Demanding Birthday Cake, Putting Time Limits on Meals, Getting Nosy at the Pharmacy, and More

Nick: Hey, everybody. It's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And it's Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we got so many great questions from you all in the wilderness ...

Leah: [howls]

Nick: ... that we have a bonus episode. So here we go. Our first question is quote, "Recently, my dad turned 70. In order to celebrate this milestone, I decided to throw him a surprise birthday party. I live several states away, so I coordinated with my mom and siblings so he wouldn't even know I was flying in. I was very excited. The night of the party, everything went smoothly. My dad was completely surprised, the catered food was delicious, and the group of about 35 guests were having a great time. When it looked like people were starting to wind down their dinners, I went into the other room and pulled out the birthday cakes out of the refrigerator to put candles in them. I got three round cakes, each one a different flavor, rather than a large sheet cake because I wanted to accommodate people having different tastes. And my sister-in-law suggested that me and my two siblings each carry one cake out to my dad. What a cute idea! I was about to light the candles, and waited for my two brothers to come help me carry the cakes when a guest I didn't know came in and asked if she could have a slice of cake to go.

Nick: "I looked up and said, 'Oh, we're just about to light the candles and sing, so just give me a minute, and then sure.' She replied, 'Yeah, we really have to go.' And she stood there expectantly. Her husband then walked in carrying their baby and added, 'It's about to start raining and we're parked down the street, so we need to get going.' I think I blinked a few times in silence, and then quietly said 'Sure.' She then added, 'Can you make it a big slice?' Now having an out of body experience, I sliced off a quarter of the cake, shoved it onto a plate and handed it to them to try to minimize the tension on the whole situation, I quickly lit the candles and handed each sibling a whole cake so that I would be the one to carry out the cut cake. I tried to hide the cut portion while carrying it into the room, but other guests definitely noticed a big chunk missing. So my question is: what? Do weather conditions ever negate the fact that a birthday cake is unsliced? And is there ever a scenario where it's okay to ask for a slice of cake before it's presented to the guest of honor?"

Leah: I wrote underneath it in big letters "No!"

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I love this. I mean, I'm sorry that this happened, but I'm so delighted that this ended up in my inbox. This was real fun.

Leah: I just ...

Nick: I mean, what is wrong with people?

Leah: What is wrong with the idea that you would make something about you to demand uncut cake be cut?

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: So you can leave early?

Nick: Yeah. I mean, something's broken. Something is broken. Something is broken inside of you if you think that's a thing that should happen.

Leah: I know that there's a lot of pausing, and I apologize. I just ...

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: I mean, I'm visualizing these people being, like, "Oh, of course you're gonna stop bringing the cake out to the birthday person and give it to me, not the birthday person, and my family so we can leave early because it might rain, and I—" what? So leave! You don't get the cake!

Nick: "Oh, and actually, can we have a big piece?"

Leah: "Can we have about half of that cake, please?"

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: Who are you?

Nick: "Yeah. Not only do we want cake, we actually want a lot of cake."

Leah: I do think there's this, I would call it an epidemic happening where people make things about themselves.

Nick: Yes. When you think etiquette is about being mindful of other people, that is inherently contradictory to making it about yourself. Like, these things are not compatible. So yeah. Yeah, this is a real problem.

Leah: It's like you should be embarrassed to say this.

Nick: Yes, this is embarrassing. This is embarrassing. So I think let's just briefly summarize what the obligations are here: a host gets to decide when things are served. That is part of the privilege of being a host. You get to pick when things are served. And so if you say that, "Oh, this cake will be served after the birthday boy sees the cake and blows out the candles," then that's what it is. The host gets to decide this. That is also how it is traditionally done in the United States. That is what I think most everybody would expect to have happen. I don't think there's a tradition of cutting cake before blowing out candles.

Leah: I A) can't even imagine going up to somebody—visually, obviously, they're prepping the cake to bring out to the birthday boy.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: It's clearly that's what's happening. To walk in and be like, "Hey, can I get a slice first?" Already—already it's shocking. And then to have the hostess say, "Oh, actually we're just lighting it and bringing it out, we're gonna sing," and then for you to go, "No, no, no. Doesn't work for me."

Nick: [laughs] Right? Yeah, it's not a negotiation. It's not a negotiation. Now what I wanted our host and our letter-writer to say was, "Oh, unfortunately, it won't be possible to cut the cake until my father has seen it." And just that's what it is. And I think you could have said that in a polite way, but just firmly. I don't think we needed to actually acquiesce here.

Leah: No, but I do think that our letter-writer was shocked. And sometimes when you're just in complete shock, you're just—you're not ready.

Nick: I know how we got here, but I think that would have been the thing to say. And then you could add, "Oh, I do hope you'll be able to stay for that, but I totally understand if you need to dash before the rain. And it's like, it's your choice."

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: "It's your choice. You can have cake or you can be dry. I can't make both things happen for you."

Leah: Yeah, that's when I employ the, "I totally understand if you have to go."

Nick: Yeah. I mean, this is somebody who wants to eat their cake and have it too.

Leah: I love how I've said "birthday man," and then we've also said "birthday boy" because birthday boy just rolls off the tongue, and we're calling an adult man a birthday boy, but it just has a ring to it.

Nick: Yes. I don't think we say "birthday man," do we?

Leah: I tried to say it, and it really felt weird.

Nick: Yeah. No, I think "birthday boy," I think, has no age assigned to it.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So yeah. I mean, these are bad people.

Leah: These are bad people. I guarantee you they're like this across everything in their life.

Nick: Oh, yeah. No, this is not isolated at all. So what I want for anybody listening is that when you are shocked in a situation like this, you do not always have to say yes to unreasonable requests. No is allowed. You can say no. And I think we just have to practice saying no when we're shocked. I think it just takes practice, and you just have to give it a beat and be like, "That was unreasonable. I do not have to agree to this. No, unfortunately, it is not possible."

Leah: And I think you can practice lots of fun different no's like "Nooo."

Nick: Yeah. Well, let's practice, Leah. "Hey, Leah. I just bought these Q-tips from CVS, and I actually opened it, but actually, I need you to return them for me. Can you please return this open box of Q-tips to CVS. And get a manager involved if they say no.

Leah: Nooo.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: [laughs]

Leah: No, I can't do that. Which I know is not that—we're saying that's not possible at this time.

Nick: [laughs] I do feel like that's probably your personal nightmare, though.

Leah: Returning something open and then getting a manager?

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I wouldn't do it for anybody.

Nick: [laughs] So being able to say no in that situation, very useful for you.

Leah: Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't even say it that nice. I would be—I would say—that's just a way—I'd be like—I'm not even gonna say what I would say because this is not an appropriate show for it. But I would be like ...

Nick: All right, so we have to practice. We have to practice.

Leah: It would be like, "No. No, I can't." I mean, "No, I'm uncomfortable doing that, but you're welcome to take your ear cleaners in yourself."

Nick: [laughs] Okay. So, all right. I mean, it just takes practice. That's my point. It just take practice. So I do feel like this won't happen again, but if something similar happens in your life, you know, I think we just take a beat and be like, "Oh, is this reasonable? Yes or no?" It's like a little decision tree. And if it's not, well then saying no in a polite way, this is allowed. You do not have to say yes to every unreasonable request.

Leah: I think it would be sort of fun if we all started saying, "That seems very unreasonable to me."

Nick: I have said that directly. Yes, I have said that to people, like, "Oh, unfortunately, I don't think that's a reasonable request, and I'm not able to accommodate you."

Leah: I like that.

Nick: Yeah. And that's very—I mean, that's a little stark. When I've said it it was deserved, so it was contextual. And we don't start there. You know, we always just start with, like, "Oh, unfortunately it's not possible." But sometimes you gotta escalate to, "It's not possible because that is unreasonable."

Leah: I—I know we're not doing this, but how wonderful would it be if we got these people's names and then we somehow watched ...

Nick: What do you mean we're not doing this? It's on the table for me.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: Whatever you're about to say, I'm open to whatever it is.

Leah: If we could just see how they maneuvered in their everyday life, it just must be like one ...

Nick: I would love some hidden camera.

Leah: ... just one horrible thing after another.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I love that she walks in, asks for something completely unreasonable, is denied, and she asks again and then her husband comes in with a kid to be like, "Can you hurry it up for us?"

Nick: Yeah. Oh, that's a great point, too! We did not talk about that. Yeah.

Leah: Our hostess got, like, tag teamed.

Nick: Yeah. And he's like, "Let's move it along, people."

Leah: "It's gonna rain."

Nick: "It's gonna rain, so let's get this cake going." Yeah.

Leah: "Wrap up that cake!"

Nick: Oh, that's rude too!

Leah: It's just like so much at once, you're just like, "What? I just got double sided!"

Nick: Yeah, I can see how we were just done ...

Leah: Overwhelmed. It's overwhelming when a second person walks in.

Nick: Yeah, that's true. And I can see where we're like, "Oh, just take the cake."

Leah: And then the kid's staring at you like, "Are you denying me cake?"

Nick: [laughs] Oh, so much bad etiquette! So our next question is quote, "A gal pal of mine got married about a year ago and planned her entire wedding herself, which was out of state and was supposed to utilize a friend as her day-of coordinator. Well, that coordinator got sick, and so the bride called me up with less than 24 hours notice to step in and take over. I was part of her 'bride tribe,' and was already going to be attending and participating in the wedding, so it was less of an ask and more of a 'You're up.' Obviously, I wanted to help my friend in a bind, but what was supposed to be a lovely fun mini-vacay weekend to celebrate my friend that had cost me a pretty penny between wedding gift, wardrobe, housing and travel costs, turned into a schlepping in heels, set up and tear down work-a-thon situation.

Nick: "Once the wedding was all said and done, I didn't receive a thank you of any kind, no note, no gift or otherwise. Fast forward. I am now engaged and this same bridal friend has started her own day-of coordinating business. Ever since finding out about my engagement, she has been really pushing me to utilize her and her services for my wedding as a wedding gift to me. Am I wrong to be salty about not receiving a thank you for what I did for her wedding? And is there a polite way to let her know that, while I appreciate the gesture of offering her services to me and my big day, I'm a little put off by how pushy she's being?"

Leah: Part one, am I wrong to be salty about not receiving a thank-you note for what I did for her wedding?

Nick: No. [laughs]

Leah: I would be salty.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, how ungrateful. How ungrateful.

Leah: And it's—I mean, it's—you worked. You worked the wedding, and you paid to work the wedding. I would have thought that person would say, "Hey, I really appreciate you stepping in. Let me help with some of your costs of travel. I know you didn't get to relax at all." Something.

Nick: Or, "Thank you so much for helping make my day a success. I appreciate it." I mean, I'll take that as a baseline.

Leah: I mean, unbelievable!

Nick: This friend is basically taking you for granted. That's what this was.

Leah: I feel like it's a little more than even taking them for granted.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, that does sort of minimize, I think, what has happened. I mean, I guess that's one component of what has happened, because it's just assuming that of course you're gonna basically schlep tables in heels for me for nine hours and, like, of course you'll do that for me. And, like, that's expected, and that was actually your obligation. And so no thank yous required because that's just your job, I guess.

Leah: I do not like it.

Nick: It's not good. It is not good. So yeah, you're right to be salty. No problem.

Leah: And I think part two, "Is there a polite way to let her know that while I appreciate the gesture of offering her services, I'm a little put off by how pushy she's being?" I think you could say that "Thank you so much. I'm not ready to make a decision about this. I appreciate the offer. I'll think about it."

Nick: Yeah. Although I actually think it would be better for you to actually make the decision of who you will be working with, if anyone, to say, like, "Thank you so much, I'm all set for my big day, but I really appreciate you offering." Because then no follow up is required.

Leah: I feel like our letter-writer hasn't made their decision yet.

Nick: Well, I would make that real quick.

Leah: So you think she should not work with her?

Nick: Um, I mean, oh, that's not up to me. I mean, I feel like if you want to work with her, then okay. I'm not getting the sense that we want to hire this person.

Leah: Well, I feel like they haven't decided. I could be reading that wrong, because maybe they're thinking, "Well, I did it for her. She did it for me. Maybe that will even-steven it out."

Nick: Oh, I guarantee you that this friend is not gonna be volunteering her services. You will have to pay this person.

Leah: It says, "As a wedding gift to me."

Nick: Oh, as a wedding gift. Oh, how nice.

Leah: I feel like if you want to use her and have it as a wedding gift, I think you should tell her that you have feelings about how it went down at her wedding. That way you don't harbor it.

Nick: Okay. Oh, we would want to tell her why we're not gonna hire her? I don't know.

Leah: No, that's if you decide to hire her.

Nick: Oh, if you decide to hire her, you'd want to have a little heart to heart about, like, "Hey, just PS: I don't want something to go down like that again."

Leah: I guess when you say it that way it seems weird, but I feel like if you don't tell her and you do hire her, then I feel like you're just gonna be thinking about it the whole time.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, the opportunity to say that you were upset was after a sufficient amount of time for a thank you to have come from this person and you didn't get it, that's when you would reach out and be like, "Hey, beautiful wedding. I just wanted to say that I was a little upset that I did not seem to get any thank you from you for what I did for you. And I was just—wanted to talk to you about that." Like, I think there was an opportunity for that conversation. I guess you could still have that conversation, but it's sort of like the more time that passes, you know, that gets a little harder.

Leah: Well, it's not for us to decide, but would just be working with somebody else that way you don't have to think about it anymore. [laughs]

Nick: Right. That's why I think just, like, decide to work with somebody else, lock that person down and that way you could just tell this friend like, "Hey! Oh, thank you so much, but actually I've already got this, like, worked out, but really appreciate it. Can't wait to see you. And just, like, leave it at that.

Leah: "And also, if they don't show up day of and you're there I'll have you do it and then you can do it for free and I won't mention it to you later or ever say thank you. Does that seem good?"

Nick: Well, there is an etiquette 2.0 version that is very advanced. And I hesitate to even mention it because ...

Leah: Mention it!

Nick: You really gotta—you really gotta land it if you're gonna do it. And it really has to be done with care and in the right hands. But what you could say is that, "Oh, thank you so much for your offer. I really appreciate it. But on my big day, I would never dream of making my friends work—especially in heels. And so I just want you to come to my big day and enjoy yourself as a guest."

Leah: I want to fall on the floor, arms out. Chalk outline. Throw up the caution tape.

Nick: [laughs] So you could—you could go that direction, but you really have to land it and have very good plausible deniability about the tone you just used. That it's not about her wedding. No! "Oh! Oh, right. There was your wedding. Oh, yes, of course. Oh, I totally forgot all about that. No, I'm just talking about my big day." You'd really have to land it, but that would feel very satisfying if you could.

Leah: Inside my throat feels sweaty. I mean, what ...

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: I mean, it works. You could be like, "Hey, I really don't want any of my friends to have to work on my wedding. I just want you to be there."

Nick: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, real tricky to land that, but if you could, I do like that approach.

Leah: But then you're knocking one and two off your list.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I guess it comes down to—because I read it as if you were still thinking about having her be the person. And, you know, maybe it's a nice gift, and then you don't have to hire that person. And, you know, it's great for the budget. You know, all that. So if that's not a thing and you're not worried about any of that, I'd say try Nick's option.

Nick: Yeah, I like that. Also, here's my thought: if you hire this friend, no good will come of this. Something will go wrong. You will have no recourse. It just feels like it's problematic.

Leah: I'm also feeling that way.

Nick: But congratulations and best wishes on your big day.

Leah: Yes. Congratulations on your big day. And it should be about you, not your friend telling you who should be working what.

Nick: Yeah. So good luck. Keep us posted.

Leah: I'm thrilled for you.

Nick: So our next question is quote, "My mother is dear to us all, but we have a problem. Anytime we eat all together, she eats so slowly that there are six people sitting for 30 or more minutes waiting for her to finish. My family wants to get on their way after eating, but I insist that is rude and we all wait and wait. What is the time limit for someone to finish their meal, or is there one?"

Leah: I feel like how I would handle this may not be what the etiquette thing is.

Nick: Oh, how are you gonna do this?

Leah: What we don't want to have happen is that nobody wants to eat with mom anymore because it's taking too much time so people just stop showing up.

Nick: Right.

Leah: And we don't want Mom to eat faster than she normally eats. So I think we can reasonably say, "Hey, love eating with you. I know you love to eat slowly. After about 30 minutes, we gotta go." I don't think that's a problem.

Nick: Okay. Interesting. I think that's going to make her feel self-conscious about this, though.

Leah: She knows! Everybody's sitting there done eating. She doesn't not know.

Nick: My first thought is that we need to basically not let her talk during dinner so that she is only eating. So we can't let her get a word in edgewise. How do we like that?

Leah: Well, then—I mean, then we're just being completely direct. We're saying, "Mom, stop talking! You gotta eat. You're a slow eater."

Nick: Okay. Second option is only serve foods that have to be eaten quickly. So we're just gonna have ice cream now in cones that are a little too small.

Leah: I just feel like we're just—we're just dancing around the fact that Mom eats slow. And obviously, in my mind, we're at somebody's house. I'm not leaving Mom at a restaurant. At a restaurant, we're waiting.

Nick: Oh, no! [laughs]

Leah: This is at—this is at mom's house.

Nick: Can you imagine? We're out to dinner and be like, "All right, bye!"

Leah: "I left my mom at Applebee's."

Nick: Bye! Now I actually think the etiquette answer—and I think Miss Manners was asked about this some years ago. I seem to recall some similar question. And what I think she said is that someone should stay with her, but other people can be excused. So if people have to start homework or have to, like, do whatever they're doing, like, that's fine. But some family members should stay with Mom until she's done. And that duty can rotate. So all the family members can take turns in terms of who stays with Mom. And I think that would be the nice way to do it, because somebody should be with her. But maybe not everybody.

Leah: Yeah, in my mind, somebody stayed. Or somebody stayed in the kitchen.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: They don't necessarily have to be sitting. They could be putting things away. Somebody stays in the kitchen.

Nick: Company.

Leah: Company.

Nick: Yeah. We don't want to leave her totally alone. Right.

Leah: "Ma? Ronnie's gonna go. His kids have the thing tomorrow. I'm gonna hang out in the kitchen with you. I'm just gonna start cleaning up."

Nick: Yeah, I like that. That feels like the right vibe.

Leah: I feel good about that answer.

Nick: All right, so we solved this one. Okay, great. [laughs] So our next question is quote, "In the summer, we will often send out a group text to about 20 people during the week that says something like, 'Backyard barbecue on Sunday. Bring something to grill and something to share. No need to RSVP, just come if you are free.' On the designated day, we provide the hot grills, drinks, plates and napkins, and we put tablecloths on the table and enjoy a potluck with our friends. It's fun, casual, and we always have enough food. There will inevitably be a handful of people who respond in the group text telling me whether or not they can come. Is there a way I can word the invitation text that helps them not respond in the group text or at all? I really don't need to know who's coming. Our preparation is the same either way, and honestly, I enjoy it being a surprise. I know some people just want to express gratitude for the invitation, but should I request that all responses come only to me? Or do I need to send out 20 individual texts?"

Leah: I've never been on a group text or a group email that didn't get somebody replying all even when the emails or texts explicitly say, "Please don't reply all. Please don't respond. "Please only text me."

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: There's always one or two.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: If you send a group text, it will happen.

Nick: Yes. And there is no BCC for group texts.

Leah: No BCC.

Nick: Yet. Although Apple if you're listening, that's not a bad idea.

Leah: But we do have a cut and paste.

Nick: Yes. Although cut and paste is not good for our letter-writer because our letter-writer does not want to hear back from you. And if you send me an individual text, I will absolutely respond. I mean, I'm not gonna just ignore it. Like, I just wouldn't be able to ignore it. I would at the very least do a little tap back 'Thumbs up." Like, I'm not just gonna pretend I never saw your text. In a group text if you're like, "Don't respond," I won't respond then because it's in a group text and, like, I wouldn't. But if you actually individually message me, like, I can't not respond.

Leah: So you would do a group text with a "No need to respond. I love to be surprised."

Nick: Yes.

Leah: Send it out.

Nick: And maybe the "I love to be surprised" would be something to include because then it's like, oh, if you actually weigh in here, then you're ruining the surprise for me, and that is rude. So I think that might be the way to say to people, like, "Oh, please don't ruin the surprise."

Leah: That does make the most sense.

Nick: And I will also add, I think you are very unusual as a host who is not interested in knowing who is showing up at your house. That is a relatively unusual situation where you're like, "I don't want to know who is coming or how many, and my preparations are exactly the same." And so, I mean, how great that your entertaining can actually accommodate that, but I know for me, I would not enjoy the mystery. Like, for me, this is not a fun surprise.

Leah: I think that we could actually do a full, deep dive on this because there is something about the group text and the group email where we're sharing people's info who maybe hadn't wanted their phone number or email shared. So I think there's a whole other tunnel here we could go into.

Nick: Oh yeah. Oh, that's a good point. Hmm. Okay, let's put a pin in that. Yes, deep dive future episode. And for this then, yeah, then maybe the individual texts are better, cut and paste and be like, "Don't tell me if you're coming. Let it be a surprise." And maybe say that in the individual text so that they won't tell you. And maybe that's the way to do it.

Leah: And at least that way you know the responses will only come to you.

Nick: That's true. You won't have to burden the group. Okay. So I think we gave a lot of different possibilities here. Hopefully one of them will work for you.

Leah: One of them feels right for you.

Nick: Yeah. I think since we gave all the options.

Leah: Since we gave all of the options, hopefully one of them works.

Nick: One should work. Sure.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So our next thing is a bonkers etiquette story. And as you may recall, I have been requesting your most bonkers etiquette story for a segment we call Bonkers.

Leah: Bonkers! [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] So here's one. It is quote, "I recently stopped at my local pharmacy to pick up a few things. As I'm checking out, the cashier, upon scanning my prenatal vitamins, looks up at me and excitedly asks, 'Are you pregnant?' I was shocked because I thought we lived in a society where we don't ask people that, and I am not, nor do I look pregnant. I simply said no. But apparently she wants to delve deeper and asks, 'Oh, are they for a friend?' I say no again, and she keeps asking questions as if I owe a complete stranger my medical and personal history, all with other people waiting in line behind me. I made excuses and finally left, but it made me very uncomfortable, especially since I'm going through fertility treatments and have been unsuccessful so far. I wish I would have just told her it was none of her business, but I was taken off guard. Seriously, who asks this, and why should a cashier comment on any purchase—especially at a pharmacy?"

Leah: For sure rude!

Nick: For sure rude. I mean ...

Leah: #FSR. Unbelievable!

Nick: Just for clarification, we do not ask about pregnancy. Yes, we do live in a society where we do not ask this. Yeah, that's—that's the world we live in.

Leah: I had a whole joke about this that I used to do because it makes me so angry. And it's really unbelievable how much people ask.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And it's sort of like, are you not thinking about ...

Nick: Anyone else? [laughs]

Leah: A) it's not your business, but B) it's such a complicated issue. And as our letter-writer—a lot of people struggle with getting pregnant. Some people don't—you know, there's so many issues on the other end. It's a heavy, laden topic, and you're just asking as if it's of your business. It's unbelievable to me!

Nick: Yeah. I mean, it is shocking that—I feel like it's very well known, this etiquette rule. I feel like this is a very well-known one.

Leah: I would think so, too, but it happens so much. Or even if you're like—people say, "Do you have kids?" And you say no. And then they go—they just go on a whole thing about why you should have kids. And you're like, "You don't know my backstory."

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I had a friend who was trying to get pregnant, who and—I was with her once when somebody brought it up. I thought she was gonna have a—she was gonna cry. You know what I mean? And this stranger just wouldn't let up. People are out of their mind!

Nick: Out of their minds. Yes. And I mean, to ask once is rude, to ask again and again? I mean ...

Leah: And then to explain to people what you should and shouldn't do.

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: Excuse me? Excuse me?

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Also, I wish I was there because this is one where I don't have problems letting it fly.

Nick: Oh, you would step in on this?

Leah: I would step in on this one.

Nick: You would be like, "Excuse me. Let me jump in here."

Leah: "Let me just jump in. I have a few things I'd like to say."

Nick: So yes, this is a bonkers etiquette story.

Leah: Bonkers!

Nick: Totally bonkers. So thank you for sharing it with us and the world. As a reminder, don't do this. Please don't do this.

Leah: For real, thank you for sharing, because I think this happens to so many people and it upsets them and hurts their feelings, and it's good to get it out there so we can tell people don't do it.

Nick: And if this has happened to you, you are not alone.

Leah: You want to say to people, "Oh, let me get my doctor on the phone so we can talk about my medical records." Is that what you're ...

Nick: "Let's do a conference call. Yeah, would that work for you?" Yeah. I mean—so do you have bonkers etiquette stories for us, or a question, or a vent or a repent? We'll take it all! Send it to us through our website, WereYouRaisedByWolves.com. Or you can leave us a voicemail or send us a text message: (267) CALL-RBW. And we'll see you next time.

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!