Loitering Around Toasters, Being Embarrassed by Employees, Picking Strangers' Teeth, and More

Nick: Hey everybody, it's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And it's Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we had so many great questions from you all in the wilderness ...

Leah: [howls]

Nick: ... that we have a bonus episode. So here we go! Our first question is quote, "What is the etiquette regarding a communal toaster? Recently I have found myself at many a breakfast buffet, and it is unclear what the polite thing to do is when waiting for your toast to finish toasting. My impulse is to stand in front of the toaster until my toast is ready, but I don't want to be rude and take up space. On the other hand, if I go and sit down at my table while I wait for the toast to be ready, I don't want to give the impression that I've abandoned my toast and that it's fair game."

Leah: I think this is a great question.

Nick: This is a great question because at first when I got it, I was sort of like, well, I mean, just, like, be near it, but don't, like, be hovering over it. That was, like, my first thought, like, how hard is that? But then I was thinking of, like, oh, there's nuance. So what is your thought?

Leah: Well, my first thought is I love toast, so this is a great question. And I also—that was my first thought. Like, you want to be near because people will take your toast. There are toast thieves.

Nick: Mm-hmm.

Leah: They just think that toast came out and they can grab it.

Nick: Yep.

Leah: No no no no.

Nick: That is not for everybody.

Leah: That's your toast. You don't want to stand directly in front of it because other people gotta put their toast in.

Nick: Right?

Leah: But I like to sort of step back a little bit so that people can come in, but I am within arm's distance. So when my toast comes out—also, you don't want the toast to sit there and then the toast piles back as they come out, you know? You're just removing your toast in a prompt way.

Nick: So related to that, I think there's a difference between conveyor belt toaster and vertical slot toaster.

Leah: Oh, I'm thinking convertible.

Nick: I think the approach may be different.

Leah: I'm convertible. I'm thinking of an open air toaster. I'm thinking of the ...

Nick: Right. More of like the chain hotel put it on the little belt thing.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Right. So for that, it does feel like we do not want to block other people's access to the toast entrance.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So I feel like for that we want to be near, keep an eye on it. We want to make sure we're ready to pounce when it is available. But when it's a vertical toaster, it does feel like maybe we want to be a little closer, right? Because we do not have to allow other people to have access because you are the only user, assuming it's a two-slot toaster. If it's a four slot, I don't know, that's a different conversation.

Leah: Oh, if it's a four slot, all bets are off. I also like to have a prop so people know I'm awaiting toast. I have my little plate out.

Nick: That's good. Yeah.

Leah: So they know I'm waiting.

Nick: I'm primed.

Leah: I'm not just standing there in ...

Nick: In the way.

Leah: Blocking the cereals.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I have a purpose.

Nick: Right. I mean, I guess as a toast observer, I want to know that you're on top of it. I want to know that, like, as soon as that toast is ready, you're ready to roll. I want that vibe from you. So I think yeah, plate in hand, you're ready to pounce.

Leah: And that way people don't have to wonder, "I wonder why they're standing near the fruits," you know? "Oh, they're waiting for toast."

Nick: But yeah, going back to your table? That's a no.

Leah: No, I would not. I think it's interesting that you think that if it's a push down toaster, we would stand even closer.

Nick: Well, for a conveyor belt, we're gonna give some room to allow somebody else to get in there. For the vertical, if it's a dedicated vertical, I'm using the machine only me at this moment. And I'm not blocking anything else—I'm not blocking jam, I'm not blocking butter, and I'm just in the toaster area. I feel like it's okay if I'm directly in front of that toaster. Right?

Leah: And this is just a two-toast toaster.

Nick: Just a two-toast toaster, and I'm just toasting two pieces of toast.

Leah: I'm good with that.

Nick: I think if it's a four slot, I think we'd want to step to the opposite side of where the open slots are to allow somebody to come in on that side with their toast.

Leah: I'm good with that too.

Nick: Right? I would want to identify there's available toast slots for everybody who wants it. I don't want to block the view.

Leah: And I would, as with the conveyor belt toaster, I would have a plate out so people visually see, "Ah, waiting for her toast to pop up."

Nick: Right. Yeah, I don't want anybody to think I'm just loitering.

Leah: I don't want people to think I'm loitering by—maybe I want to steal their toast, you know? No, I put toast in.

Nick: Yeah. Okay, that's a good point. Yeah, you don't want to come across as a toast stealer. Although if you had a plate, you could be a toast stealer.

Leah: I could still be a toast stealer, that's true.

Nick: Right? Yeah, that's the problem. They look just like everybody else.

Leah: They do look just like everybody else.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: Well, I think we—you give a little space. I think—I think this is ...

Nick: I think we really covered it.

Leah: We have a full plan.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: For all the different kinds of toasters.

Nick: [laughs] Are there other kind of toasters?

Leah: I feel like there must be. I mean, there's that kind of toast you use when you're camping where you put it in, like, a ...

Nick: Oh, sure.

Leah: What is that?

Nick: Yeah, a camping toaster, let's call it.

Leah: A camping toaster, and you stick it over the—but then you are actually holding the toast. So ...

Nick: Right. Then it's your toast.

Leah: It will be clear.

Nick: Right.

Leah: It will be clear it's your toast.

Nick: Okay, great. So our next question is quote, "I am the boss at a small organization, and my tiny staff usually does a pretty good job of looking out for each other. But last week, one of my employees—let's call her Lisa—popped into my office to say there was a visitor and asked me if I wanted to say hello. So far, a fairly common occurrence, but when I stepped out, Lisa gestured to our visitor and said to me brightly, 'Do you know who this is?' What? For the record, I did not know who this person was. Fortunately, I immediately dropped dead from shock and embarrassment, as one does in these situations. I drifted off into a soft, warm light where I could hear the voices of loved ones who passed before me, ready to welcome me to eternal, merciful heaven.

Nick: "Unfortunately, Lisa performed CPR, revived me, and as soon as my eyes fluttered open, she picked me up off the floor and asked me again. Yes, Nick and Leah, she repeated her crime—I mean, question. 'Do you know who this is?' I am pretty sure she asked me a total of three times. All I could do was look at our visitor, offer my abject apologies for blanking, and try to move things forward. I'm not wonderful at remembering names and faces, but I don't think that's really the point here. It turns out this visitor had been in an online training I ran a couple days earlier, so I had only 'met' her, quote-unquote, in a tiny two-dimensional window on a computer screen. Obviously, it was pretty awkward for everyone, including our poor visitor. After the visitor left, I immediately told Lisa without emotion, never ask a person, 'Do you know who this is?' Lisa laughed and explained that she panicked because she could not remember the person's name, and was hoping I would, as if we don't have etiquette techniques for this very situation. For one thing, when she came to my office, she could have whispered, 'I'm blanking on the name. Help!' Right? Something, anything. If it were anyone else, I would think they were deliberately trying to put me on the spot and make me look silly, but I think poor dear Lisa is just that daft.

Nick: "Honestly, it has made me question her soft skills and her ability to work with the public. I am so mad at Lisa, but what do I do? Technically, the matter has been addressed, I guess. I'm still not certain she gets it, so do I need to bring it up—without naming names—at a staff meeting and offer a few tricks besides throwing the boss under the bus if you're blanking on a name? And if stuff like this is not obvious to my employee, what other cringe encounters wait behind every door? Do I need to start playing your show loudly in the office? I remain aghast, and eagerly await any words of comfort or wisdom you may have to share."

Leah: What a beautiful letter.

Nick: That is prose.

Leah: Descriptive. I was right there with you, drifting into a warm light, and then being revived by this horrible, anxiety-producing question.

Nick: [laughs] Yeah. No, I really—I really enjoyed the journey that we went on with this, because I feel like I was there and I didn't want to be there.

Leah: [laughs] I did not want to be there at all. Oh my goodness! So stress—I'd be like, "What are you doing, Lisa?"

Nick: So the thing in this letter that really caught my eye, which I think is the most important etiquette topic, is this idea of what else is this person capable of? Because so often you hear the critique of etiquette, which is like, "Oh, what difference does it make if we don't hold a fork correctly, or if we don't pass the salt and pepper shakers together? Like, really, what difference does it make?" But what that says is, like, oh, if you don't know the small stuff, the easy stuff, the low-hanging fruit, what else don't you know? Like, are you gonna be trustworthy with my secrets? Are you somebody I can rely on? Can I trust you around my parents to not say something embarrassing? Like, what are you capable of if you don't know the little stuff? And so I think for me, that part of this letter is really what resonated.

Leah: I, in order, in order, I'll get to the—first off, I feel like when you work—like, she is—our letter-writer's the boss.

Nick: Oh yes.

Leah: So, you know, with your team, if you're on a team, or you're a boss or even if, like, you're out with a friend, but you're—like, you're the person who it's their thing and you're there for support? You fall on the sword. That's how that is. You don't remember a name? "Oh, I'm blanking on your name. Can you tell me?" And then you relay the information to the person who's doing the thing.

Nick: Yes. That would have been a nice way to handle this. Yes.

Leah: And then, of course, there is the "I'm blanking on the name," but you could have just handled that in the moment yourself. And then there's—like, I'll do that with my friends. I'll be like, "Oh, I don't remember this person's name. I'm gonna introduce you." But I'm not—it's not a work situation.

Nick: I mean, I guess one question I have is, like, you were asked this question three times? Like, after you're like, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't remember," why did the visitor not jump in and be like, "Oh, I am such and such." Like, why wasn't that happening?

Leah: I don't think that anybody is talking except for ...

Nick: Oh, Lisa's just rambling on.

Leah: Just keeps asking over and over again. That's what I get.

Nick: All right. [laughs]

Leah: Because our letter-writer is obviously blacking out and then coming to, and probably the—obviously the person waiting is also like, "Oh, I'm mortified!"

Nick: Right.

Leah: And then Lisa's just repeating it over and over again. "Do you know who this is?"

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And then, "Do you know who this is?"

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: "Do you know who this is?"

Nick: Yeah. I mean, obviously Lisa panicked. She panicked here. So yeah, this was the wrong way, but yeah, how do we address this from here? I guess I mean, Lisa is capable of other etiquette crimes, for sure.

Leah: I was thinking in the same vein that you were saying, Nick, that you could have a—in a group meeting, you could say, "Hey, this came up recently where we didn't know the name of somebody, so I thought I would address a few topics that may come up."

Nick: Oh, I like that. Yeah, that's very neutral. That's like, oh, let's turn this into a teaching moment. Okay. Yeah, I think a group etiquette at the office conversation I think is totally allowed, actually quite common in a lot of workplaces. So I think—yeah, I think I would definitely address it. And I think we don't want to name names. Lisa will know who she is when we're talking about it, but yeah, we don't have to call her out in this meeting. And it should probably be an ongoing thing. Like, etiquette is not a one and done. Like, you only have to hear something once and then you get it forever. So maybe you just want to build in, like, five minutes of etiquette chat with every staff meeting.

Leah: Yeah. You could do emails.

Nick: Oh, it's endless.

Leah: Introducing people in the office.

Nick: Well, I mean, it's like our show. You think we're gonna run out of stuff to talk about?

Leah: You could start having people send in anonymous letters at work, and then you could go over them. [laughs]

Nick: Oh, there you go. Yeah, set up—set up an etiquette crime hotline for workers to turn each other in. I mean, that sounds healthy. [laughs]

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: But I think actually, yes, etiquette in the office, I think it is a good idea. Especially, you know, if Lisa's a younger worker, she may not have the life experience to know how to handle every sticky situation.

Leah: And I also get the idea that, like, it's maddening that she just laughed and was like, "Oh!" You know what I mean? Instead of being like—I get the idea of why—I also would still be thinking about it. That's not enough of me that she laughed and explained she panicked, you know? I'd be like, "No, do you get what you just did to me?"

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I don't think Lisa gets it. Yeah. I mean, I think that's a fair read.

Leah: No, she definitely doesn't.

Nick: And I don't think Lisa understands that now everything about her is now called into question.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: Like, all of her judgment. Like, honestly, if there was going to be a client meal like, "Oh, we have a client coming into town, we gotta take them out to dinner. I'm only gonna bring a handful of my employees to come with me." Lisa, I don't think would make that cut.

Leah: I—you know, I just had one quick idea.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: A quick idea of how our letter-writer could set herself free.

Nick: Oh, yes. How can she liberate herself from this?

Leah: I was thinking—I've thought before that, you know, when somebody does something where I'm like, "How do you not know this? How is this not something?"

Nick: Right. "What is wrong with you?"

Leah: They just haven't been presented that in life yet, and I am apparently the person who is first presenting them with, and so that's what it is. And you are the person who's gonna get to show these people how we introduce people.

Nick: [laughs] I mean, that is such a beautiful, such a lovely way to think about it. I think me personally, I don't want to be the person to have to teach you this. Don't put this on me. Don't make me be the first person to experience this etiquette crime from you and has to be the one to tell you no. But what a gift.

Leah: I don't know, sometimes you gotta think of things in a different way, just so it doesn't wake you up in the middle of the night.

Nick: Yeah. No, I mean, I get it. Yeah, reframing it. That'll help you feel better about it. Yes, you are paying it forward so that this doesn't happen to the next person, and so you are helping society by trying to nip this in the bud. Okay. I mean, that's very nice but would not set me free.

Leah: It's just like picking up cans when you're outside walking and you see them on the street, and you think, "I didn't drop that can."

Nick: It's just like that? Yeah.

Leah: And you think, "I want to leave it nice."

Nick: Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so it's a lavatory on an airplane. You're just wiping that basin as a courtesy to the next passenger. Okay.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] So our next question is quote, "I'm always uncertain on how to act when I'm sitting in the aisle seat on an airplane. Once we're pulled up to the gate and can remove our seat belts, many people jump up and grab their luggage, stretch, et cetera while there's still going to be a bit of a wait to get off the plane. I don't have a problem with this as I get nervous about struggling to get my luggage when it comes my turn to start exiting the plane, so it's nice to grab the bag early to avoid this spectacle. However, is it correct or required for the aisle seat to stand as soon as we are free to remove seat belts? I feel awkward remaining seated as I feel like my entire row is now captive until I decide to stand. Recently, I did this and was shocked when the passenger in the row across from me proceeded to discuss how rude it is to stand, and how it is just terrible etiquette to get up before the line starts to move at your location. I was so embarrassed because I was really standing to avoid the baggage issue and to give my roommates some breathing room while we waited, but when these people were just going on and on about how rude it is to stand, I didn't know what to do. What is the right thing for the aisle seater to do?"

Leah: I'm very upset with these people who were talking about you in front of you.

Nick: So rude!

Leah: So rude!

Nick: I mean, not subtle people. Not subtle.

Leah: I actually had somebody recently talking about me when I was there.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: And I looked directly at them and I said, "Sorry, what?"

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: Because it's like they want to be able to talk about you, but then not have a conversation. It was an audience member at a comedy show. Because it's like, if you want to talk about it, let's talk about it. I thought I was being polite. You don't like it? Let's have a conversation. But don't talk about me when I'm right there.

Nick: Yeah. Oh, that actually is super rude.

Leah: It's so rude!

Nick: You know, how we have that running list going of just, like, some of the most rude behaviors that there are? I think that needs to be on the list.

Leah: Absolutely on the list.

Nick: The "I'm gonna talk about you in front of you, but not to you." That I think is definitely on the top 10 list.

Leah: And the reason I address it now is because it's happened to me more than once, and the times that I didn't address it, I ended up feeling bad about myself.

Nick: Yeah. And you're not being the rude one there.

Leah: And I'm not being the rude one. So now I just—sorry, what? And then it's like, "Say it to me."

Nick: So that aside, because I mean, that was rude, these passengers are rude regardless of whether or not what you were doing was correct or not correct, this is not how we handle it. So that's rude full stop, no questions asked. Now I think a good question is: what is the aisle person's responsibility? When should you stand? How should that go? I think this is a very legitimate question, and I don't think there's necessarily a right or wrong answer. So let's talk through it.

Leah: No, this is a hard one because at the same time, it's so—like, if we all remain completely seated and didn't even stand up to get our bags until it was our row, it would take—you know, it's sort of like when you say you want somebody to know their order when they get to the front of the line, you should be ready to move when it's your time to go.

Nick: Yeah, I think that is actually my big note for this, which is just like, if you're in the aisle and I see you in the aisle, it's okay if you're seated, but I just want to know that you are ready. As soon as it's your chance, you are on it. You're paying attention, you're like, you're not on your phone, you're not sending an email, like, you are paying attention, you are ready to roll, so you aren't gonna hold me up. So I just want to know that from you. So if you want to be seated or you want to stand, like, either way, it's cool with me just knowing that, like, there won't be a split second where you're actually making me wait longer than actually have to. And so I think that's kind of where I'm at.

Leah: Also, a lot of people stand up because their legs are just tight from sitting for that long.

Nick: I stand up.

Leah: I always stand up.

Nick: Am I doing a rude thing? Why don't you tell me I'm doing a rude thing, person across the aisle? I would love for you to tell me that.

Leah: [laughs] I would love for them to tell you that too, and then for us to get it on video.

Nick: [laughs] I would do a, "Do you know who I am?"

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: I would absolutely do that.

Leah: Or you'll be like, "I can't wait to talk about you on this week's podcast."

Nick: "Can't wait to discuss this to a global audience. Your name please?"

Leah: "Your name please." I'll just look it up on the manifest. I also—what I really feel for our letter-writer, this feeling of being anxious because you know when it's your turn to go, it takes a second to grab the bag.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And I think we have to let go of that because it takes a second to grab your bag. You're obviously ready to go.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: And I understand that this—I think, it's the same anxiety I feel when I'm at a red light and I'm turning right, and I like to wait until the light to go green unless there's a wide space of cars I don't like to squeeze in. And then in LA, if you don't immediately just take a right, even if cars are coming, the person behind you starts honking. So now I think about it in advance. I don't want to be at the front. The people behind me are gonna get upset. Let them get upset. It takes you a second to get your bag.

Nick: Yes. I don't think we want to necessarily be worried about other people's impatience.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: And if somebody is impatient and is being unreasonably so, then that's not your problem. I mean, I think you need to take the amount of time that is required to get your bag out of the bin, and that's however long that takes. You can't make that faster, and so that's just what that is and somebody behind you will need to wait for you to do that. That's just the deal. And so I guess don't worry about it. I think we want to try to be as efficient as possible. You know, let's not, like, make it longer than it needs to be, but it's however long it takes. So it is what it is.

Leah: Because I'm sure our person's ready. It's not like they're like, "Oh, I just put my phone away and I'm still looking at this thing." They're—you just—and however long it takes to get down your bag, that's not a problem.

Nick: Yes. And if you need more time, you can always say, "Oh, you go ahead." You can let someone pass you. That's totally fine if you just want more time. So I think for this, I think standing is totally fine. I don't—I don't think standing is a problem. I do think we want to wait until the row ahead of us has, like, left before we push ahead. So I think we definitely want that to happen. We want to wait until our row is sort of like the next to leave, but the idea that you have to sit in your seat quietly? I mean, I don't know where that rule comes from.

Leah: Somebody made it up. Also—I mean, also a lot of people stand up and they get into the aisle and they pull their bags down and then they have a backpack on and are pushing into the people seated down.

Nick: Sure.

Leah: That's not good, but that's not what our letter-writer is doing.

Nick: Right.

Leah: And obviously, this is—there are people who are tight on a connection, and I think you could just announce that, "Oh hey, I'm super tight on my connection. May I go in front of you?" I'd pull down my bag.

Nick: For sure. If that's actually true. There are people in the world who do use deceit to get off an airplane sooner than they should.

Leah: I don't believe that.

Nick: [laughs] No, it's very—it's a known thing. It's a real problem out there. But yes, as long as we're using honesty, yeah, if you have a short connection, like, obviously let that person off, you know? Like, we all know what it's like to try and connect with a tight connection and, like, oh, isn't that anxiety? So ...

Leah: So much anxiety. I've definitely had people try to push past me that were just—obviously didn't want to wait their turn. And that's really annoying. That's on my list of, like—it's just like, come on!

Nick: Come on, people. Yeah.

Leah: Was one person worth it? You got ahead one? That's not even a second less. You feel better now?

Nick: You know, some people just like to win.

Leah: Little do they know they're gonna lose in the long run.

Nick: So our next question is quote, "My husband and I have a disagreement when it comes to using our coffee machine that uses K-Cups. Is it the responsibility of the person who just made coffee to grab the old cup and dispose of it, or the next person to use it to grab the old cup and put in a new one?"

Leah: I felt very one way about this.

Nick: I did too. But first, I love that A) we get to settle a disagreement, so I'm very excited about that. More questions like this please.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: And I also like that our letter-writer does not indicate which team they're on. Very often, we try to do, like, the thing that supports our letter-writer. You know, like, we try to take their side if we can. We don't know what side they're on.

Leah: I do like that very much.

Nick: So that's fun. But yes, it does feel like the answer is super obvious here.

Leah: Imagine we say that we both think is obvious and then we have opposite opinions.

Nick: [laughs] Well, I think what's obvious is you leave it the way you want to find it, so after you're done making coffee, you deal with your own K-Cup.

Leah: A hundred percent agreed.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: A hundred percent agree.

Nick: Right? And so then I was thinking, like, okay, clearly there is somebody else in this scene who feels differently. And I was trying to think, like, in what world are you justifying leaving a K-Cup and getting moldy in this machine? Like, how is that working for you? Like, what is the justification?

Leah: I don't know what the justification is because I came in firmly on the other side.

Nick: No, but can we not try to think on the other side? Like, what are they thinking? How are they justifying why they're leaving this in?

Leah: You have to open it anyway to put in a new one.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: It pops open—it pops open.

Nick: Right.

Leah: Right? After you—and then you put in the new one and you close it and then it warms. I don't remember the exact—but it has to—you pop open, you have to close it. So maybe they think you have to pop open and close it anyway.

Nick: Right. So because it's now being popped open, we're only doing that once rather than twice. Okay. But then all right, I'm the second person to use this machine. I've made coffee. Am I gonna leave my K-Cup in until tomorrow when you make coffee the next day? Is that the natural logic here? It would be.

Leah: Unless you're making coffee all night long, that is the natural logic.

Nick: Right. So then I guess the question is, like, do you want a K-Cup sitting in there for 24 hours? And I've seen K-Cups get a little moldy and, like, that's not fun.

Leah: I got it.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: When you open it and close it, I think the water thing pops open in the back.

Nick: Oh, I've seen those machines. Okay. All right, go on.

Leah: That's usually like the single serve at, like, a hotel.

Nick: Right.

Leah: You open the K-Cup thing, you close it, the water thing opens, so you're following the order. Then you pour the water in, then you close that, then you heat. So maybe they're thinking, "I don't want to pop the water thing. I'm just gonna wait 'til you gotta pop it.

Nick: I see. Okay. So does it depend on the model of machine? No, I'm not gonna go down this line. No, I think ...

Leah: No, I still think it's the other one. I'm just playing the ...

Nick: Oh, you were—I was being lulled. I was being lulled into this, but no. No, I think we want to leave it the way we found it. It's sort of like the ice cube tray. You know, if we use the last of the ice, then let's refill it before we put it back in the freezer.

Leah: Definitely.

Nick: Right? So I feel like that's—yeah, I think that's what we're gonna do here.

Leah: I mean, maybe there's a whole other argument for leaving it in that we don't know about, but I can't think of—besides the thing popping open. Maybe we're worried that the K-Cup machine itself is lonely without a K-Cup in it.

Nick: Oh! That's—okay. Okay. Yes. No, I think this is a working theory. Yeah.

Leah: It feels like it's not ...

Nick: It's filling that void.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: That we all have. Yeah. If only I could fill my void with a K-Cup. [laughs]

Leah: It's like, "Where is my K-Cup? I am not whole."

Nick: Oh, K-Cup as a metaphor.

Leah: Mmm!

Nick: Oh! Okay. All right, well then letter-writer, that's your answer.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So our next thing is a Bonkers.

Leah: Bonkers!

Nick: And it's quote, "I am in a social club at my university, and we recently all went out to dinner as a group. It's a big group, and I'm not close friends with everyone, but we're all friendly. After dinner, we were waiting together at the bus stop and just chatting. One of the girls next to me—let's call her Lisa—is new to the group and is one of the members that I'm not close to. I've maybe spoken with her twice. As we're waiting and talking, Lisa turns to me privately and says, 'I just wanted to let you know you have something on your tooth right there.' I thanked her for letting me know, tried to quickly wiggle it free, then asked her if I got it. Lisa waited a beat and then said, 'Oh, let me just get it.' She then proceeded to try and pick my teeth with her nail. I was flabbergasted! This isn't something I would expect from a close friend of many years, let alone a relative stranger." Bonkers!

Leah: [laughs] Bonkers.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: I could just imagine our letter-writer, like, when we realize what's happening, like, your eyeball—you know, you're just like, "Oh, you're sort of like ..."

Nick: Like, "You're coming in."

Leah: You're still keeping your mouth open, but you're like, "What is happening?"

Nick: I mean, whoa! I mean, how—how wonderful. What a wonderful bonkers story. [laughs]

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: I mean, this is so great. I mean, this is terrifying, but what a great thing for our show.

Leah: [laughs] You're like, "Did you just touch my mouth?"

Nick: Right. Or even if you didn't make it that far, "Did you just attempt to touch my mouth?"

Leah: [laughs] Oh, they picked her teeth with their nail. That was a full ...

Nick: Oh, yeah. I guess that is the conjugation there. Yeah, "she proceeded." Yes. Yeah, "proceeded." That sounds like she was successful.

Leah: She got in there.

Nick: Wow! I mean, wow. Well I mean, that'll teach you to dine with this person again.

Leah: [laughs] I just—it's that visual when you're like, something's happening that you're sort of can't believe it's happening. So you're just sort of like—and then there's just a stranger picking your teeth.

Nick: I mean, the tooth thing, though, also, that is, like, next level. Like, a level below this would be like, "Oh, there's, like, something on your cheek. And as a stranger, I'm gonna reach out and, like, brush something off of your person." But then now you're in my mouth? I mean, that's a whole other level.

Leah: You're like "Are we dating?"

Nick: Are we birds? Are we ...

Leah: [laughs] That's also what I was thinking of. Now we're birds.

Nick: This is wild. This is totally bonkers.

Leah: No, I just wish we could access security cameras, because I'm sure that our letter-writer had an incredible facial expression.

Nick: But also, Lisa, what is going on in Lisa's head where she's like, "You know what's a good idea with this person I don't know that well? I'm just gonna pick their teeth?"

Leah: Also, people don't worry about germs at all. Like, not ...

Nick: That is the least of my problems in this story.

Leah: Oh, really? That's my top problem.

Nick: Yeah, I actually wasn't even thinking of the germ thing. I was just thinking of, like, your finger is in my mouth and you're scraping my tooth. Like, that part is what bothers me. Yeah, whether or not there's bacteria also, like, oh, that almost feels immaterial. It's just like, oh, you're scraping my tooth.

Leah: I think all of it's ...

Nick: All of it's a problem.

Leah: All of it's very odd.

Nick: Yes. So thank you for sharing this wonderful Bonkers story. And you out there, do you have a Bonkers story for us, or an etiquette question, a vent, a repent? Send it to us! Send it to us through our website WereYouRaisedByWolves.com. Or you can leave us a voicemail or send us a text message: (267) CALL-RBW. And we'll see you next time!

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!