Taking Flowers From Funerals, Giving Guests Plastic Cutlery, Asking About People's Weight, and More

Nick: Hey, everybody. It's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And it's Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we had so many great questions from you all in the wilderness ...

Leah: [howls]

Nick: ... that we have a bonus episode. So here we go. Our first question is quote, "I recently had a waiter who, after introducing himself to everyone at my table, proceeded to go through the straightforward menu item by excruciating item, and did so with such zeal, such passion that it was basically performance art. As you might expect, this recitation took several minutes, and my companions and I were staring at each other in disbelief the entire time. If I'm found in this situation again, is there a polite way to let the waiter know that I don't really want them to perform the menu for me? To add some additional details, everyone I was dining with had been to the restaurant before and we told the waiter this. The menu is also structured in a very normal way: appetizers, salads, mains, desserts, and offers food that would be incredibly familiar to most Americans."

Leah: I was excited to hear what you were gonna say, Nick, just because ...

Nick: Really? Why? Have you never experienced this?

Leah: I have experienced this, but I am deep down in my bones the kind of person who will just wait it out. And not only will I wait it out, I will assume that their manager is watching so they have to do it. So I will give them everything I got. "Oh! Oh! Delicious!"

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: So I feel like if you told him up top that you've already eaten there ...

Nick: Right.

Leah: You've given all the signs.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I don't need it.

Nick: Mm-hmm.

Leah: They're gonna go into it. I don't have the heart to, like, put my hand out and say, "This is fantastic, but we already know what we want."

Nick: Yeah, this is a little maddening, though. I've experienced this. I mean, it always starts with, like, "Oh, have you been here before?" And no matter what you say, it's either gonna be like, "Oh, well welcome back," or "Welcome in." And then the same speech. So it's sort of like, oh, I don't think you're modifying much for me right now. And when it's a restaurant where it's, like, straightforward, "Oh, this thing here, this is an appetizer. You start with that." You know, it's like, we got it. Like, we're familiar with, like, how things work. And if the menu is so complicated that it does need some explanation, well then okay, but, like, make it as brief as possible. Let's not make it too long.

Leah: I understand why it's maddening, and I've definitely been in this situation. I just personally—this is one of the ones where I'll just be like, I'm gonna listen for five minutes.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, normally, honestly, I would just let it go, especially if you start, like, listing specials and it's sort of like, oh, I'm not interested in that dish. I tune out whatever else went in that dish as you're talking. I think though, if we feel like, oh, this is going on for a while, like, it's been two minutes and we're only now just getting to the entree section, I think we can jump in. We can jump in. Oh, actually, I think we've already decided and we're ready to order."

Leah: But you gotta be ready to order. This is the thing if you're gonna use that one.

Nick: Oh, you mean you weren't ready to order, you just want to cut this person off from talking?

Leah: Yeah, I think that's what's happening. They came over, they're doing the specials. But I mean, I could be reading this wrong, but the group hasn't gotten to settle yet and pick their things. They just don't need help.

Nick: Oh, interesting. Okay, in my mind, I thought, like, oh, we were ready to order, but like ...

Leah: Oh, I think if you're ready to order, there's no problem. You can just be like, "Actually, we're ready to order." You can cut them off. But if you're not ready to order ...

Nick: That's what I was thinking, but like, oh, we're not ready to order yet, and we just don't want to listen to them explain the menu to us. That's what's happening.

Leah: That's a harder one to land. If you—if you're ready to order, you can cut him off. "Oh, no. We—thank you so much. But we are actually ready to order."

Nick: Okay, so the issue here is we just don't want this person talking.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: And we just want to look at the menu in peace.

Leah: I mean, maybe I'm wrong, but that's what I'm reading.

Nick: Yeah. No, I think you're actually right. Yeah. So in that case, yeah, I guess it's a little trickier to cut them off, but I guess do we need to give them our full undivided attention? Like, do we need to actually, like, make direct eye contact? Can we be listening to them as we're perusing the menu? Like, I guess do we feel obligated to focus on them?

Leah: Well, if they're talking about the menu, we can follow along in our menu.

Nick: Right. Because I almost feel like as they're talking, we kind of can ignore what's happening, we can look at the menu for ourselves. And maybe actually, by the time the speech is done, we're actually ready to order. Is that possible?

Leah: I don't know. It's hard to communicate with a group.

Nick: Yes. Yeah, to have that little signal. Because also you don't want to, like, be rude about it.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Like, you don't want to roll your eyes in front of the waiter.

Leah: I also have trouble not giving people my complete attention just because it strikes a chord.

Nick: On an airplane, do you try to be the best passenger while the safety briefing is happening?

Leah: I recently—up until very recently, I was that person. I'm sitting there, I'm focused, and now I'm like, "I can't hold this up for the whole team," you know?

Nick: Okay.

Leah: I'm gonna play my game, read my book.

Nick: But they're like, "The nearest exit may be behind you," and then you turn your head.

Leah: [laughs] Oh, absolutely. I'd find my exit. There it is!

Nick: Actually, I always look to see where my nearest exit is.

Leah: I want to know where it is.

Nick: Because it might be behind you. I'll also count the number of rows that is so that in the dark, I know how many seats to touch before I hit the exit.

Leah: I love that we know this about you.

Nick: [laughs] Well also, I would always keep my shoes on until we hit 10,000ft. Like, I don't need to be running down a tarmac in an emergency evacuation in, like, bare feet. So I keep my shoes on.

Leah: Well, I don't ever take my shoes off, A, and B, I don't fall asleep in case somebody needs me. So ...

Nick: [laughs] Okay, "I'll see you. I never sleep and I'll raise you."

Leah: [laughs] "Hey, Leah. Can you fly this plane?" "No, but I'm awake and I'm gonna give it a shot." [laughs]

Nick: How hard could it be? So back to the restaurant. Yeah, I think there is a polite way to actually interrupt, though, and be like, "Actually, can we pause a moment?" Hmm. Yeah, what's the right phrasing? Maybe it's like a, "Oh, sorry to interrupt. Would you be able to give us a minute while we peruse the menu first and then come back?" I think there's something in that world, right?

Leah: I feel like the dream would be to get that out before they start.

Nick: Yeah, but I mean, how can you anticipate this, unless they come at the table with jazz hands and they're ready to really just give you a show?

Leah: I feel like you could see it coming, you know?

Nick: [laughs] Okay.

Leah: You could see people winding up. "I'm about to give you my thing."

Nick: Hmm, that's true.

Leah: I also—sometimes you're in restaurants where people have to do it because that's the rules.

Nick: Oh, that's a good point. That's a good point. Yeah, you gotta ask if they want guac.

Leah: Like, I used to have to ask about—I used to work at a jazz club, and I used to have to ask about refills. And I used to have to talk about the house wine, regardless of whether or not people had already told me that they don't want refills in the house wine.

Nick: Okay. Yeah, that's awkward then. Yeah. You're like, "Oh, we're not drinking tonight." "Would you like the house wine?"

Leah: "Let me just tell you about the house wine." And I would not do it because I—if people had already told me, but I was multiple times brought up how I should be doing it.

Nick: Okay. I think we actually found another occasion when Leah doesn't follow the rules.

Leah: Well, I just—people don't want to drink, they don't want to have refills. I'm not gonna force it on them.

Nick: No, I think that's totally reasonable. I am just cataloging the number of occasions when Leah is a rule breaker.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: And there's only, like, three things on this list currently, but I'm cataloging it.

Leah: I'm gonna lay awake and think about it all night making a list.

Nick: Okay. So our next question is quote, "Is it acceptable for someone who brought a floral arrangement to a celebration of life to take them back after the service? I thought the arrangements were meant as a gift for the family."

Leah: I also most definitely thought they were a gift for the family.

Nick: Yes, I think that is the idea. Yes, that this is meant to be a gesture of sympathy and comfort for the family, and by removing them just sort of on your own, it does feel like you're actually removing that gesture, like you're—you're taking that sympathy back.

Leah: Yeah. That is what it feels like.

Nick: Right? That's why it, like, catches your eye is like, oh, that's a little problematic. Now I will say very often the family will say, like, "Oh, please take some flowers." Because if everybody brings flowers there's, like, too many flowers. And what are we gonna do with all these flowers? And so very often I think you actually are invited to take some flowers, but you have to be invited to do so.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: I mean, it's similar to, like, wedding flower arrangements where people just steal them off the tables after the event. And it's sort of like, that's not an etiquette rule. You don't just steal people's flowers. Like, you have to be invited to do that.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Right?

Leah: I think we remove nothing. That's a solid—almost like we could—I'm sure there's one time where this is not true. But in general, I feel like we remove nothing from an event that is not our event until we are invited to do so.

Nick: Yeah, that does feel like a good universal rule. I feel like we can say that's sort of definitive.

Leah: Obviously, Jordan almonds. I think you would be happy for me to remove since you have expressed your dislike for them so much that I will take other people's bags of Jordan almonds.

Nick: Um, yes. I mean, guests are invited to take those.

Leah: Yeah, they're for guests.

Nick: So I guess you are considered guest in that. And you could represent multiple guests in your hunt for Jordan almonds.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: But yeah, flowers? Yeah. No, it's—you should leave them unless you're invited. Or if somebody says you can take them. And yeah, to take your own flowers? I mean, it's sort of like, oh, I'm gonna bring a bottle of wine to a dinner party. Oh, we didn't open that wine? I'm just gonna take it back with me.

Leah: And it's also slightly more because it's for a celebration of life.

Nick: That also doesn't sit great.

Leah: Like, people are grieving.

Nick: Yeah. That doesn't feel great.

Leah: No, it doesn't feel great.

Nick: No. So that's your answer there. So our next question is quote, "I have a long-time family friend who is getting married soon. I got a message from my father that he had received a wedding invitation for me from this friend at his house. The thing is, I haven't lived at my parents house for years. I live on the other side of the country now with my husband of 10 years and our multiple children. Am I obligated to RSVP to this invitation which didn't even come to me? I'm not planning to go—it's a five-hour flight away, but I'm hurt that she didn't even bother to check on my address or anything. Even my kids' names are on the RSVP section as 'child.' I'm feeling very frustrated by this, and I want you to affirm that I'm not the one being rude here."

Leah: I don't think you're being rude.

Nick: I don't think you're being rude here, but I don't know if the host is, like, actively being rude either. I'm prepared to say that, like, everybody's sort of doing their best here.

Leah: They might not be doing their best.

Nick: Sort of.

Leah: I think you can be irritated with them, or I think you can have your feelings hurt. Like, they don't have your kids' names, they didn't check what your address is.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And then also in our brain we put away I'm sure they're under a lot of stress. They are trying to do multiple things. So I'm just gonna do a quick RSVP no on the website.

Nick: Right. So to answer the question, do I have to RSVP? Yes, you do. You've received the invitation in some way in some form. And yeah, you just need to say "No, can't make it. All the best on your big day." You don't even need to say that. Just check the box that they've already given you.

Leah: And I think feel free to do a massive eye roll when you do it, just to be like, "Okay, I'm RSVPing to the event you didn't know all our names for." But ...

Nick: But I mean, clearly y'all aren't that close. So I guess—I mean, this relationship is not, like, oh, I'm so hurt that my best friend of 25 years is getting married and doesn't know I don't live at a certain place. Like, this person has lost touch with you, clearly. And it would have been nice had they reached out to you in some form—Facebook, Instagram—"Hey, getting married. Sending invitations. Would love your new address." That would have been nice. I suspect they just had your address in their system, which was your parents address, and they just assumed, like, oh, that's your address, I have your address. And it did not occur to them that, oh, maybe your life has moved on.

Leah: No, I think they were like, "I know she'll get it at that address." I'm sure they know that they don't live at home.

Nick: Or it's that. Yes. Because they do know you have kids.

Leah: They know, they just didn't want to do the next step.

Nick: They didn't want to make the effort to actually verify the address. Yeah. I mean, that's not ideal. That's not ideal. But ...

Leah: So I understand. They're like, they didn't make the effort. I don't want to make the effort. But I think you could just hop on the computer website, say no.

Nick: And that's it.

Leah: And then harbor resentment towards them.

Nick: [laughs] Yeah. Oh, you can definitely just keep this forever. Yeah. Just put that in your pocket. Yeah. Hold it, nurture it, water it. Yeah.

Leah: Be like, "Oh, Sally. She makes no extra efforts."

Nick: And you don't have to send a gift. So that's nice.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: I mean, it would be nice to try and accept this invitation in the spirit in which it was likely given, which was likely, "Hey, long time friend, I'm getting married. It would be nice if you were there." I feel like that was the spirit in which this was meant to be sent.

Leah: Yeah. Sometimes it's nice to, like, find the way to feel better about it so you don't have to carry it around with you.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And I think that's a lovely way, which is 50-50 percent chance of how it was meant.

Nick: Oh, you think the chances are higher that it wasn't meant that way? Like, I'm gonna bother sending you a wedding invitation to your parents house, but, like, I don't really want you there?

Leah: No, the other option is, you know what? I want to be a—I normally am a person who would think that way. That would be like, "Yes, that's how they meant it," feel that way about it.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Wish them well. But the other chance right now is that that person was like, "I feel obligated to invite this person, because I either knew them or I went to their wedding or they're family friends', but I'm not gonna make any effort."

Nick: "And I'm actually going to send an invitation to an address I know is not current in the potential secret hope that it won't get to them.

Leah: That's the other option.

Nick: But then my conscience is clear because I did send something somewhere.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Ooh! Isn't that a darker twist on this?

WLeah: hy am I giving the darker twist?

Nick: I love it!

Leah: How did we switch places?

Nick: Love it. Yeah. I mean, that's definitely a darker, significantly more strategic etiquette 2.0 sort of thing.

Leah: Six months ago, I would have said this person meant it well, they're exhausted, they're doing their best. Just check no, wish them all the best.

Nick: Today?

Leah: You know, when life comes in, and then you think what is this person's motives? [laughs]

Nick: Yeah. [laughs]

Leah: What are these person's motives?

Nick: We could definitely speculate.

Leah: But either way it's still the same thing: I would RSVP.

Nick: Either way, you just go to the website. "Can't make it." No need to insert a little comment in the message box. No gift. Move on with your life.

Leah: You know what you could do? You could say, "Hey, my dad got your invitation. I can't make it. And my—" and then put in parentheticals, "child, child, child, child" since they didn't put their name, "also can't make it. Thank you."

Nick: Okay. Okay. That'll help update their address book.

Leah: [laughs] Obviously. I'm kidding. I just want our letter-writer to feel—sometimes you want to feel cleansed. You want to get it out, so then you can move on.

Nick: Hopefully this little conversation, we actually feel purified.

Leah: [laughs] Yeah, I love that idea that we would—we would want them to feel purified by our ...

Nick: I mean, that's a service we could provide.

Leah: Slightly vindictive ideas.

Nick: [laughs] Works for me. So our next question is quote, "My husband and I often have dinner with close friends in their home and ours. On every occasion, they only offer disposable plastic cutlery. Most recently, the entree was steak, and one steak knife was shared by a table of eight. For so many reasons, I dislike plastic utensils, but especially for anything that needs cutting. This makes me crazy to the point of wanting to bring my own utensils. They do have children, but they are all school aged. Is there anything I can do short of declining their invitations to dine at their home?"

Leah: I have in my memory, I have a movie where a gentleman brings his own utensils everywhere he goes in his front breast pocket.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: And he takes them out and shines them with a napkin. And I thought you could become that person who just brings their own utensils. And then you say, "I'm now a person who brings my own utensils," and then you laugh loudly as if I'm such a card! And then everybody—what are they gonna say?

Nick: "Can I borrow your knife?"

Leah: [laughs] Can I borrow your knife? So you make it about you. "I'm now a person who carries utensils. I'm wild!"

Nick: There was a time in history not too long ago when, like, you actually did bring your own utensils out. Like, it wasn't provided by your hosts. So I guess, you know, maybe we're just a little historical. Although they are providing utensils, they just aren't very good.

Leah: Well, I think our letter-writer doesn't like using single-serve plastics and knives that don't cut.

Nick: Yes. I mean, I wonder if it's actually the single-serve plastics that's really kind of the concern, or it's just like, oh, having to eat a steak with a plastic knife. I guess it's both.

Leah: I think it's both. And that's why they say ...

Nick: "I don't want to eat at their house."

Leah: "For many reasons, I dislike plastic utensils."

Nick: So I guess a host in general should provide the things that a guest needs to eat the food that they're serving as, like, a baseline. And so we are kind of doing the bare minimum required. I mean, it's pretty bold to, like, "Oh, we're having steak tonight and we're only gonna have one metal steak knife for us to share." Like, that's—that's an interesting approach.

Leah: It is interesting to the point where I almost wonder if they're just not—this is just what they do on their own, so they're not fully thinking it through. And you could almost go, "Oh, hey. Can I grab a regular knife?"

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I guess can we ask in, like, a nice polite way? Like, "Oh, hey. Do you have another knife?"

Leah: Because maybe they're just not—you know, they're just not thinking about it because this is what they do when they're alone.

Nick: Oh, do we think they use just plastic all the time in their house?

Leah: Yes, that's what I think.

Nick: Because they don't want to do dishes. Yeah. Yeah, I think if this bothers you and that these are friends, close friends, I think we have a polite-yet-direct conversation. "Hey, Chad and Lisa. Really love what you make—great cooks! Love hanging out with you guys. I just feel like I would love it if we didn't always use plastic. Is that possible?"

Leah: I think you could have that conversation, or you could have a more casual conversation. "Hey, do you mind if I just grab a regular knife real quick?"

Nick: And we assume they have them in the house?

Leah: They must.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: And then they'll go, "Oh, yeah. It's in the drawer under the microwave." Then when you go in there, also grab a fork.

Nick: Okay. Yeah, I guess maybe we could do that. Like, "Oh, would you mind if I use metal utensils tonight?"

Leah: You could start with that. And then if they're like, "Why?" then you have to say the first thing Nick said.

Nick: I guess I would want to have a polite-yet-direct conversation about, like, why are we using plastic? What is that about? Is that about convenience? We just don't want to have to do dishes after we have you over? Is it about, um—not sure what other explanations are.

Leah: It's just it feels a little weird asking somebody why they're doing it in their own house.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, that's true. Okay, so what did we land on then? How did we get out of this?

Leah: The thing is is, like, say I ate with my hands. Say I'm a hand eater.

Nick: Okay? Say hypothetical situation.

Leah: This is very hypothetical.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: You came over. I'd say, "Hey, Nick. I'm a hand eater. We all eat with our hands."

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: We also have utensils. Or even if I didn't say utensils, if you said, "Hey, I love utensils," I'd be like, "Oh, of course." And then I'd get you utensils.

Nick: Right. It'd be like, "Oh, this tapioca is so great, Leah. I would prefer to have a spoon."

Leah: I'd be like, "No problem!"

Nick: Right.

Leah: I think I would rather hear, "May I grab a spoon?" than "I would prefer." Because I don't want you passing judgment on my hand tapioca.

Nick: Right. No, that's fair. Okay, so "May I grab a spoon?"

Leah: "May I grab a spoon?" That's why I think you could say, "May I grab a regular knife?"

Nick: Right. I mean, there is one knife in the house. And then I guess something I wrote down as an idea.—maybe it's not a good one—do we buy them a set of steak knives? Do we buy them cutlery next Christmas?

Leah: My guess is that they have it.

Nick: Yeah, they must have it. Yeah.

Leah: I mean, maybe they don't. The one steak knife being shared?

Nick: Right? There's a lot of unanswered questions here. I mean, that's why I wanted to get to the bottom of, like, why are we doing this, people? Why are we using plastic every time we're over, including when it's actually, like, not convenient at all?

Leah: Yeah, when it's steak.

Nick: And they actually acknowledge that it's not good because, like, oh, we did bring out one metal knife for us to use for steak.

Leah: I think they're probably just not thinking it out because that's what they do as a family. And they're your close friends, so they're just thinking of you as extensions of themselves.

Nick: But I don't get the sense that we're not using real plates. So it's not like a dish thing because we're not, like, eating off of paper plates.

Leah: We don't know.

Nick: I feel like that would have been mentioned.

Leah: I have a new one. I have a new idea.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: So in my car I have, like, a travel utensil, right? It's like a spoon, knife and fork that all fold in.

Nick: I'm familiar with how ...

Leah: Okay.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: And then so how about your—you have this in your car.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: You have two of them, one for you, one for your husband.

Nick: How convenient.

Leah: How convenient! I also keep pepper in there because you never know when you're gonna need some extra ground pepper.

Nick: And you have, like, the long Peugeot, four foot long pepper grinder.

Leah: Yes, I do. I do.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: "Does anybody want ground pepper?" And you never know how long you're at a stoplight. I—right? People in the next—they may be eating a salad in the next car.

Nick: Yeah. If somebody doesn't get that left turn fast enough, you could be there for hours. Yeah.

Leah: Oh, it would be such a fun world if they let me run it. Back to the matter at hand. You have this in the car, you're at the dinner table with your friends. They're using plastic. You say, "Hey, do you mind if I grab some cutlery?" They say, "Oh, we don't have any," and you say, "Oh, actually, I have travel cutlery in the car. I just love eating with metal."

Nick: Okay.

Leah: And then you go to the car and you grab it. Boom!

Nick: Okay. Yeah. That's sort of non-judgmental, value neutral.

Leah: Value neutral.

Nick: It's not about your plastic. It's just sort of a preference.

Leah: How you like to eat.

Nick: Okay. All right. I'm into that. Yeah, okay. I think that actually might thread the needle.

Leah: I'm thrilled.

Nick: Wow! Okay. Leah Bonnema on the board.

Leah: And then also you have cutlery in your car so you don't have to use single-use plastic on the road.

Nick: Sure. Although, I mean, how often is that coming up for you?

Leah: I drive a lot.

Nick: And you're, like, eating things in your car that need forks? I guess so. I don't know why conceiving of this is, like, so difficult.

Leah: I buy things I have to take to a hotel.

Nick: Oh, sure. Okay. As a non-car owner anymore, I mean, it's been a long time since I had a car back. Back when I had a car, power windows were an optional feature.

Leah: [laughs] Well, I mean this might be a perfect item to add to your travel bag that you put into all your other bags. And that way when you're on the subway and you're having a salad, you can just pull it right out.

Nick: Oh, I'm eating salads on the subway. Yeah, that's what's happening. Sure.

Leah: [laughs] Next to somebody clipping their nails.

Nick: Yeah. Actually, I want to have a container that makes it easy to catch nail clippings that I eat out of. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm interested in. So our next thing is a bonkers.

Leah: Bonkers!

Nick: And it's quote, "At the first family gathering after my wedding, my mother-in-law asked how much I weighed. I wasn't prepared for that, so I gave her an honest answer. She made a judgy face and a tsk sound when I told her. This kept happening at family gatherings. After trying various responses such as changing the subject, asking why she was asking, nothing deterred her. I finally thought to ask her, 'Well, what do you think I should weigh?' She replied, 'I think you should weigh 117 pounds,' which was never going to happen, and oddly specific, but good to know. The next family gathering she again asked me about my weight. I said '117,' and kept buttering that dinner roll. She didn't ask as frequently after that, but when she did ask, I always gave the same response. The most memorable time was when I was a few weeks away from giving birth to her grandson. '117' I replied, from my pudgy little pregnant cheeks. Eventually she mostly gave up. Like, years would go by, but my response never changed. She's long gone now, and we had as good a family relationship as two women could, given that she was the type of person who would ask this question, and I was the type of person who would come up with that response."

Leah: Bonkers! Very bonkers.

Nick: Very bonkers. Yeah. Although great etiquette solution.

Leah: A very great—I also love that our letter-writer is like, "We had as good a relationship as we could, considering that we are opposite people." [laughs]

Nick: Yeah, but I mean that is oddly specific.

Leah: 117.

Nick: And I mean, obviously it goes without saying to ask someone how much they weigh and then to judge them for that, and then to keep asking them that and then tell them what you think they should weigh, I mean, none of this is good.

Leah: It's unbelievable. It's—I mean, we don't comment on people's weights.

Nick: No.

Leah: But there's definitely a certain, I would say generation. I mean, I have this person in my family.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I think it was still rude in that generation.

Leah: Oh, it's definitely rude, and I've definitely discussed it in therapy. I mean it's come up. It's in there. But ...

Nick: Yeah. I think yes, there was a generation where this was more common, and hopefully this is becoming less common.

Leah: I also think—there's this funny thing, a comic friend has this joke about how when he was younger, they brought all the kids into a—into a classroom to talk about bullying. And they told them, "Hey, if you don't react, then bullies will eventually lose the thrill of it because they want to get a rise." And he said, "Oh, this is so great, except for the fact that they brought the bullies into the room at the same time so they would learn our strategy," which I thought was hilarious. But in this point, I think that you're sort of—you've taken the steam out of it.

Nick: Yeah. Oh, you've not given this oxygen. Yeah. Which I think is really the best strategy.

Leah: Because obviously, it's inappropriate for her to say, of course it's maddening, but the way you handled it really made me giggle.

Nick: [laughs] Right. 117 while I'm about to give birth. Yeah, brilliant. Slow clap. Well done. So you out there, do you have any bonkers stories for us or an etiquette question, a vent, a repent? We'll take it all, so please send it to us. Send it to us through our website WereYouRaisedByWolves.com. Or you can leave us a voicemail or send us a text message: (267) CALL-RBW. And we'll see you next time!

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!