition, it would not occur to you to use the provided squeegee?

Leah: No, it would not.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: I'd be like, "Am I supposed to use this on myself?"

Nick: Oh, what to do with the squeegee? Well, that's a different conversation.

Leah: I just need to be told what to—just tell me.

Nick: Well, okay. This podcast is telling you, and everybody else out there, that if you see a squeegee in a bathroom and there's a glass wall, you are being encouraged to use it to remove water from that so that when it does dry, it doesn't have water spots. Like, that is the point of this.

Leah: That's how far we had to walk for you to answer that question directly. [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] You didn't like the journey we took?

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: The side-to-side sweeping motion of a journey. Okay.

Leah: There. Now I'm told.

Nick: Now you know.

Leah: If you see a squeegee, squeegee.

Nick: You know, it'd just be nice to do, because I mean, it's not gonna kill you. It's not gonna kill you.

Leah: Oh, I'm happy to do it.

Nick: But I will say that if you are a host that has a squeegee lifestyle, you just have to know not every guest is gonna be able to live up to your expectations.

Leah: Oh, they're for sure not.

Nick: So just want to calibrate accordingly. So our next question is quote, "I was recently at a lovely group dinner with friends, and two of us had just made travel plans, and we asked the rest of the table if anyone else might want to join. As people weighed the pros and cons, they asked how much our flights cost. When I shared the amount we paid, I was met with the following comments: 'Oh my gosh, why did you pay that much?' 'Oh, I don't think I would have paid that price.' 'What? But I flew to that city for cheaper.' This made me feel like I had to defend myself. I proceeded to explain the limited flight options, and how this was just the cost of economy flights since it will be at peak travel season. After being met with another round of comments on the price, I felt myself starting to have an emotional reaction, so I finally told them, 'You guys are making me feel bad.' The group immediately switched their tone to say that I should not regret it, and that I would have a great time, but I've been in a few group conversations where similar comments have been made to me as travel is one area where I do choose to spend my money. Is there anything I could say to politely head off the negative judgy comments next time?"

Leah: I—A) I'm very proud of our letter-writer for saying, "Hey, you're making me feel bad." You know, just—like, just very direct. Like, "This—this doesn't feel good to me."

Nick: Yeah. And it did end it. It was successful. So I think that is a great etiquette resolution to that current problem.

Leah: I did notice that instead of saying—instead of taking responsibility for—the friends, instead of saying, like, "Oh, I shouldn't have said that," they were like, "Oh, don't regret your choice." It's like, no, maybe you should have kept your opinion to yourself.

Nick: Oh, that's a good point. Yeah.

Leah: And then I almost feel like, let's not get in these conversations with these people anymore. When you say this has happened before, is there anything politely to head off any negative, it seems like people—and this does seem like a trend where when you say something, people then feel the need to say what they think about it instead of just saying, "Oh," you know?

Nick: Oh, you mean the trend of people feeling the need to comment on everything?

Leah: Yes.

Nick: [laughs] That trend? Yeah. I mean, welcome to Yelp reviews, and all reviews and commentary and yeah. No, there is this feeling that everything requires some sort of commentary.

Leah: But commentary on how it would work for you when this is—it's our letter-writer's travel plans. You know, it's just like a very—like, when I say I like Lord of the Rings, people go, "I hate it!" You're like, "Well, I don't—I wasn't—I'm just telling you what I like."

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: You don't need to—like, you don't need to tell me "I would never pay that." Like, oh, how about just, "Have a great time?"

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I think the issue here is that it's actually not about what things cost. Like, that's not what this is about. It's that your friends are saying you have bad judgment. You have bad judgment because you allowed yourself to pay some dollar amount for something, and allowing yourself to pay that was bad judgment. And that's why I think this is super rude, and also, like, why this makes you feel bad because, like, your friends are being like, "Oh, you have bad judgment."

Leah: I don't like it, and I would try to not be in these conversations anymore.

Nick: Yeah, I think that's really the solution. Like, let's just not go there again, because we all spend our money the way we want to, and we all have different things we spend our money on. Like, I spend money on travel. Like, that's where most of my budget goes. Other people spend their money in different ways: on watches, on experiences, on fine wines, on cooking at home, on cheese. Leah, what do you spend your money on?

Leah: My dog.

Nick: Your dog. Yeah, that is really true. [laughs] Right. And so, like, that's how you want to spend your money, in which case that's great. That's not for anybody else to question.

Leah: Yeah. It's just I really think this is a sad habit that's—that's come into our culture where everybody just comments on—it's very judgy. Oh, how I think you—like you just said, and I think the best way to deal with it is by not participating in these conversations.

Nick: That's tricky though, because it's like, oh, it would be nice if these friends wanted to join us for our trip to Reykjavik or wherever we're going. And it's like, if we don't talk about it at all then it's sort of like, you know—I guess we could say, like, "Oh, here are our dates, and we're flying on Iceland Air but, you know, other airlines fly there too. And so, you know, check out the flights to see if anything works for you." And maybe that's just how we leave it.

Leah: And then if somebody says, "Well, how much did you pay?" I almost feel like you could say, "Hey, last time we had this conversation, I brought up what I paid and all of you sort of jumped on me and made me feel bad about it, so I don't really want to talk about it anymore."

Nick: That's fair. That's definitely fair. Yeah.

Leah: Because you're not being—you're not being rude. You're just being like, "Hey, this is a road I've walked down before—more than once—and every time I feel bad, so I'm not walking down it." Because people need to, like, have a little mirror back onto their, you know—oh, I did do that.

Nick: Yes. And it's also, like, do you really want to talk about the way you spend your money? Like, let's talk about how you prioritize your finances. And it's like, that's not—that's not what we're doing.

Leah: It's your money.

Nick: Yes. Unless it's your business how somebody spends their money, unless there actually is some reason why you need to be involved or care or have a say. If that is not what is happening, then yeah, it is not your business.

Leah: And you're welcome to say if someone was like, "Hey, I would love for you to come," and then you're like, "Oh, I can't afford it right now." That's fine. But don't say, "Oh, you shouldn't have paid that."

Nick: [laughs] Right. Yeah.

Leah: I'm sorry.

Nick: Yeah, I'm sorry that this happened, but I hope you have a great trip wherever it is.

Leah: I hope you have an amazing trip.

Nick: Yeah. Actually, I hope it's so good that you make all these other people regret not joining you. That's really the most satisfying outcome here.

Leah: I also think it's a very satisfying outcome telling people, "I don't want to go down that road again."

Nick: Yeah. I mean, it is satisfying to set a boundary and being like, "Yep, I just set that boundary."

Leah: "I set that boundary because you multiple times hurt my feelings, so I'm not doing that to myself. Love you!"

Nick: So our next question is quote, "A friend of mine recently mentioned the one-year rule regarding time to get thank-you notes out for wedding presents. I thought the one-year rule on wedding gifts applied to the time allowed to get gifts to the couple, not one year to write a thank-you note. Can you give us a ruling please?"

Leah: [singing] It's another Nick Leighton.

Nick: Yes. And we've talked about this before, but it does feel like we all need a little reminder. So here's the rule: you have up to a year to send a gift. You do not have a year to write a thank-you note. Full stop. That's the rule.

Leah: You have two years.

Nick: [laughs] Leah Bonnema!

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: You—you are not helping. We are—we are trying to make the world better. You are just undoing it. You're just like pulling the little thread. You're unraveling the tapestry of politeness that we are trying to create here.

Leah: Oh, you know I'm kidding.

Nick: [laughs] Yes, I know, but does everyone else know? And a little more context. The you-have-a-year-to-send-a-gift thing, that is not an excuse to delay. That's more like a grace period. So you should send that gift promptly. Like, don't, like, actually wait until 364 days to, like, put that in the mail. But, like, you do have some time after the event to send a gift.

Nick: Regarding the timing on the when to send the thank-you notes, it's as soon as you receive that gift—which might be before the wedding. Like, a lot of people send wedding gifts before the wedding actually happens. Those thank-you notes should happen then. Do not wait until after the wedding to write a billion thank-you notes. It is so much easier to do it as you go along. And definitely the idea that you have, like, a year? Like, what an insane thing. Because can you imagine if you send a gift and a year later you get a thank-you note? Like, how does that strike you as a gift giver? That doesn't strike me good. So it is measured in days.

Leah: Oof!

Nick: Weeks, maybe. It is not measured in months. It's definitely not measured in a year. So just to be clear, you have up to a year to send, you do not have a year to write. Are we clear?

Leah: We are very clear. We are—it's as if you used a squeegee and just cleared that glass.

Nick: [laughs] Yeah, I feel like my tone might have been a little stern, but sometimes we have to—we have to have Mean Nick. So our next question is quote, "I've always had a question about group chat etiquette and in particular group chats about planning events. I got an invite to a party with a bit of a mystery. We only had the date and not the time or place. The host told us to text back our RSVPs on the big group chat with about 20 people. There was a storm of yes's and no's, and I had no idea what was going on and who was going. My question is: once people have responded, should you make a separate group chat with all of the people who said yes to answer questions about the party or give more information, and to avoid hurting the feelings of someone who couldn't come? Or should you stay on the original group chat as to avoid cluttered texts and confusion?"

Leah: I'm actually on a group text like this.

Nick: Okay. So big group text, an event is happening, a subset of those people may attend.

Leah: Yes, and I was very glad when the subset moved to another text strand, because half the people weren't even in this geographical location. And I was like, why are they getting these texts?

Nick: Yeah. And are you going or not going?

Leah: I am going.

Nick: So you got moved to the new group?

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Yeah. I feel like that—that is the way to go. And I think once you have sorted out all the logistics, then I think what is courteous is to go back to the original group text and pop in the details, which is like, "Hey, original group text people, just in case you have a change of plans or want to attend, here's now the final plan. FYI. Let me know if you can make it in a private DM."

Leah: And I think it's less about our letter-writer says to avoid hurting the people's feelings of someone who couldn't come. I don't think it necessarily hurts people's feelings. I think it's more that they don't need all those texts coming in about the details when it's something that they're no longer involved in.

Nick: Yeah. Oh, for sure. No. I think it's definitely courteous to be like, "Oh, take me out of the loop."

Leah: Yes.

Nick: But I would like if I wasn't attending, like, "Oh, just give me a heads up when you do sort out the plan." In case I wanted to go in the end, or I had a change of plans or, like, just to know what it is. And I definitely wouldn't feel excluded then.

Leah: Yeah, I think that's a nice addition.

Nick: Okay, so then that's that. Do that. So our next question is quote, "I was invited to my boyfriend's family's home over the weekend. Dinner and breakfast the following morning were sit down. I honestly felt drained and awkward to go to breakfast, so I skipped it to catch up on some work. I'm afraid I was rude, but how much? What should I do about it now? And is this a bad sign for the relationship?"

Leah: I always want to have our letter-writer's back.

Nick: Right? However ...

Leah: However ...

Nick: [laughs] Yeah. Yeah.

Leah: I mean, I understand you're tired. Traveling is hard. You had work. You felt like it was, like, early in the morning. You felt awkward. But I think that when we're meeting people's family, we show up to the events we're invited to.

Nick: Yes. I think it's important to participate in all the things that your host has arranged, especially since it sounds like this is a new relationship. If you were married for 40 years and these were your in-laws and you've just had it, sure, stay upstairs, skip breakfast. Like, we all get it. But this sounds pretty new, so you do have to, like, put your best foot forward at all times.

Leah: And I understand when you have work, but I think you go down to breakfast. "This is lovely." And then you say, "May I—I need to be excused. I have—I have work I have to do. This was absolutely lovely. I'll see you at dinner."

Nick: Right.

Leah: Thank you so much.

Nick: Yeah. So I guess yeah, let's answer the questions. Was this rude? It wasn't great. It wasn't great. How much? Hard to say. I think we'd actually have to check in with the boyfriend on this. Be like, "Did anybody notice? Did anybody care?" Because there's a lot of families where it's casual, although a sit-down breakfast? Well, I guess most breakfasts are sit down. I was thinking linen in my head when I heard "sit down."

Leah: There could have been linen.

Nick: There could have been linen. Yeah. When I read this, in my mind I was picturing those silver toast thingies where the toast goes vertical.

Leah: Oh!

Nick: I was picturing that.

Leah: This is a lovely breakfast!

Nick: Well, because when you say, like, sit down, breakfast, it sounds so formal, but most times we are sitting. Unless we're just, like, eating a bagel while we're, like, standing over the sink. So ...

Leah: I think they mean sit down, like they're saying, "8:00 am."

Nick: Yeah. "Breakfast will be served." Right. It's that vibe, yeah. I guess I would ask the boyfriend, which is like, "Oh, how catastrophic was this?"

Leah: And then is this a bad sign for the relationship?

Nick: So we are in an etiquette show, not a relationship show. We want to stay in our lane. However ...

Leah: I love not staying in my lane, so—oh good, there was a "however." I do think—is the question is it possible that this is something that really upset your partner's family or your boyfriend ...

Nick: Right?

Leah: Is that the question?

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And I mean, it could have. That's why I would talk to them about it.

Nick: Yeah. And a bad sign for the relationship? I mean, I guess it's sort of like was there something happening where it was draining and awkward? That's a good question, I guess.

Leah: But I mean, sometimes we just—we go up, we show to breakfast, we have small talk, we're polite, you know, because it's the person's family. And that's just a part of the deal.

Nick: Yeah. You just gotta rally. Yeah, so I think I would talk to the boyfriend. "Did anybody notice? Is anybody bothered?" And then I guess that's the conversation is sort of like, "Oh, how did we feel about all of that? And what, if anything, needs to happen now?" Let's say the family is super bothered by this. Like, "I cannot believe that she did not come down for breakfast!" And they're annoyed. I think we would write a letter to our hosts of that weekend thanking them for their hospitality, how nice it was to see them or meet them. Explain that just unfortunately, I just wasn't feeling up to breakfast that morning. A lot of work stress was happening. I want to apologize for coming across as rude. Was not my intention. I really enjoyed spending time with you, and I'm sorry that that meant I couldn't spend as much time with you as I wanted, so I just wanted to apologize." And I think we just kind of leave it at that. That's kind of the best you can do. And then, like, leave it in their court and then, you know, see if you get invited back.

Leah: I think if the boyfriend is upset about it and he says his family's upset, and this is something that you want to fix with that apology note, I might add a cheese basket.

Nick: Okay. Yeah. I mean, I like a baked good. I mean, would you send breakfast items, or is that a little provocative?

Leah: That seems provocative.

Nick: [laughs] Little muffins!

Leah: I would just—I would say what you said where I apologize. "I was just overtired from the trip. I wasn't feeling myself. I was upset about work. I should have taken the time, I apologize. I had a wonderful time meeting you."

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: "I look forward to making it up in the future. And then—yeah, and then a baked good, a cheese.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: Not breakfast related.

Nick: Non-breakfast related. Caviar.

Leah: Like, we're moving forward. The next thing.

Nick: And ideally, the thing you send is actually something thoughtful that you noticed from that weekend together. So they mentioned something at dinner the night before. It's a hobby you know they like. It's—it's something that's super personal, not just like a vague basket of pears.

Leah: And then also it is possible, as Nick said, that they weren't bothered at all. It was casual.

Nick: Yeah, I hope that's what it is.

Leah: It could totally be that.

Nick: Right.

Leah: And then regardless, I would send a thank-you note for having me, whether you're gonna apologize in it or not.

Nick: Oh, that's—yes actually, that will get you great points regardless. Yeah. No actually, the thank-you note, you should always send a thank-you note. Yeah. And you do have their address because you were at their house.

Leah: So I feel like we handled that. We're supportive of our letter-writer even if we slightly were like yes, maybe that was a bit of a thing. But you—we're moving forward, and we love you dearly and we think we can get through this together.

Nick: I think we're gonna be able to pull through. I do, yeah. But keep us posted. Actually, let us know, like, oh, was there actually any fallout, and how did they like the cheese basket that you sent, or how was the thank-you note received? Did you get points for that? Yeah. Let us know how it goes.

Leah: I feel good about the plans we have to move forward with this.

Nick: Okay, we're moving forward. So our next thing is a bonkers.

Leah: Bonkers!

Nick: And it's quote, "While driving downtown, I noticed the car in front of me had a bumper sticker with a QR code that said, 'Help us fund our dream wedding.' I took a blurry picture through my windshield while waiting at the four-way stop, because I doubted anyone would believe me without evidence. Who on Earth would donate money for a random couple they've never met? I am gobsmacked!"

Leah: I've actually seen this on the back of cars.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Also, I'm not gobsmacked at all. [laughs]

Leah: [singing] This is the world we live in.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, the idea that we're just begging strangers for money, that's the world we live in now.

Leah: It is so—it's not like it's like a GoFundMe for a medical situation, which I absolutely understand. It's like, "Hey, help pay for my wedding."

Nick: It's tacky. Yeah. There's no polite way to do it. There's no polite way just to ask people for cold, hard cash. It's just—it's not—it's just not a thing. Miss Manners has a great quote on this very topic, which is, "People have gotten shameless about demanding money from family, friends and strangers alike. Even the ubiquitous gift registry with its transparent whitewash is giving way to the outright demand for money. Any occasion will do: birth, death, anything in between, as an excuse for begging. It seems to Miss Manners that there are enough serious causes that need addressing before solvent people are justified in engaging in self philanthropy."

Leah: Self philanthropy.

Nick: That's a very kind way to describe what is happening. [laughs]

Leah: I have been—I have driven behind cars where—I drove behind a car where their entire back window was spray painted with a "Help me—" it was a wedding.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: "Help me have my dream wedding." And I wondered, has somebody driven by and been like, "That's so funny. I'll throw $5 in."

Nick: This must work. This actually must work. I mean ...

Leah: It must have worked at some point.

Nick: Because yeah okay, I'm gonna throw in five bucks. I mean, is that gonna help you have a dream wedding? I mean, what is your dream if my $5 is really gonna push you over the edge? [laughs]

Leah: Well, if 100 people throw in five bucks.

Nick: Yeah, okay.

Leah: I also, when I see these things, I sort of find them funny.

Nick: I think it's cheeky. I think it's pretty cheeky. Yeah.

Leah: You know, I think we're in this culture of it can't hurt to ask.

Nick: Right. And here's the thing: it can.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: It actually can. Yeah. And it falls as the same sort of vibe of, like, "Well, I'm just being honest." And it's kind of like, "Hmm."

Leah: "Also, I'm so glad you're not being honest, you're just being rude."

Nick: Yes. And so the idea, oh, it can't hurt to ask. Well, yeah. I mean, if it's unreasonable, it actually might hurt.

Leah: It's like walking up to somebody and saying, "Can you buy me a pony?" Who are you? I've never met you.

Nick: [laughs] Although, I want to meet that person.

Leah: But also, like, maybe I'll just be like, "So, like, that's wild that you said—sure!"

Nick: Yeah. Like, "Okay, let's go pony shopping!"

Leah: "All right, let's go get that pony."

Nick: Yeah. Where does one buy a pony? I'd have to look that up. I don't know where—can you buy them in stores?

Leah: I mean, we have been looking at pony pictures since that ...

Nick: [laughs] Yes. We've gotten a lot of pony content sent our way.

Leah: And obviously, we would go to a pony rescue. We would go to a pony rescue. But yes, this was a bonkers story.

Nick: This is bonkers. But I love the term "gobsmacked." I mean, what a great expression.

Leah: Fantastic!

Nick: I think we should all try to use it more this week.

Leah: I'm gonna use it today.

Nick: Okay. I mean, I'm sorry about whatever's gonna make you gobsmacked, but I'm excited that you get to use the expression.

Leah: [laughs] Unfortunately, there's a lot of choices. That's what's bonkers about this story, is that it's not even bonkers anymore. And that's bonkers.

Nick: Yeah, I'm gobsmacked that this is not gobsmacking.

Leah: I'm gobsmacked that I've seen this in my own life, so there's more than one person doing it.

Nick: So you out there, have you been gobsmacked by anything lately, or do you have an etiquette crime report for us? A vent, a repent or a question? Please send it to us. Please send it to us through our website, WereYouRaisedByWolves.com. Or you can leave us a voicemail or send us a text message: (267) CALL-RBW. And we'll see you next time!

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!