Keeping Hot Sauce for Guests, Decanting White Wines, Hanging Coats on Airplanes, and More

Nick: Hey, everybody. It's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And it's Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we had so many great questions from you all in the wilderness ...

Leah: [howls]

Nick: ... that we have a bonus episode. So here we go. Our first question is quote, "Is it rude to not keep hot sauce as a condiment when having guests over? I have a very sensitive stomach and do not tolerate spicy food, so I don't know why I should spend money to keep hot sauces in the pantry that I will not use otherwise. I also sometimes do not appreciate when I make food and guests immediately want to put hot sauce that, to my mind, does not go with the dish before even tasting it."

Leah: I feel like before we've touched on when people start salt and peppering foods without tasting it.

Nick: Yes. And there's two questions here. Yes.

Leah: There's two. These are—these are two solid questions.

Nick: Very solid, but very different. So yeah, with the, like, oh, should people season their food without tasting it first at a dinner party in front of the person that made the food? Uh, I would think twice. It definitely sends a signal.

Leah: So Dustin notices this. He's brought it up to me before when people salt and pepper things before ever tasting it.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: That he's cooked or other people have cooked. I would never notice. I don't have any feelings about it. It doesn't in any way—if you want to—maybe you're, like, just huge on salt. If you want to dump a half—half a pound of salt on your food, it's none of my business.

Nick: Yes. I mean, I think that is a nice, polite way to handle it. But yeah, I mean, I feel like you're allowed to be bothered by this. I think the polite host doesn't say anything. Like, we don't call out our guests who do it, but you're allowed to note it. Sure.

Leah: I think it's nice for people to try the food as it was served to them.

Nick: Yes, I think that is always a nice move. And then I think I would think twice before I reseasoned it, you know? Because it will send a signal. So the question is: is the signal worth it? Like, is this food so horrible, or will the host not mind, you know, Leah Bonnema having me over, and she won't care whatever that it's a bland food and ...

Leah: I'm not serving you bland food, let me tell you that right now.

Nick: [laughs] That's true. Yes. No, I feel like that is the opposite of what's gonna happen in your house. So you're gonna have to dial it down.

Leah: That's what you would have to be—I should be like, "You might want to try that before you—just because it's already up there."

Nick: Yeah. This food is at an 11.

Leah: Do you want to add some yogurt to it?

Nick: [laughs] So I feel like you just have to decide. Like, if your boss invites you over to their house and the food is horrible and bland, you know, you might want to tough it out rather than sending the signal that you don't like their food, you know, because it can send that signal.

Leah: I also think we could think of it when people add things that they just love that thing. They put—it has nothing to do with the food itself. Like, I love pepper. I love pepper. I'm gonna put more pepper on it.

Nick: Fair enough. So to the first part of this question, should you have condiments in your house for guests if you don't use those condiments?

Leah: A) I love how I'm just split decision today.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: I mean, this is where I'm at emotionally. A) It's your house.

Nick: Sure.

Leah: B) When I have people—I don't drink milk. When I have people who are coming over that are spending the night, I buy milk.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: Probably they want some milk in their coffee. I just think it's nice to have the choice. Maybe they're milk people, and they want a little milk in their coffee when they wake up.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I think that is a nice conscientious host move, and yeah, do you have to have hot sauce in your house? No, you're not required. Etiquette does not require you to have a full pantry of anything. But it is nice if you think your guests might like something, or it will enhance their comfort or enjoyment. Hot sauces do last a while, I think. I think the shelf life is probably pretty good.

Leah: I think it's decades.

Nick: Right? Does it go bad?

Leah: I don't actually think it goes bad.

Nick: I mean, don't quote us on that, everybody.

Leah: Do not quote us on that.

Nick: Do not eat hot sauce from ten years ago. But it is a nice move. Like, if you were coming over to my house, I would make an effort to have the Topo Chico mineral water because I know that's a brand of mineral water you like. And I don't necessarily drink that myself but, like, I know you like it. And so, like, why not?

Leah: Which would be very lovely of you.

Nick: And if you have me over, you of course are gonna import some Pierre Hermé creme brulee macarons for me. I mean, obviously.

Leah: Of course I am. Or at least a jar of Nutella. I'd be like, "Would you like some Nutella, Nick?"

Nick: I'd be like, "I mean, it's not Pierre Hermé creme brulee macaron imported from Paris, but it'll do. But it is nice to, like, you know, have something that your guests like. And if you have friends over and you know that they are hot sauce people and these are regular guests in your house, I think it would be nice. I think it'd be nice.

Leah: I'm trying to think of the other things I always have when people come over.

Nick: I mean, if you actually were coming over, I would have, like, candy corn and Jordan almonds and ...

Leah: [laughs] Just you're like, "Here comes my friend who loves to ruin her teeth, and ..."

Nick: [laughs] Well, you're—you're the one who likes Jordan almonds.

Leah: I know!

Nick: If you're wondering who out there eats Jordan almonds, you're like who at the wedding afterwards picks up everybody's Jordan almonds in little mesh bags ...

Leah: Here she is.

Nick: ... that nobody wanted because who wants Jordan Almonds? Oh, I'm gonna get letters. I'm gonna get letters. [laughs]

Leah: I think it would be interesting to see if the other people who like Jordan almonds are also people who like candy corn, because they're both very divisive.

Nick: Oh!

Leah: And I happen to like them. I don't like Jordan almonds to the veracity of which I like candy corn.

Nick: I see. Okay. But yeah, it would be interesting to see if people who have contrary candy preferences ...

Leah: Yes.

Nick: ... if they have those preferences across the board.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Interesting! Okay. Well, I'm sure I'm gonna hear from people who love Jordan almonds. But if it were me and if you were having a wedding, I think you can seriously eliminate that item from your budget, because I think the number of people who actually like Jordan almonds is much smaller than you think.

Leah: Now I'm just gonna have a wedding to only serve Jordan almonds.

Nick: [laughs] Oh, I'm getting so many letters.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So our next question is quote, "This morning, I placed a pickup order from a common coffee chain before work. When I arrived to pick up my drink, I saw a member of my team also waiting to pick up theirs. I greeted this person, picked up my order and said, 'I'll see you in the office' in a polite and cheery tone. Should I have waited with my team member for her order to arrive and then walk to the office together? If it makes a difference, I am her direct supervisor."

Leah: I feel like you handled it perfectly.

Nick: Yes. Yeah, I think this was okay. And yes, I do think it makes a difference being her supervisor. Yes.

Leah: Yeah, because I feel like if it was my super—although it does make a difference, but I don't—this would be me if I was the one waiting. If I was the one who picked up, I saw the person then I go, "Oh!"—whatever the greeting is. And then I think, "Does that person want to be left alone, or do they want me to stay?"

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: You know, because it's not just if you want to be left alone or you want to stay, but then you're going into your head like, "Do they have a phone call that maybe—" I don't want—you know, all those wheels would start turning.

Nick: Well, I think as a supervisor, I feel like my employee does not want to walk to the office with me. Like, let's just, like, let them have another 10 minutes of peace before they get to the office and, like, let's just, like, let them have it. And that's what I would think as a supervisor. As somebody lower on the totem pole and my boss walks in, I will absolutely wait for you. Yes, I will definitely show you that courtesy and not just, like, dash and be like, "Bye, see you in the conference room." I would definitely wait because I think that would be courteous.

Leah: What if your supervisor wanted their—their five minutes as well?

Nick: Yeah, well then the supervisor could say, like, "Oh, don't wait for me. I'll see you back in the office."

Leah: Oh, okay.

Nick: I think that's how we would handle that.

Leah: Or you could say, "Oh, great to see you. Should I wait?"

Nick: Um ...

Leah: "Do you want to walk back to the office together?"

Nick: Oh, okay. Yeah, that feels okay. Does that not feel okay? No, that feels fine. Yeah, I kind of like that.

Leah: Yeah, because then you don't have to be like, "No, don't wait." You could be like, "Oh, no, go ahead. I have to make a phone call."

Nick: Although can you ever ask like, "Oh, do you want me to wait" in a way that doesn't make it sound like you really want the answer to be no? You know, there's those questions where it's sort of like I'm gonna ask, but we all know that, like, what I'm really asking is for you just, like, to let me go.

Leah: Oh, well, I would be afraid that they didn't want me to wait, and then I'm waiting and then they're like, "Ugh, I didn't want to walk with Leah."

Nick: Right. Oh, this question got a little trickier.

Leah: It is trickier when you start worrying about both sides. That's what I like to do is you gotta worry about both sides. You can't just worry about one side.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: You gotta worry about everything at the same time, and then have that crush you slowly.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: But I do think that our letter-writer handled it perfectly.

Nick: Yes, I think this is totally fine. I think it is fine just to see somebody back in the office because it is sort of running into somebody. It's just like running into somebody outside of the office. And wherever that happens, I don't think we necessarily have to wait for them to complete their chore. It's similar to, like, leaving the office together and walking out of the building. I think a lot of people are like, "Oh, I'm done with my workday. I don't want more small talk with a coworker as I'm walking to the subway," right? I feel like a similar parallel.

Leah: But I would just ask. That way I didn't feel anxious, and that's "Do you want to walk to the subway together?"

Nick: Well, but then it's like, how am I supposed to answer that? Like, "No, I'd rather be left alone, even though we're gonna be walking the same five blocks together."

Leah: Well, I would then be like, "I have to call my mom," or whatever. I always like ...

Nick: Right. We have to make some excuse, right?

Leah: We don't have to make an excuse. I always schedule my phone calls for, like, the 10 minutes I have free.

Nick: I see.

Leah: So if I had to do something during that time, I would just tell them. And if I didn't, I would just walk with them.

Nick: Okay, fair enough. So then I guess it's about asking. We've decided that the best thing to do is ask. Like, "Oh, do you want me to wait for you, or should we walk back to the office together?

Leah: But I think as the supervisor, this is the way to handle it.

Nick: This is the way to handle it. Yes. So as a supervisor, you just say goodbye.

Leah: And then I also think that if you're—it's your supervisor, but you're walking back to the office and you really want to walk back to the office, just walk back to the office.

Nick: "See you back at the salt mine."

Leah: Yeah. And then, you know, in a cheery voice.

Nick: Yeah. Tone is key.

Leah: Because everybody knows that when you're going in between errands you're doing—that's when you're doing your emails, you're checking your Instagram.

Nick: Right.

Leah: It's you time.

Nick: Yeah, not on company time. Right.

Leah: Yeah, this is the you time.

Nick: Okay, then that's what it is.

Leah: That's what I think.

Nick: Okay. No, I think this makes sense.

Leah: Okay, great.

Nick: Great. So our next question is, quote, "Can I put Riesling wine in a decanter?"

Leah: I'm a wild woman and I say you can put anything in anything that you want. Live your life.

Nick: I mean, I wondered why we got this question, which was just this. There was, like, no context around it. There was no, like, "Hey, how are you?" It was just like just this question. And I wondered if this was like a trick question or, like, where this came from, because I think a lot of people hearing this question would be like, "No, you don't put white wine in a decanter. Like, you put red wine in a decanter but, like, not white wine." And so I was wondering, like, oh, are they trying to trick me? But here's the deal. So you are correct. I feel like you can do whatever you want. I'm not the boss of you. When it comes to wine, do what you like. I mean, that's the rule with wine. If you want white wine with steak and you like that pairing, then have at it. Like, there is no rule that says you can't have that. If you like it, you like it.

Leah: It's your house!

Nick: Even if you're in a restaurant. If you want white wine with a steak in a restaurant, and that's how you like your wine and steak paired, have at it. Like, wine is about whatever you enjoy, and if you enjoy it in a certain way, then no one can take that from you. Now why we use decanters? We often use decanters in red wine, especially, because there can be sediment in a bottle of wine, and so a decanter can help with that. A lot of wines do benefit from a little more oxidation, and so decanters have a very wide surface area when you pour wine into it, and so it allows more contact with the air, which can allow molecules to change. It also helps with temperature because decanter glass is usually much thinner than a wine bottle glass. It's easier to warm wine up or cool it down in a decanter. You know, if we put a decanter in an ice bath, it'll actually chill it faster or warm it up faster. You know, physics. And so that's why we would use a decanter. Now white wines can benefit from these same things. White wines can have sediment. It does happen. White wines can also benefit from some oxidation.

Leah: Let it breathe!

Nick: Let it breathe. Yeah, let it breathe.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: And white wines also are often actually served too cold. I would say most sommeliers probably say that in the United States we serve our white wine way colder than it should be, which is why a lot of people find, like, oh, white wine is so acidic. And it's sort of like, yeah, you're only gonna get acid notes in very cold wine. If you brought it up a few degrees, you get more floral, you get more fruity, you get a little more notes above all that acid. And so, you know, if you don't like white wine, you know, get it a little warmer and you actually might enjoy it. So Riesling, actually some people do decanter Rieslings. It is a thing that happens, so you can do it. Yeah, have at it.

Leah: It's America, baby. Do what you want.

Nick: Yeah. USA! USA! [laughs] One thing I did read: people do say that wine with a screw top, it does have some property where because oxygen can't get into the bottle, like, at all with some of these screw tops, there is a process where the top smells on a bottle of wine that hasn't had any oxygen contact, will smell a little bit like a match that was just struck.

Leah: Hmm.

Nick: And decanting can actually help with this because it actually allows that sort of to air out, and then that goes away and then you get the rest of the wine. So white wines, it is possible.

Leah: I love it!

Nick: Right? So our next question is quote, "My husband and I decided to try a new restaurant in a nearby town that a famous local chef just opened. I went with the fish, which was delicious but not exactly what I was in the mood for, ao I ate just a small amount and decided to take the rest home. Our server was attentive and professional, but a tad distracted as I had to remind her to bring me my doggy bag. There was a well-known musician at an adjoining table, and he was getting most of the attention from our server. When she brought my fish, I noticed it was very light, so I opened the box and it was not my fish. It was a much smaller end piece, which was actually the part I ate. I told her I got the wrong box and she said no, it was the right one. I was very pleasant and I said it wasn't, and she said it was 100 percent my fish, so I just left but was disappointed. The entree was expensive, and I wasn't about to eat someone else's leftovers, although the cat did enjoy it. Do you know what happened here?"

Leah: I love the final question. "Do you know what happened here?"

Nick: [laughs] Yeah.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: You got someone else's fish.

Leah: You got someone else's fish because those—she wasn't paying attention, and then she didn't want to fix it and just doubled down on her incorrect answer.

Nick: Yep. So that's what happened here, yeah. So what do we do about it? I guess that's the question.

Leah: I mean, we've already left.

Nick: Yes. So we can't—we can't fix it in the moment. But if we were there, what are other things we could have done?

Leah: I mean, we would—it seems like we would have to have gone in for a third time. "I'm 100 percent sure this isn't my fish." And that feels ...

Nick: Ooh, that's a little aggressive.

Leah: Right? Doesn't that feel aggressive? I'm just throwing out the things. We've already asked twice.

Nick: But I mean, I think the move would be like, "Oh, I actually feel like this is the piece I ate, and so this can't be my fish. Would it be possible to double check in the kitchen to see if there's another box?" I feel like that phrasing, "Would it be possible?" And not blaming anybody, not accusing anybody, but like, "Oh, would it be possible to double check the kitchen to see if there's another box there?"

Leah: I love that one. I also love maybe if you stood up and you said, "Did anybody else not get their fish? I think it's switched."

Nick: [laughs] Okay.

Leah: And then just be like, "I'll handle it myself. Thank you."

Nick: "I got it. Don't worry about it." Yeah. Yeah I mean, you just have to decide how aggressive do you want to be? Because, like, this is a time when you would get a manager involved, hypothetically. Like, "Oh, can I speak to your manager?" Which I feel like is something we often want to avoid escalating to that point.

Leah: I mean, I've spent my entire life avoiding it. So ...

Nick: You've never actually said that phrase, "I want to speak to your manager?"

Leah: Never in my life, no.

Nick: Can you even say it now? Can you even actually form those words?

Leah: No.

Nick: Actually, try it. Leah, repeat after me. "I would like to speak to your manager."

Leah: "I have no interest whatsoever in speaking to your manager. Either we can solve it together or I'm just never coming back again."

Nick: But you really can't say it. Yeah, like you're actually ...

Leah: I could say it, but I don't want to.

Nick: I see. Okay. I don't know if you can say it.

Leah: I don't know if you think that you're gonna get me to say it by saying "I don't know if you can say it."

Nick: I guess you can't. Okay. Reverse psychology.

Leah: I guess I can't. [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] Okay. But that would be your choice. Basically being like, "I can see that we've reached the end of the road in our conversation, and so I feel like maybe I should continue this conversation with somebody else who is your manager." Like, that would be the move. Obviously, not phrased in that way, which is super aggressive, but that would be the sentiment if you really want to leave with your fish. But chances are they threw it away. Like, your fish is gone. It's not happening.

Leah: No. Somebody else in that restaurant has your box with your fish. And I would just walk around with my box. "Can you just check your box really quick?" That's what I would say.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: I'm kidding. I think that what Nick said was great, which was, "Oh, I actually just ate the end, so I'm sure it's not. Could you just—maybe just double check for me?"

Nick: Yeah. "I feel like just let's do a—just a real quick triple check, just a third time just to cover our bases because I really don't feel like this is mine because I ate this part already." And if they want to, like, triple down and be like, "No, I insist that this is your fish," well then we just leave it because, like, that's the end of it. That's the level of service that we're gonna get.

Leah: I mean, we could always, when we got home, send an email if they did that and say, "Hey, this is my first time going." I mean, I'm not saying—I'm just throwing—I'm just trotting out ideas.

Nick: [laughs] Yes, I was going to say like, oh, that's not a thing that's gonna happen in your life.

Leah: "And, you know, our service was less than wonderful."

Nick: Yes. I think you could decide what would you like to have happen now?

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Because I think whenever we have a customer service experience that's negative, which happens to all of us who, like, are spending money in the world, customer service is what it is. And I think we all have interactions that are maybe less than ideal. And we can be mad about it, but then the question is like, what do we want to have happen? Like, what do we want the resolution to be? Because we could just be mad about it, and we could just put them on blast on Yelp and just leave them negative reviews. But, like, do we want to go back and have another dining experience where I did get the fish? Do we want them to credit your bill? Like, what do you want to have happen? If you just want to be mad about it, and then that's fine and then we just let it go. If you do want something to happen, then you could send that email the next day, which is like, "Hey, restaurant. Had a lovely evening, but I was so disappointed when this thing happened, and I just wanted to make you aware of it so that it doesn't happen to other people."

Leah: Mistakes—I mean, I made tons of mistakes as a—as a waitress. I think the thing is that if somebody said to me, "Oh, this wasn't my thing," I would go check.

Nick: Well, that's also what's so bonkers about it.

Leah: Even if I knew they were wrong, I would still humor them.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: Not that our letter-writer's wrong. I'm sure our letter-writer's right, but I would go look. I would just be like, "I could be wrong. I'm gonna go look. I'm just gonna check."

Nick: Yeah. I mean, that is what's sort of bonkers is like, they couldn't even be bothered to do that.

Leah: Yeah, that's why it's so rude. It's like, if you're—walk 20 steps. I have gone and checked things, you know what I mean? "Let me check. I can just check. Who knows? Who knows what magic happened? Let me go look."

Nick: So yeah, sorry this happened, but you were very nice about it.

Leah: You were very nice. You know, I want you to know that I have sent an email.

Nick: Ooh, have you?

Leah: Had an egregious customer service experience.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: And the person, we went back and forth, they got so snide with me.

Nick: Uh-huh.

Leah: I got moved to somebody else and they were like, "Well, I'm not sure you can get your money back." And I said, "I'm not here to get my money back. I wanted to have a conversation with you about it. You didn't want to have a conversation. I'm letting you know that you will no longer be getting any more of my money."

Nick: Okay.

Leah: So that's what I wanted as the takeaway. I either wanted to have a conversation about it or—and they just were like, "I don't know if I can get your money." So I was like, "Well, I don't want my money back. I want you to know you've lost me as a customer."

Nick: Yeah. And I guess, unfortunately, they probably don't care.

Leah: I mean, but it's not for them.

Nick: Right. Yeah. No, and I think there is some satisfaction that one gets when one sends a letter like this. Yeah.

Leah: I think for me it's that—it's just what you said is so helpful. It's like, what do you want to have happen? When I've had, like, egregious things happen, it was more like I wanted to understand why this would happen. And so if I emailed to have some sort of a like, what—is this a thing that I—you know what I mean? And then they come back at me like I'm an insane person who just made it up, then I'll be like, "Okay, we're done."

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I think it kind of comes down to what is this company? If it's a small business, a small, locally-owned restaurant where an owner I think actually does care about customer feedback because they live and die by that, that's their business, then I feel like as a business owner, I would want to know if something happened like this in my restaurant so that I would be aware that that happened and I could train my staff to be aware that this happened, and let's not let it happen again. And I think it is a service to a small business owner to actually make them aware that this thing happened. It wasn't great, and so FYI. And that's more polite than just putting them on blast with, like, negative reviews.

Leah: Absolutely.

Nick: Now if it's a big corporation that's using AI to respond to their customer service complaints, and no one's gonna ever see it and they have an algorithm that will just give you a $10 coupon, you know, whenever they see certain negative keywords then, like, doesn't matter. Then just like it's just gonna go into the void, and maybe it makes you feel satisfied but, like, nothing will change. So I think you kind of have to decide, like, oh, what is this corporation who I'm complaining to?

Leah: Mm-hmm.

Nick: Mm-hmm. So, but yeah, bad customer service? It is the thing I hate the most, I think in terms of, like, things I hate in the world, like, that is—I mean, I feel like that's number one for me.

Leah: That's because it's not really customer service, it's so—why don't we call it what it is?

Nick: It's how to do the bare minimum and still get money from you. Yes, I guess that's what that is. [laughs] Yeah, I don't like it. So speaking of airlines, our next thing is a great submission we got.

Leah: I love how you say "Speaking of airlines," because you know the letters I wrote was to airlines. [laughs] Even though I didn't say it out loud.

Nick: [laughs] Well, because that's what it always is. And you know it just goes into the void. You think any airline has ever been like, "Oh! This woman Leah Bonnema had some very good points about our service. Let's retrain the staff." Like, that's never happened.

Leah: No, what's funny is that in this incident, the staff was on my side.

Nick: Oh!

Leah: On the plane.

Nick: Oh, okay.

Leah: And that's why I was like, "What is this thing that you've done?" And then this happened on the plane and they were like—they literally said to me, "That didn't happen."

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: And I was like, "Why don't you look it up in your little lollygagging computers?"

Nick: Yeah. I mean, what do you do with that when we just have different realities?

Leah: When you have a reality where you're telling me that my reality didn't happen and I'm like, "Okay,"

Nick: Well, that's how realities work.

Leah: It's not actually how reality works.

Nick: [laughs] Well, when there's two realities that are different, you gotta pick one.

Leah: I'm pretty sure I'm right. [laughs]

Nick: [laughs]* Okay, so our next thing is a great submission. We got some great photos from a listener, and I'll paint the scene. So it's a listener who is on a bunch of different airplanes, and he writes, "Attached are two photos I took during a recent airplane travels. Both times I thought of you and Leah and wondered how you would respond to this scenario." And so people had put their coats over their seat but over the back of the seat.

Leah: Mm-hmm.

Nick: Which means it's really actually covering the edges of the seat, and the sleeves are, like, hanging back towards the passenger behind you.

Leah: And, like, over the tray that comes down.

Nick: Right. Yeah. Like, there's definitely, like, a coat wrapped around the seat. And somebody's behind you, so obviously, like, some of the coat is now in their area. And so our letter-writer says, "Though the passenger jacket hanging over the back of the seat did not affect me, I spent some time pondering whether an etiquette crime was being committed and how I would respond if I were the person sitting directly behind them. How would you handle it? I'd like to imagine a polite-yet-direct moment that went something like, 'Excuse me, you probably didn't realize it, but your jacket has fallen back in my seating area. Here you go.' And then push it back towards them, followed maybe by. 'I'm sure the flight attendant could help you hang that.' Or if I was feeling particularly bold, 'Would you like me to help you stow that in the overhead compartment?' Although that's probably dangerous during these times in which we currently live. Just pushing the sleeves back into their area seems a bit aggressive, but might be fun. Or maybe I could just sneak a note in the jacket pocket letting them know that they had been rude, and please do not repeat this offense on the next flight. And who says a surprise in the pocket just has to be a note?"

Leah: I do think it's a good point about probably dangerous in the times in which we currently live. I feel like especially on airplanes.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Driving. People just seem really ready.

Nick: It's a tinderbox up there, yeah.

Leah: Tinderbox.

Nick: Yeah. You gotta really kind of choose your moments wisely about interacting with a fellow passenger.

Leah: I always think a nice way to go in—I love the idea of a note. That's so fun. They get home, they're in the thing, they check, they look ...

Nick: Oh, although a note? I mean, think of all the things we could put in there. I was thinking like a Beanie Baby, candy corn, a treasure map, just a handful of glitter. A runza sandwich, a mousetrap. I mean, there's a lot of things we can put in the pocket.

Leah: I mean, with the glitter, you could just start doing a glitter project on your tray and then be like, "Oh, I got glitter on your jacket because it's on my tray." But I love the idea of putting a treasure map in there.

Nick: Treasure map is fun.

Leah: And then the treasure is manners.

Nick: [laughs] Yes. The treasure ends at a link with our show. Yes.

Leah: [laughs] Or you could just put a Were You Raised—that's it! We should fly with a Were You Raised By Wolves? like, a little satchel of stickers.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: And you just start slipping our Were You Raised By Wolves? into people's ...

Nick: "Thought you could use it."

Leah: "Thought you might want to check this out."

Nick: I mean, I love the promotion. That's so rude. That is so rude. But I do love the promotion. So it's like, how do I balance these two emotions?

Leah: I don't know.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: I think—I always go with the, "You couldn't have possibly known." So ...

Nick: Yes.

Leah: ... I would do a, "Oh, my goodness. I just—your jacket's sort of leaning on my tray, and I just needed to open it. Do you mind if I move it a little bit?"

Nick: Yes. Like, "Oh, I think your jacket fell behind me. Would it be possible if?" I like the "Would it be possible" phrasing.

Leah: I also love the idea that, like, you're saying, "I'm happy to move it, but I don't want to move it without your permission."

Nick: Yes.

Leah: Because I'm not gonna touch anybody's stuff.

Nick: I don't think we want to touch someone's stuff without asking. That—that is something that can definitely trigger people. Like, "Why are you touching my jacket?" And you want to be like, "Because it's in my seat."

Leah: I do think it's upsetting, and I feel like—I was talking about this with a female friend of mine recently. Like, so much is just trying to de-escalate a situation where we're not in the wrong. So that is annoying that you're like, oh, here I am, placating and de-escalating again, but you don't want it to get bigger than it is. You just want them to fix it.

Nick: Right. Because if you just leave it there and it annoys you, it's gonna annoy you increasingly, exponentially for the next six hours. It's not gonna become less annoying. It's not gonna become like, oh, I don't notice this anymore. So it would be worth just nipping it in the bud.

Leah: Maybe we bring little ketchup packets, and we get ketchup on their jacket. Or little baby nail clippers, and we just cut out a little baby square.

Nick: [laughs] Okay, So sabotage.

Leah: Sabotage.

Nick: Okay. Or a love note?

Leah: I'm not standing behind any of these ideas. I'm just putting them out there.

Nick: No, we're just brainstorming. Yeah.

Leah: I would like to do a love note to the jacket. Ode to this jacket. "You know, I wasn't expecting to see you in my home, but you have enveloped around me, and now I feel like we are one since you are on my table, oh jacket."

Nick: Oh! I mean, wow! Let's—let's call the Pulitzer. I feel like they have a new entry for poetry this year.

Leah: I mean, that was just off the dome. I didn't even pre-write that.

Nick: Yeah. No, that's—that was unscripted. [laughs]

Leah: Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Nick: No, I actually—that was beautiful.

Leah: I also think I love the idea of, like, writing a short play about the relationship with the jacket. We personify the jacket, we write a short play, and then as we're leaving the plane, we say, "I wrote this play about your jacket as it was in my seat, and I wanted to give it to you as a parting gift."

Nick: Oh, okay. It's called The Inconvenience.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] I mean, if somebody, like, handed you a manuscript at the end of a flight, like, oh, wouldn't that be interesting?

Leah: I—I would read it, let me tell you that.

Nick: Oh, I would definitely read it.

Leah: If my jacket dropped onto somebody else's seat, I would want to know so I could fix it immediately. But looking at how these jackets are placed, there's no way that these two men didn't know their jacket were in other's seats.

Nick: No, these were done this way intentionally.

Leah: Yes. They're just taking up space. "This is my space. I'm gonna take up all of it."

Nick: Yes. No, they are manspreading their jackets, basically.

Leah: Yeah. Not only sideways, but they're gonna go backwards and forwards, too.

Nick: Yeah. No, I think why this is an etiquette crime is that it is not being mindful of those around you, and it is feeling entitled to more space than is really what you are entitled to on an airplane.

Leah: I think the name of my play would be The Toxic Tweed.

Nick: Oh, okay. I like that! "The Warp, The Weft, The Weeping."

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] We really can go a lot of different ways with this, yeah.

Leah: We could maybe short—film a short. Like a short film. Like ...

Nick: Like, I think we're gonna pilot this because this is a feature film that needs to happen.

Leah: I don't know if it's a feature, but it could be a reels.

Nick: I feel like William Dafoe as The Jacket would be great casting.

Leah: I would watch Willem Dafoe as anything.

Nick: And then Cate Blanchett is you.

Leah: [laughs] Oh, this is a cast. We gotta work David Tennant in somewhere, because if anybody—he could be—he could be the chair. I mean, the man is fantastic.

Nick: [laughs] Okay. Yeah. I mean, I'm ready. I'm ready to watch The Toxic Tweed coming to a streaming service near you.

Leah: [laughs] Yeah.

Nick: So thank you for thinking of us at 35,000 feet. I'm sorry it was under these circumstances, but just goes to show we have our work cut out for us.

Leah: I mean ...

Nick: What is happening out there?

Leah: What is happening up there?

Nick: What is happening? What is happening? What is happening up there? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So you out there, do you have any tales from the unfriendly skies or anything else? Let us know. You can let us know through our website, WereYouRaisedByWolves.com. Or you can leave us a voicemail or send us a text message: (267) CALL-RBW. And we'll see you next time.

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!