Handling Stray Hairs, Backing out of Dinner Parties, Tipping for Strangers, and More

Nick: Hey, everybody. It's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And it's Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we had so many great questions from you all in the wilderness ...

Leah: [howls]

Nick: ... that we have a bonus episode. So here we go. Our first question is quote, "I have long, curly hair that I usually wear down. Sometimes when I run into men with beards, we go into, like, a mini hug, cheek kiss, hello thing. It's not initiated by one person. Sort of mutual. It happens to me probably every tenth time that my hair mildly catches or slightly sticks for a moment in their beard. What am I doing wrong? I guess I could maybe hold my hair away from them, but sometimes I have a drink in my hand or a coat, and the other arm is kind of hugging, and there's not much prep time. Also, should I apologize if this happens?"

Leah: I mean, do I feel seen or do I feel seen?

Nick: [laughs] So the first thing I wrote down is, "Is this a thing?" And so, I guess ...

Leah: This is such a thing for curly hair. Also, she's only getting one out of ten? What incredibly moisturized hair this person has.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: I am sticking, too. It doesn't even have to be a full beard. You could have stubble, and I'm sticking to it.

Nick: Okay. So any mild static environment.

Leah: Any mild static environment, I am sticking.

Nick: Okay, so what do we do? What do we do about this?

Leah: I always—I don't feel bad about it. It sort of feels like the cost of playing. You know, we hugged, now you—I'm stuck on you. But I will say joyously, like, maybe with a, "Oh! You know, my hair got stuck in your beard." Or ...

Nick: There's some levity.

Leah: Yeah, there's levity to it. And I'll be like, "Oh!" You know, I say I'm sorry, but it's not an apology like, "Oh, I'm mortified." It's more like "Ha! I stick to everybody."

Nick: Okay.

Leah: And then I physically show that I would go to grab it, but I want permission physically to grab it.

Nick: All right, so you're gonna take the initiative to try to remove this errant hair off of their person.

Leah: Like, if it's on their shoulder and it's sticking out?

Nick: Okay.

Leah: I'll just grab it. But I'll say what I'm doing so they don't think that I'm, like, touching. I'll be like, "My hair is—" and then—but if it's, like, on your face, I'll be like, "I got stuck on your face."

Nick: [laughs] Okay. All right.

Leah: "Do you want me to grab it?"

Nick: Yeah. And I think this is an important point. Before we go back into the personal space again, I feel like you do need to announce why you're doing that because, like, we did the hug, and that felt complete, and now we're back in our respective space zones. So if you're coming in for more, like, I want to know, like, why are your fingers coming to my face?

Leah: Yeah. You gotta make an announcement. "My hair's stuck to you. "Ah, curly! So sorry."

Nick: You're just gonna quickly just dash in and pinch it and pull it back?

Leah: It depends on my relationship to the person and where on their person it is. Like, if it's, like, a long hair and it's, like, trailing off their jacket, I think I'll just grab it. But if it's, like, on your face and I barely know you ...

Nick: I feel like I would let them know that there's a hair on their face first and let them have first crack.

Leah: Oh, I'm definitely gonna let them know, but I'm not going—would I even try to after letting them know? "Do you want me to grab it?" I would have to feel out what kind of—what is the vibe.

Nick: Yeah. "Do you want me to grab it?" Yeah, I think you have to sort of feel that out. Yeah. That is a contextual decision.

Leah: But it definitely happens.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Like, also when you go home, you're probably gonna find pieces of me in your clothing. I just can't help it. [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] Well, we just have to moisturize more. Is that the solution?

Leah: I don't know. I don't think with curly hair it's possible. It just sticks.

Nick: It just—it is what it is. It's the way of the world. Okay.

Leah: It's the way of the world.

Nick: So our next question is quote, "Remember the episode where an invitation recipient wouldn't RSVP unless she saw the entire guest list? Well, I'm starting to come around to her point of view. A friend recently texted my sister and me an invitation for dinner, which we were very pleased to accept. But a couple of days before the event, we received an email to everyone who was attending, none of whom, other than our host, we would willingly have spent five minutes with. We feel sandbagged and wonder what on Earth to do. A polite-yet-direct private conversation with a host seems impossibly awkward, since we would essentially be criticizing her choice of friends. Thoughts?"

Leah: I feel like what my thoughts are on this are not etiquettely correct.

Nick: Okay, what do you want to do here?

Leah: What I want to do here—there are times when we have to do something we don't want to do.

Nick: Sure.

Leah: Work. Family obligations.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: This doesn't seem to be one of those times.

Nick: Okay. And so therefore?

Leah: Yes, we have agreed, but this is not people that we kind of don't like. These are not people that we're just—these are people that we don't want to spend ...

Nick: Five minutes with.

Leah: Five minutes with. And it's gonna be your whole night.

Nick: Yeah. This is a dinner. Yeah, this is a dinner.

Leah: This is sitting down. And I guess—and I don't know when this happened to me, Nick. It's happened over the course of five years. I just don't know why we're doing things that we hate doing. And ...

Nick: [laughs] Okay.

Leah: When it's not an obligation, I feel like we're still a few days out. It's not like we're canceling an hour before.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: I know you don't like this. I knew as soon as I read it that Nick's not gonna like my answer. So then my thought was: if we're just completely honest with this person ...

Nick: Oh!

Leah: ... does that mean—say, "Hey ..."

Nick: "I hate all your friends."

Leah: " ... these are not people that I particularly get along with. I would love to hang out with you. My sister and I would love to take you out to a separate meal, like a lunch or a dinner. I can't make it. You know I—you know I don't like these people. What are we doing here?" I feel like when you're completely honest, does that make it better? I don't know. And then your third option is to just suck it up and sit with people that you obviously detest. I mean, this is not just—this seems like an active dislike for a whole night.

Nick: Oh, no. Yeah, okay. So I mean, you're not wrong in some aspects. [laughs] I guess the general principle is when you do agree to attend something, you should attend. I mean, that's kind of just like the baseline etiquette expectation. Now if you need to back out, generally speaking you gotta have a real good reason to do it, because you're probably inconveniencing your host in some way and other consequences. And so this is not a great reason. This doesn't feel like a great reason just because you hate everybody. But I mean, health and safety always trumps etiquette. So, you know, if it's a health and safety reason why you just can't be around these people, then okay, no questions asked, don't go. But the idea of, like, oh, I said yes, and then I saw the guest list, and now I want to say no, that's gonna send a message to your host.

Leah: Yeah. The question is how do you feel about that idea that you're sending this message to your host?

Nick: Okay. Which is actually another etiquette topic, which is that etiquette decisions have etiquette consequences. And so you can make whatever etiquette decision you want to make. Just know that there's gonna be an etiquette consequence. So if you back out and you've inconvenienced this host, who has two seats to fill now for this dinner party, the consequence may be you'll just never get an invitation from this person ever again. And if you're cool with that consequence, then okay, have at it. Just know that, like, that could be a consequence.

Leah: It might actually be relieving. That might actually make you feel—you may be like, "Thank goodness!"

Nick: Yeah. I mean, maybe that's how you feel. Okay, fine. I mean, all I want is for people to make etiquette decisions that are thoughtful. So you can make an etiquette decision knowing that there's gonna be consequences, but just be thoughtful with that decision.

Leah: I also—I come from a gig economy. Like, as a comic, most of my friends are in gig economy, got jobs. So I'm very used to people canceling last minute. It is the world in which I live. I had two tickets to a thing last night. I had a friend coming. She had to cancel right before. She got a job. Fine.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: You know what I mean? So I come to it with a different sort of feeling.

Nick: Fair enough. And I guess people know this about you, that if I'm gonna invite you to an event, you might not show up if something comes up work wise.

Leah: Yeah. And I'm very upfront about that. Obviously, it's not like a wedding.

Nick: Right.

Leah: I also feel like I still—I get the idea, though, that you don't want to be with people that you actively dislike. But I still don't like when I have a party and then people go, "But who's going?" before they RSVP. I still don't like it.

Nick: Oh, yes. That's also very rude. Yes. Because that's—I mean, that's like saying like, "Oh, hey. I want you to come over for dinner on Friday." And you're like, "What are you making?" And I'm like, "Lasagna." And you're like, "Oh, I don't like that. Never mind. Pass." And you're like, "That's not how I want that to go."

Leah: Yeah. So it's—I still don't really think that people—that's why it's such a hard ...

Nick: Well, this is worse because this is you wanting to back out after you've seen the guest list and after you've already RSVPed yes. I mean, if you saw the whole guest list electronically before you RSVPed and you wanted to say no? No problem. I'm just not available. But it's the fact that you gave your answer and then saw the list and now want to change your answer. That's a little problematic.

Leah: I understand.

Nick: But I mean, I get, like, do we want to live in a world in which we're just doing things we don't want to do all the time? That's a very Leah Bonama approach. [laughs]

Leah: And my answer to that is no. And I don't think that our friend—our friend must know these are people we don't like.

Nick: I would assume so. Right? Do they know the company they're keeping?

Leah: So that's why I feel like I would want to call my friend and go, "Lisa, you know, I don't—these people and I don't get along. I can't do this. Come on!"

Nick: Yeah, I guess if that is your relationship with the host and they know your history with the guest list, then okay, yeah.

Leah: You'd be like, "Tanya and I got in a fight in a parking lot. We can't be in the same room together. It's a—we have legal papers where we're not allowed to be near each other."

Nick: [laughs] Right. Okay. Yeah. I mean, if you have a restraining order, sure. That's something to bring up with your host. Yeah.

Leah: But then I would also offer to take my host out some other time for the inconvenience if I want to maintain this relationship.

Nick: Yes. I mean, that would be the olive branch if you have backed out and have inconvenienced your host and want to try to make amends. Yes. I think that that would be one way to handle it. Okay. But the general principle is if you do say you're going to something, unless you got a real good reason, you should try to stick with that. And so, you know, can you tough it out for the evening? And then you just know this about your host and you're never gonna go to one of their events ever again. That might be a nice solution.

Leah: I mean, I say this like I'm gonna call up Lisa and be like, "Lisa, come on!" But I'd probably end up going, and then just hating two hours of my life.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, a dinner party? Yeah, they are exhausting.

Leah: I would have never said yes. So I'm not in this position.

Nick: Right. Yeah, this is so hypothetical for you because you don't want to go anywhere no matter who's inviting you, who's on the guest list.

Leah: I work nights.

Nick: Oh, you don't even want to go to an afternoon tea party.

Leah: Nobody's inviting me to afternoon tea parties.

Nick: Aww.

Leah: I don't like being nailed down. You know what I mean? It feels—it makes me anxious.

Nick: Okay. That's what it is. Yeah. You want maximum flexibility.

Leah: [laughs] I really do. I just want maximum flexibility.

Nick: Okay. So in the end, we are telling this person back out of this dinner party if you wish. Just know that there may be consequences and decide if you want to suffer those consequences. Is that the advice?

Leah: I mean, I feel like I know that this is not what we're supposed to be saying. We're saying you agreed to do something, and your word is your bond. And we as human beings it's all we have.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: And I feel like there's a long part of my life that I live like this, but now I feel like tomorrow is not promised. So I don't want to spend two hours with people I actively dislike when I could be home watching murder mystery shows and hanging out with my dogs.

Nick: Yeah. Okay, that's fair. I mean, I think you could come to the conclusion that works best for you, and if that's how you want to arrive at it, then so be it.

Leah: And I think we are gonna get letters—particularly aimed at me—that this is not appropriate behavior. But I just ...

Nick: Well, you're not gonna get letters. You're just not gonna get invitations. [laughs]

Leah: Well, nobody's inviting me to anything.

Nick: Well, then okay, then this works out for everybody.

Leah: Well, I also don't—we say I don't like to be nailed down, but it's because I'm afraid I'll have to cancel, and then everybody will be mad at me. So I just say, "I don't know. I don't know. I have a very unreliable schedule."

Nick: Yes. I think the best time to catch you for an event is actually daytime, morning, breakfast.

Leah: Oh, morning time is like my best time. Do you want to do a morning walk? Yes!

Nick: Right. Okay. Well, so we can nail you down for that.

Leah: Yes, this is true.

Nick: So our next question is quote, "I was just at a coffee shop, and the person ahead of me was super rude to the staff during the entire ordering process. He paid with his credit card, and walked over to the side to wait for his coffee, but the payment screen was still showing an option to select tip. Would it have been okay for me to have tapped 25 percent for him since he was so awful to the people working there?"

Leah: Can I say what I wrote?

Nick: Sure.

Leah: I said, "I absolutely love where your head is at, but I think that the person working will actually get in trouble for that."

Nick: Ah, interesting. Yeah. I mean, I love karmic tipping. Is that what this is? It's karmic tipping. But yeah, tempting as it is, it is technically wrong. And so we cannot.

Leah: Because I feel like what has happened is the person will see their credit card statement, they'll go, "I didn't tip." And then they'll call the place and be like, "Your person did this."

Nick: One idea I did have, it's probably not a good idea, but we're gonna just put it out there, is you could say to the person waiting for their coffee, very loudly, "Oh, excuse me. You're still on the tipping screen. Did you want to make a selection, sir?" Very loudly for all to hear. And then make him say loudly no. Or yes is hopefully the right answer given his behavior. So I guess you could sort of shame him. I don't love that, but that's an idea.

Leah: I mean, if you had that in you, you could, you could say—you could add to that. "Hey, the tip screen is open. Do you want me to hit 25 since you were so difficult?"

Nick: Oh! Wow, okay. Take it to that place.

Leah: I mean, if you have that in you.

Nick: [laughs] Okay. Yeah. No, that's fair, that's fair.

Leah: I think I would deal with it by tipping extra myself and go, "Wow, that person was a lot."

Nick: Yeah, I would definitely want to at the very least make eye contact with the person working there who just experienced this rudeness with a look or a slight sort of subtle comment which was like, "Oh, yeah, that was very bad. And I acknowledge that. And, like, I'm on your side." So I feel like some sort of camaraderie would be useful.

Leah: I would look him in the eye and go, "What a nincompoop.: And then tip extra.

Nick: But yeah, I mean, at the end of the day, etiquette is about one's own behavior and it's not about policing others. And so we just can't, unfortunately.

Leah: Well, we could, but I don't think that we should do anything with their money because it could get somebody else in trouble.

Nick: Right. Yes, the money thing definitely takes it to another place. But even policing other people's behavior, and be like, "Hey, you were horrible and didn't tip." Like, even saying that, I mean, that's policing somebody's behavior and that is technically rude. So even though that's very satisfying.

Leah: But I think we could say it to the person working.

Nick: We could definitely say something to the person working, which is like, "I see you."

Leah: And maybe we can trip them on the way out. [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] Okay.

Leah: I'm kidding. People listening, I'm kidding. I'm not advocating—no for trips.

Nick: No. But we can want it. I guess we can want it.

Leah: We could want karma to trip them.

Nick: We definitely want karma—I mean, that's actually sort of the maddening thing about bad etiquette is that sometimes there's no justice. You know, we want this to catch up with people at some point, but sometimes it doesn't. Some people go their entire lives and it never catches up with them. And you just have to be in a good place with that.

Leah: I do think it catches up to them. It's just something will catch up with them. You just might not be there.

Nick: Mmm, okay. I guess that that can help me sleep at night knowing that the universe will get them eventually.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: [laughs] Okay. Although I really want to be there for that, though.

Leah: I know. That's the sad part.

Nick: That is the sad part. So our next question is quote, "I have a question from a friend, let's call her Tanya. She's a young woman in her 20s who has never been invited to a wedding as an adult. Many months ago, her friend—let's call her Lisa—sent save-the-date cards for her wedding. Tanya, who had no previous experience with weddings, told me that she politely contacted Lisa to ask if she could bring a plus one who happens to be her longtime girlfriend. Tanya said that she asked the question in a way that was, 'Hey, no problem if there's no plus ones. Just wanting to check.' Lisa told her that they were still figuring out things as far as how big the wedding would be and whether or not there would be an invitation for a plus one. Fast forward to now when Tanya received the invitation. The invitation was an e-vite and when she clicked on the RSVP, it showed a line for Tanya, yes or no. And a line to add in the name of the plus one, which Tanya added. Now enter Chad. He's a mutual friend of Tanya and Lisa. Chad told Tanya that Lisa is upset that Tanya added a plus one in her RSVP. Keep in mind that Tanya told Lisa months ago that she was fine if there was no plus one, and Lisa never followed up on Tanya's inquiry. Now Tanya is annoyed at Lisa for accusing her of overstepping and not directly contacting her. This wedding is a three-hour drive away and will involve one night in a hotel, and now Tanya is considering not even going. Thoughts?"

Leah: So this was actually a question we got on Patreon. So Nick and I replied in real time.

Nick: Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. This was an urgent inquiry.

Leah: We both had the same response.

Nick: Yeah. All right, so walk our listeners through it.

Leah: Also, because you remember Nick was upset with the time that I came in and I said I disagreed, and he brought it up again later.

Nick: Mm-hmm. I don't like people disagreeing with me, so sue me. [laughs] But okay, you agree. So I'm on board with that.

Leah: So we suggested that, like, because Tanya hadn't been to a wedding before. She called, she asked. It was her understanding that Lisa would decide if they were doing plus ones. And then when she got the email, she was like, "Oh, I can do a plus one."

Nick: Yeah. I mean, who cares if she's been to a wedding or not? She received an invitation, it asked her for a name and it gave her the option of a plus one. If there was some electronic system glitch, that's not Tanya's problem.

Leah: Well, even I'm just adding that she hasn't been to a wedding before because it's like she's doing all these things for the first time, and she's—she's nailing it. You know what I mean? She's, like, reaching out. She's asking. She's being lovely. And then she hears that somebody's talking badly about her behind her back.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: When she's done everything that she can.

Nick: Chad is a problem here.

Leah: We don't know. Chad might just be letting Tanya know Lisa's saying this stuff. You might want to know.

Nick: I mean, I don't love that either. Lisa, just—if you got a problem, just tell me.

Leah: Well, that's what it should be. That's what it is.

Nick: [laughs] Yes.

Leah: So Tanya should call Lisa and be like, "Hey, what's going on?"

Nick: "I heard from Chad that you have some concerns."

Leah: And just. "I thought that this was okay, so let's chat it out here."

Nick: Yeah. Like, "Oh, I got the invitation, and it had a spot for a plus one. So sorry if I misunderstood."

Leah: And then go from there.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I guess the question is, like, what is the response to that?

Leah: Well, Lisa should apologize.

Nick: Lisa should apologize. Yes.

Leah: Lisa may need to be reminded that Tanya had asked and that she put a plus one on her wedding invitation.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I think asking or not asking is actually immaterial. It's just like, I received an invitation that invited me to add a plus one, and so if you do not want to give me a plus one, then you should not have allowed me to do so. I mean, this is one of the hazards of the electronic invitations. I mean, the rule with invitations is the names on the invitations are the people who are invited. So had you mailed this to me, the envelope, the physical piece of paper would have said "Tanya and guest," in which case very clear. And so that is a little harder with an email, obviously. I guess when you click through, maybe there's, like, some wording that pops up on the virtual invitation. But yeah, I mean, the system allowed for a plus one, so that's what it was. And so that's, like, not my problem. That's Lisa's problem.

Leah: I just think that the call in advance shows that there are many levels to Tanya trying to be amiable.

Nick: Yes. Yes. No, Tanya has tried to really be a conscientious guest here. Absolutely.

Leah: And I think that she should just call up Lisa and be like, "Hey, what's the deal? Because I thought that this was okay, and I would rather just talk about it."

Nick: Yeah. And then hopefully Lisa apologizes and then that's the end of it. And then you can decide based on how that goes do you want to attend?

Leah: Yes. Because I would understand not wanting to spend the night, drive six hours for somebody who's being mean to me.

Nick: Also, long term girlfriend does suggest that that name should have also been on the invitation. That's not a plus one situation. Like, that? That's a named person.

Leah: I actually need to look at how e-vites work because it's like, are we just—is it like one of the—like, what kind of evite is this? Is this like the one on your phone, or is this coming to you with your name and another name?

Nick: I am picturing—I'm picturing that they did the fancy type, which is you get an email and then you click a link and you're taken to a website, and there's a little animation of an envelope with your name on it. And then you see the animation of the envelope opening, and then you see a card coming out of the envelope and then rotating. And then it has like, "You are invited to Lisa's wedding." And so I'm picturing that's what it is. And so then you scroll down and then there's like, "Will you come?" And then it's like, yes or no. And then guest? And you're like, "Yes." And then name of guest. So I'm picturing that is what this was. And these can be configured to not allow people to bring guests. That's a pretty standard feature. So had Lisa not wanted Tanya to have a plus one, that could have been configured and all this could have been avoided. But Lisa failed to do so, and decided just to complain to Chad, knowing full well that Chad was gonna pass that message along to Tanya. And that's just childish.

Leah: It's childish to complain about somebody doing something that clearly they did because the way your e-vite worked made it so they could.

Nick: Right. So another reason to not use e-vites and to do it the old fashioned way.

Leah: Or another reason to not have a wedding and just be engaged for 15 years. [laughs]

Nick: There we go. Yeah. I mean, that works, too. Yeah. You've avoided this problem, haven't you?

Leah: It really just seems fraught and full of anxiety.

Nick: I think you are gonna have a perfect wedding.

Leah: Thank you.

Nick: Should you choose to have one. Yes.

Leah: Earlier, before ...

Nick: As long as you allow me to consult.

Leah: [laughs] Consult? Nick, you're doing the whole thing.

Nick: I was told I wasn't allowed to officiate.

Leah: Oh, minus the officiating.

Nick: Oh, okay. All right. So it's not the whole thing.

Leah: I meant all the organizing.

Nick: Oh, I see. Okay. All right. Lucky me. I mean, is that my gift, or are we also registering?

Leah: Oh, that would be your gift.

Nick: Oh, that's my gift to you.

Leah: I know how you feel about registries.

Nick: Yeah. Okay. Oh, so we're already nailing the lesson.

Leah: [laughs] I'm still gonna have a registry, because I'm still from the old school where people make registries because that's things they need and everybody's coming together to send them off on their life.

Nick: Yeah, I don't think that's how that works anymore.

Leah: Well, we stand divided.

Nick: Okay. Well, I'll get you a KitchenAid.

Leah: I would love a KitchenAid!

Nick: [laughs] Really? What are you doing with the KitchenAid?

Leah: Are you kidding?

Nick: I don't know your life.

Leah: Oh, I love KitchenAids. Every time you go KitchenAids, I go, "Can I come over and make something?" I love a KitchenAid!

Nick: Okay. All right.

Leah: I mean, notice they're so hardy. They just last forever.

Nick: No, I love KitchenAids. I have a big one. I mean, it's like Tetris. It's under my sink and I have to, like, pull everything out to get to it, so I don't use it that often, but oh, yeah. Oh, the ice cream attachment? Let me tell you.

Leah: Oh, I didn't even know there was an ice cream attachment.

Nick: Oh, life changing. And ice cream is so easy to make. It's shockingly easy to make. Last time I was making vanilla ice cream, I was actually standing over the stove and I said out loud, "Oh, this is dangerous." Because it's so easy. It's so easy to have a quart of ice cream just in your house instantly. And like, I don't—that's—I shouldn't live like that.

Leah: Ugh! Everyone should live like that. We've made ice cream at my parents house, but they have a separate ice cream maker.

Nick: Yes, if you have the room for separate devices, that's great. I would love a gelato maker.

Nick: Ooh!

Nick: Actually, my dream—oh, the dream. You wanna know the dream? The dream is to have a Taylor soft serve ice cream maker. That's what I want. Commercial soft serve, two flavors with swirl.

Leah: Where is my—I gotta make a note really quick.

Nick: That might be a higher priority than the Toto NX1.

Leah: Taylor soft serve. Writing it down. You know the attachment that comes out the front that's more like a grinder on the KitchenAid?

Nick: Sure.

Leah: My parents make at like Thanksgiving, it's a more savory cranberry.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: But it's like cranberries and orange peels and lemon peels.

Nick: Oh, interesting. I wonder if it's the Susan Stamberg ...

Leah: I wonder if it's—it's got a little horseradish in it.

Nick: With horseradish.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Oh! So what that is is the Susan Stamberg family recipe. Yes.

Leah: It is so good.

Nick: Yeah, I guess it's Pepto Bismol pink, right?

Leah: Yes, it is.

Nick: Yeah. Yeah. I've not had it, but I've heard about it.

Leah: I think about it all year.

Nick: Well, okay. So our next question is quote, "My husband and I do not drink alcohol. Should we keep it on hand for our guests and entertaining? Recently, we extended invitations to alcohol-free cocktail hours and that went well. Expectations managed. But I would appreciate your thoughts."

Leah: My thoughts were very clear on this. My husband and I do not drink alcohol. Should we keep it on hand for guests? No.

Nick: No. You are not obligated to have alcohol in your house if you don't want it. Yeah, full stop.

Leah: You're even allowed to tell people not to bring alcohol into your house if that's how you feel about it.

Nick: Also fair. Yeah, I think that's also fair. And mocktails are the new cocktails anyway, so you're very on trend.

Leah: You are so on trend. If we have dinner parties, we say to people, "We don't have alcohol. If you want to bring wine or beer for yourselves, you're more than welcome."

Nick: Yeah. If you're comfortable with that. But you can also be like, "We don't have alcohol in the house. Hope that's okay."

Leah: Yes, absolutely. And I think that's totally fine to say we don't keep alcohol in this house. We have really fun mocktails.

Nick: But I appreciate sort of the sentiment here, which is like, oh, I want my guests to be comfortable.

Leah: Yes. No, I absolutely love this idea that you want your guests to feel welcomed, but I definitely think alcohol is a personal choice, whether you want it in your home or not. And that's yours to make.

Nick: That's it. So do you have questions for us? Oh, yes you do! So send them to us. Send them to us through our website, WereYouRaisedByWolves.com. Or you can leave us a voicemail or send us a text message: (267) CALL-RBW. And we'll see you next time.

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!