Bringing Ice to Parties, Ignoring Dungeon Masters’ Quests, Texting at the Movies, and More

Nick: Hey, everybody. It's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And it's Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we had so many great questions from you all in the wilderness ...

Leah: [howls]

Nick: ... that we have a bonus episode. So here we go. Our first question is quote, "Last year at a friend's barbecue, they totally ran out of ice halfway through, so I volunteered to do an ice run. The hosts were super grateful, but to me it was just a no brainer. Fast forward to this year, I've got another invitation, and I'm thinking of showing up with ice—plus the usual booze, of course. Would this be seen as a chill, thoughtful move, or kind of overstepping? How can I make sure I'm bringing the good vibes without stepping on any toes?"

Leah: You know what's so funny is that my first thought was, "Of course, bring the ice. Such a great idea! Everybody needs ice for every party." And then I immediately felt why they felt like, "Oh, no. Someone's gonna take it like a comment."

Nick: Yeah. I mean, it could have a little flavor of, like, "Oh, remember last year when you totally blew it and were bad hosts?"

Leah: Yeah. Now I see why. In the beginning I was like, "Yay! And then I was like, "Oh, no. I get it."

Nick: But in general, it is not great to run out of ice. So if you are hosting an event, you really want to overbuy ice. Because, like, nothing ends a party faster than warm drinks.

Leah: But I also think bringing ice is always helpful.

Nick: Well, I think you want to know that that's cool. Like, if you're invited to a formal wedding at a hotel, you know, we're not bringing ice.

Leah: Well, I would hope that you would know that I would not bring ice to a formal wedding night.

Nick: Unless it was that one letter we got from those people who had the wedding on an island.

Leah: Oh, that's unbelievable.

Nick: And they had to bring everything on a ferry.

Leah: "Hey, can you carry everything across on a boat?"

Nick: Right.

Leah: "While it melts on you?"

Nick: Also, just sidebar, I think the general rule of thumb is it's a pound or two pounds per person in, like, a general, like, indoor party situation. Like, that's the general rule of thumb if it's, like, not a hot outdoor event and we're not using this ice to, like, chill cans.

Leah: I want to go back on what I said. I don't think I—I think if I was gonna bring ice, I would ask. "Do you need ice? I was gonna bring ice."

Nick: Yeah. "Oh, what can I bring? Should I bring a bag of ice?"

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Like, it could be in that kind of vibe.

Leah: I'm not gonna show up with ice. They may have a completely packed freezer.

Nick: Yeah. And I think if it's in addition to something else. And our letter-writer says this. Like, "I'm gonna bring ice, plus I'm gonna bring what I was gonna bring." And it's just sort of like a bonus item. I think that's also the right spirit.

Leah: Yes. Unless, like it's an outdoor event and then you just get a huge, like, a yeti cooler and you fill it with ice and you show up and everybody's like, "Yeah!"

Nick: You're the hero.

Leah: You're the ice hero and heroine.

Nick: Yeah, that works. Yeah.

Leah: I just personally like ice.

Nick: Yes. I mean, as Americans, we love ice.

Leah: We love ice.

Nick: This is what separates us from the Europeans, for sure. I mean, to know about our love of ice is to know American culture.

Leah: I thought you were gonna say this is what separates us from the animal kingdom.

Nick: [laughs] Well, depending on how you feel about Europeans.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: Kidding! Kidding! It's a joke. It's a joke. We love Europe. No, I think ice? Yeah, ice is very important. Oh, here's an idea. Maybe this is a bad one. What if you brought the ice but you kept it in your car just on standby, and so like it was available if they needed it.

Leah: My guess is that these people are not gonna forget ice this year.

Nick: Oh, you think this was a one off? It's like, "Oh, we just undershot. We just didn't realize."

Leah: Well, I think they're gonna realize, "Oh, we did this last year. Let's make sure we don't make this mistake twice."

Nick: I guess that's a question: Are these people under-purchasing-of-ice people? Is this just, like, their character? Like, we're just gonna under-purchase ice, or was this just a one-time mistake?

Leah: Well, I think our letter-writer is writing it in the—with the idea not that they're under-purchasing ice, but that one could always use more ice.

Nick: One can always use more ice. Yes.

Leah: But I feel like maybe we just stay away from the ice on the off chance that it makes our host feel like they—it reminds them. It somehow makes them feel insecure about last year.

Nick: It reminds them of their failures. Yes.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: Yes. Yeah. I mean, we don't want to be reminded of our failures. Yeah, that's true. Okay. And I guess you don't bring ice, but you are ready to run out and get it, should that be required. Maybe that's the strategy. Just being emotionally prepared to slip out of the party to grab ice.

Leah: If it was like a really close friend of mine, I'd be like, "You want me to bring ice?"

Nick: Okay. Yeah, so we're back to that.

Leah: But otherwise, I would just not bring ice to not remind them.

Nick: Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I feel like we don't want to ambush our hosts with ice that they didn't know about.

Leah: Or remind them of, as Nick says, past failures.

Nick: Yeah. Yeah. Or potentially current failures.

Leah: Failure in general.

Nick: Yeah. No one likes that. Okay.

Leah: I love how we took a very straightforward question and really ran all the answers.

Nick: This is what we do, Leah.

Leah: This is what we're here for.

Nick: So our next question is quote, "I spent some time over the summer with a work friend, and later found out that she would no longer be working with me anymore. So we made alternative arrangements to hang out and went on walks and got drinks together on occasion. It was a casual relationship, and we only saw each other once or twice a month, and we rarely text. The last time I saw her, we went for a walk and she fell and she injured her leg and shoulder. I felt terrible, and I helped her get first aid and had my partner drive us back to the house. I offered to drive her home, and I apologized profusely. I texted her later that day to see how she was feeling, and then again a few days later. I'm attaching the following message that she sent me a month later, and I'm feeling very confused and hurt by it. Her previous message from last month was just an update, and had no questions or need for me to follow up. What should I say?"

Nick: And so our letter-writer sent us the screenshot of the texts. So yeah, there's just sort of like a text from this friend, which does look like a bit of an update. And then at 10:28 pm, there's an animated GIF which says "ghosted" in very spooky letters. And then there's another animated GIF which is of a ghost, cartoon ghost in, like, a white sheet, and it says, "Are you ghosting me?" And then the friend writes, "Hey, what happened?" Question mark.

Leah: I really didn't like this.

Nick: Yeah, I don't love this at all.

Leah: Like, what?

Nick: Like, I can see how the intensity of the moment and the injury made this friend feel maybe closer than you felt. Like, there was something intense about this experience that made the friend feel like, "Oh, our relationship has evolved. It's leveled up." And you're feeling, "Oh, it has not."

Leah: I thought that, too. I mean, I see how that could be.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: However ...

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: We don't send a ghosting emoji as adults.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, I guess it's passive aggressive. I mean, is that what this is? Yeah.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Yeah. [laughs] So ...

Leah: It's also like our letter-writer took care of the situation. It's not like they left them there.

Nick: No.

Leah: Checked up on them that night.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: Checked up on them again.

Nick: Yeah. There was follow up after the fact.

Leah: And I feel if you're the kind of person who wants people to feel in a relationship with you in a certain way that you feel about them, you could say something to the point of, "Oh, we went through this forged in fires together of my injury. And I feel—oh, we went through this bonding experience. I miss chatting more weekly." Just something more to the point than a picture of a ghost.

Nick: Yes. I mean, I think it would have probably been better for this person to be like, "Hey, I wanted to give you an update," and just sort of reinitiate the conversation.

Leah: Yeah, "Checking in. Wanted to let you know how I was doing."

Nick: Yeah. And then if you ghosted that, well then, okay, all right, now you're ghosting. But this friend gave you no prompt. There was no need to necessarily respond. It wasn't like you left them hanging.

Leah: Yeah, it was—it had—the back and forth had finished.

Nick: Right. So—okay, so now I've received these two very passive-aggressive animated GIFs, plus a question: What happened? And it's sort of like you want to be like, "Well, nothing happened. You didn't ask me a question. We're not that close. That's the end of it." [laughs] Like, that's probably what you want to write, but obviously we cannot write that. So what do we do?

Leah: What happened was you stopped taking responsibility for your own feelings.

Nick: Oh, going deep!

Leah: [laughs] I mean, we can't say that. But that's what this feels like.

Nick: Yeah. I guess the response would just be like, "Oh, no! So sorry you felt ghosted. Definitely not my intention. How are things going?" And I think we just breeze right past that, and we move on and we get the update that they clearly want to give you.

Leah: I mean, that's what I think I would do.

Nick: Right.

Leah: But I think I would also click away in my brain that this person does not handle things in a straightforward, easy manner.

Nick: Yes. I mean, I don't think I'm actually friends with anybody who acts passive aggressive in this way. Like, I just don't have these people in my life. I think I've completely just eliminated any person who would do this because it's sort of like, yeah, it is childish. Like, if you're upset, like, just be direct about it. This indirect approach? Like, that doesn't work for me.

Leah: Also, you should see the ghost. It's in, like, block bubble lettering.

Nick: Oh. It's the typeface that's the problem?

Leah: It's the typeface that really bothered me, Nick. I absolutely understand what you said about—and I thought that, too, like, this person went through this thing. It's a vulnerable feeling, being injured in front of somebody else. Like, you definitely feel very vulnerable.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: So I understand why this person was like, "Oh, let's stay in touch." But I think out of that vulnerability, they behaved in a way where they put it on our letter-writer, and that's not cool.

Nick: Yes. I mean, I get that they felt lonely or maybe abandoned. Like, I get how we arrived here.

Leah: I get how we arrived here. But I, being the open, bleeding wound that I am, would be like, "Ah, you saw me fall! Talk to me more! I love you!"

Nick: "Now we're friends."

Leah: "I love you!" [laughs]

Nick: Right. [laughs] Yeah. I mean, that's what I would get from that. Yeah, that's true.

Leah: But not passive aggressive.

Nick: Yeah. Also, we only got a screenshot. And these are obviously animated, and so I imagine the animation actually makes it more maddening than just seeing a still image. Like, I'm sure this ghost does a little "Wooo" on the screen, and I feel like that really just twists the knife a little bit.

Leah: I almost feel like you could text back and be like, "Did you mean to send this to me?"

Nick: Oh! Oh, that's interesting.

Leah: I actually got a text from somebody that was so weird recently that I said, "Was this meant for me?" And you know what? It was not.

Nick: Ah! Okay, that's actually very interesting because the "what happened" is a question which suggests that something happened. But when you read this thread, like, nothing happened, and so clearly this cannot be for you. Oh, that gives you a little plausible deniability. So, like, "Hey, hope you're doing well. Was that text meant for me?" Question mark. That works.

Leah: It's possible that they just went on—they had been on a date and the date didn't work out, and that's how they were dealing with it.

Nick: Oh, okay. I mean, that's also not great, but that's a different question.

Leah: Yeah, but that's not our—that has nothing to do with our letter-writer.

Nick: Right. Yeah. Okay. Oh, I like—oh, interesting. Okay, that's interesting.

Leah: And I'm only bringing this up because this literally just happened to me and it really—it ended up not being for me at all.

Nick: That is true. Yeah. I can imagine that this was sent to the wrong person. Had not thought of that. That's actually very plausible. And if it was meant for you, asking the question does put them on notice, which is like, oh, what you sent was unexpected. Which also has the desired effect.

Leah: So many options.

Nick: Lot of options.

Leah: But I think what we've agreed with is that we understand why our letter-writer feels irritated.

Nick: We do.

Leah: We understand that if this text was for them, our person was acting out of feeling vulnerable, and they didn't—if this text was meant for them, they didn't handle it the best way possible.

Nick: Right.

Leah: And that our letter-writer could either be like, "Is this for me?" Or take the high road and be like, "Oh, so sorry. Been busy. Checking in. How are you?"

Nick: Yeah. I guess I like the high road. That's probably the road I'd take. But we then note this about this person and we're like, noted.

Leah: Yeah, note it, because this is gonna pop up in other ways.

Nick: Oh, yes.

Leah: How about, "Ooh!" Is that a ghosty? "Ooh, yes!"

Nick: Yes. "This will haunt you."

Leah: [laughs] Good one.

Nick: So our next question is quote, "I have an interesting topic for discussion: The game Dungeons and Dragons. I have a group of six close friends that I play with every week. My friend is the dungeon master and runs the story for us, while myself and the other players get to explore the world he has set up. Last week, the dungeon master had spent a lot of time to prepare a fun cave adventure for the players, but myself and the others had other tasks we wanted to get to and chose not to go into the cave. This upset the dungeon master, and he called us out for not wanting to play the game correctly. My question is about the right etiquette to have at the table. Is it okay that the dungeon master got upset with us? Shouldn't his position be to accommodate the players, or should we work harder to take his hints and do what he suggests for us to do?"

Leah: What is very funny is that the first time I read this ...

Nick: Okay.

Leah: I read, "Prepared a lot of time doing the fun cave adventure, but myself and others had other tasks we wanted to get to." And I was like, "Oh, they had to go run an errand, so they had to cut it short."

Nick: Laundry.

Leah: So they should have maybe just said, "I have a time constraint on Wednesday, I have to go to the bank, et cetera." And I was like, "I think we can handle this, no problem." And then I was like, "Oh."

Nick: No, no.

Leah: Tasks in Dungeons and Dragons.

Nick: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we have wizards to battle. You know, other things. Right. So first, before we get going, an apology to our listeners who may be more familiar with Dungeons and Dragons. I know there is specific terminology that's used, it is important that we use the correct terminology. I have only played once. It was a long time ago. I'm not very familiar. So my apologies if I kind of get it wrong. It's not intentional.

Leah: I know. I played it once and I had so much fun! I had the time of my life. I was like, "I'm not leaving." And I actually wrote to a friend of mine who plays Dungeons and Dragons regularly to try to bring on a pro.

Nick: Okay. Oh, you're bringing in a ringer.

Leah: I wanted to bring in a ringer. Just so—I mean, well, I wanted to have the appropriate knowledge before answering. And I haven't heard back from her yet, so I'm just out here with, you know ...

Nick: She's on a quest.

Leah: She is on a quest, and I'm on a quest to find her.

Nick: So how do we describe Dungeons and Dragons for our listeners who may not be familiar? What is it?

Leah: It's a game.

Nick: It is a game.

Leah: Oh, I don't want to—I mean, it's also a lifestyle.

Nick: Okay. True. [laughs] It's a way of life.

Leah: It's very fun and imaginative.

Nick: Yes. I mean, it's a multiplayer game, and the idea is that there's some quest that all the players are going on together. They're sort of a band of quest goers.

Leah: A fellowship.

Nick: Fellowship. Right. Yes, that's the word.

Leah: And you are all characters, and you have particular strengths and weaknesses.

Nick: Right. And so depending on your strengths and weaknesses, that will affect how the game unfolds.

Leah: And the dungeon master is the person who sets the game up in advance.

Nick: Right. Yeah, so the dungeon master can either come up with their own story, or there are sort of stories that are—I guess you could buy or are available.

Leah: Like a template? A template?

Nick: Maybe a template, Right. And they develop the plot, and they sort of help the game along. They describe the environments, the cultures. And in the game, there's a lot of, I guess, what are called non-player characters that the players will encounter. So that could be, like, a friendly innkeeper or, like, a mysterious wizard. And so the dungeon master will also sort of be those characters that come up.

Leah: Yeah, they're—they're like a very good storyteller.

Nick: Yes. Yes, a good dungeon master is a very good storyteller.

Leah: And so here we have the dungeon master set up this world.

Nick: Yes.

Leah: And really wanted the players to go into the cave.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, who knows what's in this cave?

Leah: And the players chose to go do other tasks.

Nick: Right. Which were not errands.

Leah: Not errands, but a part of the adventure.

Nick: Right. And so I guess the question is, like, is that cool?

Leah: Is that cool?

Nick: I would say it's a lot of work being dungeon master. I think it is a lot of work, a lot of responsibility. And so I think we want to acknowledge their efforts. And I guess a question is: Did we do that when we were like, "No, thank you" to the cave? And maybe the dungeon master did not feel appreciated. And so that's something to note.

Leah: Yeah. I think that's very astute, because this is one of those ones where you see it both ways. You see yes, the characters wanted to do other tasks. And then I also see the dungeon master was very excited about this cave they set up.

Nick: Yeah. So I guess it's important to know that there's a lot of improv that happens in this game. And part of that, I think, is just being flexible. So the dungeon master should realize, like, okay, you know, we're gonna—we're gonna save this cave for another day. The players don't want to do it right now. I mean, that would have been one response.

Leah: Yeah. I think that's a good response for the dungeon master to be like, "Okay, they went with another way. I'm gonna bring it back next week."

Nick: [laughs] For sure. Oh, yeah. No, this cave is coming back.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: Yeah. We're not totally banning this cave.

Leah: And then at the same time, we can recognize that they were just—they really had their heart in this cave.

Nick: Yes. I mean, I guess as the players, maybe a nice response would be like, "Hey, that cave sounds super cool. Could we get to some of these other tasks first and then we'll come back to the cave?" So it's like we're not giving up on the cave. We love the cave. The cave is great, but there's a couple other side things that we want to kind of go down those threads first.

Leah: But it does seem like the player—it is the player's choice.

Nick: I think it's collaborative. I think it's a group effort.

Leah: It's a group effort, but I think that if the players didn't want to go in the cave right away, that should be ...

Nick: The dungeon master cannot force you into the cave.

Leah: They cannot force you into the cave.

Nick: It has to be consensual.

Leah: But we can also see how the dungeon master's feelings were hurt.

Nick: Yes. Also, I think it's important for any creative pursuit, sometimes you have to kill your darlings. You know this expression?

Leah: Yes, I know this expression very well, Nick.

Nick: [laughs] Right. So it actually comes from William Faulkner, I think. And the idea is, when you're writing, you know, you might have a great scene or a great character or a great plot point, but if it actually isn't sort of serving the larger piece, even though you love it, sometimes you just have to, like, delete it.

Leah: Well, that's what I'm saying about if all the players were like, "We're really into this wizard over here."

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: We just gotta go with the flow.

Nick: Yeah, I think you have to go with the flow.

Leah: I also love that we're really just deeply guessing.

Nick: We are deeply guessing. Yeah. Well, because we don't really—I mean, Dungeons and Dragons is not really my thing.

Leah: Well, we ...

Nick: I have a hard enough time with, like, the real world.

Leah: [laughs] I—you know, let's just—let's just check my email one more time. No, we still didn't get it. I think that we used—we were open about the fact that neither of us are familiar with the world.

Nick: I don't think we have to be familiar with the world to know the right answer here, though, because this is just about respecting people's feelings.

Leah: Yes, that's what I was gonna say. I think that we used our knowledge of the real world, and then we're like, we would still respect people's feelings, and we did the best we could.

Nick: Yes. And I think this is an important point, which is that on our show, we don't want to just give hard and fast, black and white etiquette rules. We want to give people the tools to solve any etiquette problem, even if it's something you're not familiar with, like Dungeons and Dragons. And so we are using the tools in our etiquette toolbox, and we're using those on something that's unfamiliar to us, hopefully coming to an answer that is polite and correct. And I think we've done that.

Leah: I feel okay.

Nick: Yeah. I don't think this is wrong.

Leah: I feel like we gave it our best.

Nick: Oh. Well, I mean, that's the best we could do. Yeah. No, I think—I think we did good here. I think even our Dungeons and Dragons aficionados in the audience will realize okay, yeah. No, they were—they were onto something. They used all the wrong terminology, and that's not how the game is played, but in terms of the etiquette, they're correct.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: Because I hope that we have a lot of Dungeons and Dragons listeners.

Nick: I think we have a few, for sure. Yes. Okay, if you're a listener and you're into D&D, what would Leah and I's character be? And what would our traits be? I'm curious.

Leah: So exciting!

Nick: I actually—I'm worried now that I just asked.

Leah: No, I'm glad that you asked, because I think this is—this will be great.

Nick: Yeah. So curious. Curious about that. So our next question is quote, "On my way walking to work this morning, I looked down and realized that smeared across the front of my shoe was some 'dog' poop."

Nick: And then they did put the word 'dog' in question marks, which is a little alarming. But we're gonna assume for the purpose of this question that this was dog poop. Okay. So then our letter-writer continues.

Nick: "Naturally, I wanted to get it off my white work shoes ASAP, but I was not carrying any wipes or tissues with me. On the ground near the curb happened to be a piece of receipt trash, and I pondered using it to wipe off my shoe. But by using the piece of trash, would the piece of trash then become my responsibility, so then it was up to me to carry it along until I found a trash can? Or since it was already littered, would it have been okay to wipe off the poo and then put it back on the ground? I didn't feel good about using it and then putting it back on the ground, so since I didn't want to carry a piece of trash with poop on it, I opted to just keep walking until sometime later when I spotted a large enough leaf, which I did feel more comfortable using to wipe my shoe and then put back on the ground. I'm not sure how often this situation would even come up, but is my instinct that by touching or otherwise engaging with a piece of someone else's trash, it then becomes my responsibility to deal with? Or could I have guilt-free wiped off my shoe about 15 minutes earlier?"

Leah: I think that if you pick up trash and use it to wipe something or engage with it in any way, it then becomes your trash.

Nick: I think it does. Yeah.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Right? Why is that?

Leah: Because it's like, oh, we have acknowledged there's trash here and it's in the wrong place.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And then we just put it back with that knowledge.

Nick: Yeah. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Because if you ignore the trash, then there's plausible deniability that you didn't see it, but when you touch it, you're like, oh, no, you know it's there.

Leah: You know it's there, and you know it's in the wrong place.

Nick: And I guess etiquette at the end of the day is often about trying to leave the world better than you found it?

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Or at least the same condition. But you've left a piece of trash with poop on it. So I guess that's not the same, right?

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: You've sullied the receipt.

Leah: I just don't think we pick up trash and then put it back down, regardless of what we did to it.

Nick: Yeah, but the leaf seems fine because that's not trash.

Leah: Part of nature.

Nick: Part of nature. Also, isn't this the worst, stepping in poop?

Leah: Oh, it is.

Nick: I was actually looking. In New York City, do you know how many dogs there are in New York City? What the estimate is?

Leah: Hit me with it.

Nick: 600,000 dogs.

Leah: How lovely!

Nick: That's like if everybody in the city of Tucson was a dog.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: [laughs]

Leah: I just think that 600,000 families who get to experience so much joy.

Nick: Yeah, it's like a third of New York households have a pet. Yeah.

Leah: How wonderful!

Nick: It's a lot of dogs, so there's a lot of opportunity for dog stuff.

Leah: I—you know, when people don't pick up their dog poo, I just think, "What is wrong?"

Nick: Would you rank that higher or lower than not returning your shopping cart?

Leah: You know, it really depends on where the dog poo is.

Nick: [laughs] Okay.

Leah: Because some places it's like, into the woods. You know, you're like, "I get what's going on here."

Nick: But yeah, smack dab, center sidewalk.

Leah: Smack dab central sidewalk. You're like, come on!

Nick: Come on! I know. So—okay, so I think our letter-writer's instinct is correct here.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, what else is there to say?

Leah: Well, I think they nailed it. They did the appropriate thing.

Nick: They did the appropriate thing. Okay. So sorry this happened to you, though.

Leah: And I'm sorry. And as a person who wears white shoes, I get it.

Nick: Yeah. Although if you wear white shoes, this is part of the deal. You gotta know that you're making a bold move.

Leah: It's very daring.

Nick: You're wearing white outdoors.

Leah: Very daring.

Nick: I mean, people wonder, like, oh, why do New Yorkers wear black? It's because the city is filthy, and we're trying to hide that.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: That's why we do it. We don't wear white jeans. Nobody wears white jeans in New York City. Can you imagine sitting down anywhere?

Leah: No.

Nick: Impossible.

Leah: Impossible.

Nick: No, we don't do it. No.

Leah: Well, you know, I carry my white whites to shows, and then I swap out.

Nick: Yeah. Of course. You can't actually, like, be on the public streets in white shoes.

Leah: I recently heard a lyric to a song that I love so much, which essentially was, "Yeah, I wear a lot of black. When they make a darker color, I'll wear that one." [laughs]

Nick: [laughs] Yeah. Agreed.

Leah: Fall Out Boy. Fall Out Boy? Giving quotes.

Nick: So our next thing is an etiquette crime report.

Leah: Whoo whoo whoo.

Nick: Okay. I mean, that's not the European siren I'm seeking, but like that.

Leah: Oh, thank you so much.

Nick: Yeah. No, you've been practicing.

Leah: I just went with my emotions.

Nick: I mean, that's the best way to do it.

Leah: [laughs]

Nick: So as you know, we have a special website, EtiquetteCrime.com, where you can submit an etiquette crime. And so we just got one across the blotter and it's quote, "I was at the movie theater, but tragically, I could not hear or see due to the oblivious behavior of the two sitting next to me—let's call them Chad and Lisa. Not only were they talking, not only were they texting, not only were their phones on full brightness, not only was silent mode off so the movie was punctuated by ding, ding, ding, they were texting each other!"

Leah: Oh!

Nick: Is there anything else to say?

Leah: I would have lost my mind.

Nick: [laughs] Well, why are they texting each other?

Leah: Nick, there is no logic. Why is there—why are their things on full brightness? Why did they leave their dingers on? Why are they out when they just clearly want to be hanging out with each other?

Nick: You know, when you, like, leave a small town and it's like, "Now exiting Smallville?" We need that on people's houses, which is like, you're now leaving your house. Outside this door is not your house.

Leah: There are other people here.

Nick: So you have to act like you're not at home because you're not.

Leah: I couldn't—the dinging, and then I also—when people are in a dark space and they pull up a phone and they leave it on full brightness, both of those things just shoot me through the roof.

Nick: Yeah, I think the texting each other without it on silent mode, I mean, that's definitely next level.

Leah: It's next level.

Nick: Like, you—you're on your phone, so you'll know if you get a text message. We don't need the audible thing.

Leah: Did you think in some way this was better than just talking to each other?

Nick: Well, no. They're also doing that.

Leah: That's true. They're also doing that. They're also doing that.

Nick: We also have that.

Leah: We would like to be rude as possible on every medium.

Nick: Yeah. No, they're really achieving. So I'm sorry this happened. This is indeed an etiquette crime.

Leah: Etiquette crime!

Nick: So as a reminder, listeners: If you've been the victim or the witness to an etiquette crime, EtiquetteCrime.com It's a great place to put it.

Leah: Yeah, let us vent it out.

Nick: And of course, if you have questions, vents or repents, we'll take it all. Send it to us through our website, WereYouRaisedByWolves.com. Or you can leave us a voicemail or send us a text message: (267) CALL-RBW. And we'll see you next time.

Leah: Bye!

Nick: Bye!