Extra Helpings: Texting Late at Night, Escaping Dinner Parties, Regifting Dreamcatchers, and More

[Musical Introduction]

Nick: Hey everybody. It's Nick Leighton.

Leah: And I'm Leah Bonnema.

Nick: And we're in New York today and we had so many great questions come in that we have a bonus episode.

Leah: It's so exciting.

Nick: So here are some questions from the wilderness.

Leah: My favorite place.

Nick: Our first question is: "How late is too late to text?"

Leah: I think this is a great question because I think it's actually very flexible.

Nick: OK, all right. You like that there are no set rules for this.

Leah: Yeah. Because I think it really depends on who you're texting with.

Nick: Okay. I think that you can text at any time, because the reason why I think people are asking this question is you don't want to disturb someone...

Leah: ...when they're sleeping.

Nick: And so with modern technology, you don't have to be disturbed. I turn off my phone.

Leah: We turn off our phones. But some people don't turn off their phone.

Nick: That's on them if a text comes in the middle of the night.

Leah: Except for there are a few people I know who are checking on family and like or have the thing going on in their life where I know they have to have their phones on all the time.

Nick: Well, with modern technology, there's a way to let those people's texts go through.

Leah: I don't think those people know those things.

Nick: OK.

Leah: I just wouldn't text certain people that I know maybe don't turn their phones off late.

Nick: Ok. So you know who these people are.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: OK. So then for you and these people, how late is late? Nine?

Leah: Nine.

Nick: Nine.

Leah: For me, I'm on an opposite schedule. So I text most of my friend group, who are comics, until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. And then I would consider it weird if I got a text from them at like 7:00 a.m. I'd be like, "Was there a crisis?" You know what I mean?

Nick: "What is wrong?"

Leah: You know, when dealing with civilians, as I call them...

Nick: Muggles.

Leah: Yeah...with the muggles. I try to be more aware of other people's schedules.

Nick: Yeah. I think if you don't wanna be disturbed by text and you're not anticipating someone dying in your life or you have some, you know, child who hasn't come home that night, I think you don't have to have your phone on and be disturbed, in which case send those texts.

Leah: I think some people with kids feel like they need to have their phones on all the time in case, which I understand.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: So that's why I'm careful with people especially with teenage children who are driving and just making wild choices.

Nick: Okay. All right. So, 9:00 feels safe.

Leah: Yep.

Nick: And then after 8 a.m?

Leah: I mean, if your texting somebody before 10:00 a.m...

Nick: Okay.

Leah: It seems aggressive.

Nick: It has to be an emergency.

Leah: It's an emergency or like something that needs to get done ASAP.

Nick: Okay. Well, for you out there, if you want to text me, you can do it at anytime because I'll get to it when I want. Our next question...

Leah: I also always feel obligated to respond to people right away, so that's on me.

Nick: Do you have your read receipts on or are you a normal person?

Leah: I'm a normal person.

Nick: OK. Yeah. For anyone who's read receipts on, here's the thing that read receipts. Sidebar: read receipts are great if you want to make the point that I have seen your message and I'm actively choosing to ignore you.

Leah: That is weird. You don't get those from me, right?

Nick: No. No.

Leah: Okay. So I hope I don't have that on.

Nick: No, but I only turn reading receipts for specific people that I want to make the point.

Leah: Oh, you do it on purpose.

Nick: Yeah, I do it but on a per person basis where it's like, "Oh, I've gotten your message. I am choosing not to respond."

Leah: Wow.

Nick: Yeah, that's a little... That's varsity level.

Leah: This is a whole new... I'm taking classes.

Nick: Yeah. Our next question is from somebody who feels trapped at dinner. So she asks, "Is there a polite way to excuse myself during a sit down lunch or dinner at a friend's house? If everyone has finished eating, but the conversation drags on for another hour or two, can I excuse myself and leave if the hostess hasn't made a move to dismiss us?"

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: I also... I usually can't socialize a lot. You know what that means?

Nick: Because you don't know how?

Leah: No, because I... My work time is usually during people's social time.

Nick: I see.

Leah: And so I want to see friends who have a different schedule, so I'll say "I can come, but I have to leave. And I'm telling you in advance so you don't think it's, you know, rude or know that I just just decided to leave." So, I also think you could, if especially if it's a place where you're like, "Oh, I go to these people's houses and it just go on." You just say, "I'd love to come. I would love to catch up. Thank you for inviting me. I have a hard out because I have a blank later."

Nick: So, plant the seed early.

Leah: Yeah, plant the seed early...

Nick: Yeah. That's good.

Leah: ...so everybody knows. And then just make sure you stick to whatever your blank was.

Nick: You gotta stick with your lie. That's true.

Leah: Oh, don't make it a lie. Make it a thing that is, you know, a thing you have to do. Maybe not at that at that time exactly.

Nick: "So there's a thing."

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: "I need to get my affairs in order."

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: But we just don't have to say when that thing has to happen.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: But it is happening. That way, it's not a lie.

Nick: Right, OK. I do need to prepare my will.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Doesn't necessarily have to happen at 8:00 p.m. tonight.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: But also people don't need to know what it is.

Nick: Yeah. You should actually never give a specific excuse. Just say you unfortunately do need to leave by a certain time.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Because if you're explaining, you're losing.

Leah: Yes. And it's a hard lesson to learn. I still do it.

Nick: Right? And I think you have to stay through dessert. Like, you have to stay through the normal progression of the meal.

Leah: Right.

Nick: But I think once there's a dessert or coffee, especially if it's in a secondary location? Never go to the secondary location.

Leah: That's for dinners and...

Nick: ...kidnaping.

Leah: ...and kidnaping.

Nick: So if they move to the living room or the lanai, you should excuse yourself at that time.

Leah: I love the word "lanai" as a side note.

Nick: I wish I had a lanai.

Leah: I wish I had a lanai.

Nick: That is the one thing I'm missing in New York. I'm missing a washer dryer and a lanai.

Leah: Uh, a lanai.

Nick: I mean, that's the dream.

Leah: My Nana and PapPap used to go to Florida and then I would come visit them and they had a lanai and it was like, "oh." I just loved it.

Nick: What's not to like about a lanai?

Leah: It's the most amazing place.

Nick: It's paradise. Our next question. "How do you tell someone that their fly's down?"

Leah: I feel like when... You did such a good job on making it very casual about the boogie that I think this could be a thing that you answer.

Nick: And that's a reference to some previous episode if you don't know what Leah's talking about.

Leah: Because I actually did that this week. I was like, "oh, you just have a thing."

Nick: Yeah. Gotta be cool about it. Yeah. I think you want to just be direct, discreet, but you don't want to use euphemisms. I looked this one up online because I was like, this seems so obvious why somebody asking us this question.

Leah: No, this happens a lot. And I've been with people and I don't know how to... I know how to say it to friends.

Nick: Right.

Leah: And it's the people that are just not quite friends that you don't want them to feel uncomfortable or to be like, "I've been staring at your crotch." But that's not what I was doing. I just noticed.

Nick: Yeah. Online, there was a list of things you should say. These are things you should not say. One of the things is: "Your pod bay door's open, HAL." So, I mean a 2001 reference? A little dated. Not everyone's gonna get that. Also, that's insane.

Leah: Also, you'd have to explain it first and then by then...

Nick: You're like, "it's over," and then you start singing, "Daisy, Daisy..." And then the second thing you should not say, which has been suggested on the Internet, "You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones." How are these ideas?

Leah: "Your pantalones...abierta."

Nick: So, don't say that. Yeah, I think you just casually make eye contact and be like, "oh, you fly's down."

Leah: OK.

Nick: And you just leave it there.

Leah: "Your fly's down."

Nick: Is there a female equivalent to this? Like, your bra strap doesn't come undone.

Leah: No, I think it's also fly. Women don't want to have their flies open either.

Nick: Sure, okay. And so the same rule applies for women?

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Yeah, OK. So our next question is: "Is it rude to give someone an unusually large surprise gift that would require a person to totally rearrange their house like an enormous painting?"

Leah: I don't even understand this question.

Nick: Well, it sounds like our letter writer has received an unusually large surprise gift.

Leah: It seems like our letter writer has received a large painting.

Nick: Yeah. So I actually know somebody who has had something like this happen to them. They got a photo for their wedding that was taken at their wedding and the gift giver was in the photo.

Leah: Oh.

Nick: So, that's nice, I guess.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: It's a little weird to give a gift where you're in the photo...

Leah: "Here's a picture of me for your house."

Nick: But it was also 4 feet by 3 feet...

Leah: Oh, my goodness.

Nick: ...which is large.

Leah: Yeah. That's like a whole New York apartment.

Nick: It is a large piece. So it is definitively provocative to give such a large thing...

Leah: It definitely is.

Nick: ...that requires some rearranging.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Unless you really knew the people. And you really knew that this was correct.

Leah: Yeah, and you knew this space and their taste.

Nick: And I'm pretty sure that didn't happen here. So, yeah, it's rude to give this gift for sure.

Leah: I mean, it's just wild to me that people are giving large gifts, so there's a part of it that I find very exciting.

Nick: Oh, it's the size that you find particularly...

Leah: Well, it's just extravagant gifts. You're like, "This is amazing."

Nick: Well, they're not always expensive. It's just the volume and the physical size, I think is the problem.

Leah: Like, how did they get it there?

Nick: I mean, if I gave you a sectional couch in green corduroy that I bought for a dollar...

Leah: Can you imagine...

Nick: Not an extravagant gift, but it's a sectional.

Leah: I'm in a walk-up.

Nick: Right. Yeah, and I'm not gonna deliver it to you. Curbside only.

Leah: "Do you want to come get it?"

Nick: Right.

Leah: "No."

Nick: So, I guess the question is, what do you do about this gift that you've received?

Leah: I would be like, "oh, unbelievable." I feel like I would be like, if you have a garage, I'd be like, "thank you so much."

Nick: You do have to say thank you.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: And you send a thank you note.

Leah: "Thank you so much."

Nick: And then, yeah, you got to just sort of hide it.

Leah: Yeah. And then be like, "oh, looking for a place for it."

Nick: Yeah. "I just haven't found the right spot."

Leah: Yeah. Maybe if you have a barn you could put it on one of the barn walls?

Nick: Or a garbage.

Leah: I think you have to keep it for a while.

Nick: You have to keep it long enough for them to stop asking about it.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Because they will. This person that gives you this horrible gift will absolutely follow up with you.

Leah: I mean you may just have to move.

Nick: Yes, change your phone number. Move. Yeah. So, I think you say thank you and you try and bury this thing. Although if it's large, like we're going to put it? And in York City, if you received something like this, like where are you going to put it?

Leah: I don't think this could be in New York City.

Nick: Yeah, No.

Leah: I can imagine that a New Yorker... People know the price of... We don't have wall space.

Nick: We don't have walls.

Leah: Yeah, we don't even have walls.

Nick: It's all around domes here. Yeah. So I think it's rude. I think you say thank you. And I think you got to leave it at that.

Leah: I also think as a gift giver, it's important to not give gifts that give people jobs.

Nick: Right. That's a very good point.

Leah: And if I have to move furniture or travel somewhere, unless that's the gift, you know? Because obviously as the gifter, I want to make you happy.

Nick: But if I'm assembling something or replastering or rearranging the furniture in my house?

Leah: Yeah, it seems...

Nick: ...too far.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: OK. I think that's a very good point. Yeah. When a gift becomes effort.

Leah: Yeah. "Oh now I have a job, then it wasn't a gift."

Nick: "Thanks." Right. Yeah. So "thanks." Our next question is: "In my building's laundry room, people regularly forget to take their stuff out of the washer and dryer. How long should I wait?"

Leah: I get stressed reading this question because this has...

Nick: Does this hit home?

Leah: This hits home.

Nick: Okay. Walk me through it. Let's talk it out.

Leah: Obviously, I don't have a washer dryer in my building.

Nick: Okay. So where do you go? How does laundry get done?

Leah: There's a laundromat. I've also figured out the days in which the people who do that are no longer there because it was so stressful to me because I don't want to take it out.

Nick: So you're like, "Lisa is always there on Tuesdays."

Leah: "Lisa is always there on Tuesdays and she leaves her stuff in too long and I can't handle that pressure."

Nick: Wow.

Leah: But I was staying with a friend, actually in Los Angeles and I was with my friend's apartment, so I want her building... I don't want to set anything off in her building. But people... every single machine had clothes in and it was finished and they were just all taken up with people that just left their stuff in the machine.

Nick: So how long do we wait?

Leah: Well, I didn't. I panicked. That's why I think it's a great question. I waited. I don't live there. I didn't want to start a war.

Nick: So, how long did you wait?

Leah: I waited until some lady came.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: I was like, "oh, is that yours?" I'm just standing there.

Nick: So, four hours later...

Leah: I actually started pacing around in a circle in the building and I was like talking about laundry really loud. I just don't understand what people are doing. Don't you think about the other people?

Nick: So people definitely space it out. And we're gonna assume for the moment that people are not doing this maliciously.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: We'll just pretend as the baseline.

Leah: Well, they're not malicious. They're just self centered.

Nick: Okay. I mean, the Venn diagram overlap...there's sufficient overlap. I think there is a range of opinions on this topic, which is obviously a hot topic. On the low end, five minutes is the minimum. You cannot go below five minutes. Five minutes is the minimum.

Leah: Oh, yeah. Wait five minutes.

Nick: All right. So, you can't go below five. Some people think you should wait up to half an hour.

Leah: That seems unreasonable.

Nick: That seems crazy. That seems crazy.

Leah: Because nobody has... Who is that extra amount of time?

Nick: Yeah, and if you haven't gone there by half an hour? I mean, come on. What are you doing? So. All right. So we agree that somewhere between five minutes and 30 minutes. So ten minutes feels good...

Leah: The thing is it sometimes you don't know when the clothing ended.

Nick: True.

Leah: You just come in and there's clothes sitting.

Nick: That's true. Yeah. So what you do about that? So then the clock has to start when you arrive.

Leah: Right.

Nick: So that's when the timer starts. So I think ten minutes is good. At the ten minute mark, it's sort of like you've given the person an ample opportunity to come and get their stuff.

Leah: Right.

Nick: So then once you do take stuff out, I think it's important to: If it's in the washer, do not put in a dryer. It needs to go into a basket.

Leah: Yep.

Nick: Like, that's important. And if it comes out of the dryer, I guess you just have to sort of do that nicely.

Leah: I would fold it, but I'm an insane person.

Nick: Fold it?

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: You should not touch people's laundry.

Leah: If I took it out and I don't want it to wrinkle.

Nick: Are you going to fold underwear? Like, where's the line?

Leah: I'll fold underwear.

Nick: Don't... Don't... No... Hmm.

Leah: People come in, I'll be like, "I was folding your underwear."

Nick: Yeah, OK, So, don't do that because that's crazy.

Leah: I don't want them to have wrinkles.

Nick: I feel like the societal hazard you are causing by folding a stranger's underwear supersedes the hazard of wrinkled clothing.

Leah: Life is such... so many hard choices.

Nick: This is not a hard choice.

Leah: I just don't want to be... I don't want them to have wrinkles.

Nick: Yeah, but I don't want you — stranger crazy lady — touching my underwear.

Leah: Well, how am I getting it out of the dryer?

Nick: You grab the whole thing in a big bunch and it goes into the wire basket.

Leah: What if they're no basket?

Nick: Where is there no basket?

Leah: Lots of places.

Nick: Really?

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Okay. Like a laundromat does not have a basket?

Leah: Well, my friend's building had no baskets.

Nick: Well, that's a shame. Oh, so what do you do then?

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Oh, God. Can you put on top of the dryer?

Leah: You have to put on top of the dryer, which who knows what's been on there.

Nick: I think I go on top of the dryer.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: I mean, being late has consequences.

Leah: It does. It should.

Nick: So, you know...

Leah: I shouldn't feel guilty for it. It's your fault for being late.

Nick: Yeah. Yeah. No, don't make apologies. So I think the answer is gotta wait at least ten minutes, no more than 30. And you have to try and be as respectful with the clothes as possible without folding them, Leah Bonnema.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: Thank you. Our next question is...

Leah: What if it's an item that seems like it's really delicate and someone should fold it.

Nick: If somebody put a very delicate item in the dryer, they're an animal.

Leah: Okay.

Nick: So I don't think you have to fold it. Our next question: "I have Global Entry and my friend does not. If we go on an international trip together and we come back, do I have to have to wait for him in line in immigration or can I meet him on the other side?" So Global Entry, we know what this is?

Leah: Yes.

Nick: This is sort of expedited immigration. It sounds like this person doesn't want to wait for his friend.

Leah: I don't think they should.

Nick: You don't think they should wait?

Leah: Why should they wait?

Nick: Well, if you're sharing a cab back from the city...

Leah: Just wait on the other side.

Nick: I think that's probably fine of you really wanted to. I mean, I guess is if your friend needed to be kept company.

Leah: I mean, how is that your responsibility?

Nick: Well, you're friends with this person.

Leah: I mean, that's what I mean, if you feel like hanging out, then do so.

Nick: Right.

Leah: But if you don't want to...

Nick: Like, "we've we've been on a flight together for eight hours. I have no more small talk left. I'll see you on the other side."

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: "See you at baggage claim."

Leah: Also, you probably got Global Entry because you hate waiting in line.

Nick: Valid.

Leah: So why should you do something you hate?

Nick: Oh, the student becomes the master. Yes, I agree. Yes, you know this is true.

Leah: I have a lot of friends who have like Pre-Check and all that stuff when we travel for comedy and I should have gotten it done, but I'll add it to the list.

Nick: Do you still not?

Leah: No, I still got to do it. And it never... they'll be like, "I'm going to go through" and I'll be "cool. See you." What? They should wait because I haven't gotten my life together. No. "See you on the other side."

Nick: Ok, I did not expect that answer from you, but uh...

Leah: I don't have problems with things like that. I want people to live their life.

Nick: OK, that's true. That is your sort of raison d'être. Yeah, it's true.

Leah: Yeah. If I'm making you responsible for me not getting my stuff together? That seems crazy.

Nick: OK. All right, great. So you feel free to go ahead, see your baggage claim and I guess... Yeah. No, nothing more to say about that.

Leah: I don't know why you're shocked that I think that.

Nick: Yeah, I don't know. I just thought you're gonna have a totally different answer on that.

Leah: Really?

Nick: I thought you'd be like, "You should stay with your friend. Don't abandon your friend. Friendship forever. Care Bear Stare." Yeah, I thought...

Leah: No, friendship should be like "you hate waiting in line. Go ahead."

Nick: Yeah, but I think everybody should just have global entry.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: So, there's that.

Leah: I mean...

Nick: We're gonna work on that.

Leah: Yeah. There's so many things that I need to work on.

Nick: Yeah, that's the top priority item for your life.

Leah: I'm really trying.

Nick: Our next question is: "Do you have to return missed calls when they don't leave a message?"

Leah: Some people I'll text to be like, "Did you call?"

Nick: What? No.

Leah: Just because I'm worried that they're like stuck in a trunk somewhere...

Nick: Then let them. They'll text again.

Leah: OK.

Nick: I think if somebody does not leave a message, it is as if...

Leah: These are only close friends...

Nick: I mean, then they'll text.

Leah: ...my close lady friends because sometimes what they thought they left a message and it didn't go through?

Nick: Who thinks that?

Leah: I don't know. I'm just leaving that as an option.

Nick: Are there people who are like, "Hey..."

Leah: If my parents do it, I text them, "Did you just call?"

Nick: OK. If it's an elderly person...

Leah: They're not elderly. They are just my parents.

Nick: If they're silver surfers.

Leah: They're not even silver surfers. Stop.

Nick: If they're just people who are not great with technology.

Leah: No, they are great with technology.

Nick: Well, then I don't know what the excuse is for them.

Leah: They hate voicemails.

Nick: Then they should text in general and should not even try.

Leah: They do. They don't call. That's why they call it. I'd be like, "OK."

Nick: "Something's wrong."

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: OK. So, I think if, you know...

Leah: I love how I have to have a caveat for everything. These are the situations where I'll text my parents and very close friends and I just wanna make sure there's not an emergency situation where they were trying to call me, but then, "oh, they got robbed" and then I just wanted to make sure.

Nick: The flip side is I do have people that will call, not leave a message, and expect that I will return the missed call.

Leah: Oh, yeah. No, no, no.

Nick: And it's sort of like, "that's not a world we live in."

Leah: Yeah. No, no, no.

Nick: Yeah. So I don't think you have to return. I guess if you're concerned about someone's safety and well-being and being locked in a trunk.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Then feel free.

Leah: Yeah.

Nick: Return that call.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Otherwise...

Leah: I just text back. "Did you need me?"

Nick: Okay, fine.

Leah: And they'll be like, "Butt dial."

Nick: Our next question: very good question. "What do you do when someone gives you a gift you hate? P.S. that someone is your mother and the gift is a dream catcher."

Leah: Nick loves this question so much.

Nick: I love this question so much. I giggled. I actually giggled. I L-O-L'd when this email came in. I think it's so funny. Yeah, well, I have a lot of thoughts on this.

Leah: Tell us.

Nick: I guess my my initial thought is that a dreamcatcher, I think, is kind of an inappropriate gift because this feels like cultural appropriation. Unless you are from this tradition, which I guess is, you know, Ojibwe or some related something, unless you're kind of of that world, the dreamcatcher feels like not part of your culture, in which case now it's a decorative craft item, which is like that's cultural appropriation.

Leah: But I do think it's from your mom who I don't think knows what cultural appropriation is.

Nick: No, but just because you don't know doesn't mean it's OK.

Leah: I think she's probably just thinking of you. And you could be like, "thanks, mom."

Nick: Yeah.

Leah: And then you could regift it.

Nick: You're going to regift it? OK

Leah: Or you could donate it...

Nick: ...to people who need their dreams catched.

Leah: So you could just drop it off at Housing Works.

Nick: Okay.

Leah: Or Salvation Army or wherever...

Nick: By the way, Housing Works is a New York City Salvation Army type place.

Leah: Dreamcatchers for some reason...they make me nervous and...

Nick: Just you're worried that the evil that they catch is going to affect you?

Leah: Yeah. And I've never been into a dreamcatchers.... And the people, you know there are these people who just have stuff hanging everywhere?

Nick: Uh huh.

Leah: And then it usually leads into like chimes. And you're like," I can't I can't take this."

Nick: Oh, so you feel like dreamcatchers is a gateway décor item to wind chimes.

Leah: Yes, and I cannot... You know, then they they tingle on the porch right before the evil gets stuck in your dreamcatcher? I can't handle it.

Nick: Wow.

Leah: I'm from the state where Stephen King is.

Nick: Fair.

Leah: And I don't want it. And so I'm... no dream catchers.

Nick: OK.

Leah: So, my boyfriend wife was like, "how about if I got a dream catcher tattoo?" And I was like, "oh, no."

Nick: Oh, that's permanent.

Leah: And I was like, "let's do a different thing." I just thought it was funny because we've discussed dreamcatchers and now he'll make fun of me. He'll be like, "Uh, oh...that person has a dreamcatcher...Are you never going to talk to them again?" And I'll be like, "What? I'm not like that..."

Nick: Secretly, "Yes." Never going to their house ever.

Leah: Right? You're just like, "I'm anxious."

Nick: Yeah, dreamcatchers are obviously...

Leah: You know, people have me hanging in their car.

Nick: Oh, it's like a little Christmas tree pine scent thing but it's a dream catcher?

Leah: But it's a dreamcatcher.

Nick: Yeah. I mean, it is a very popular charm. It's a very popular charm. Yes. So I can see why mom thought it was charming.

Leah: Yeah. Mom was just trying to be charming. And I think when mom's just trying to be charming would just say "thank you."

Nick: We just say "thank you" and then we put it away along with our oversized photograph.

Leah: No, we regift it. We regift it to somebody who likes dream catchers.

Nick: Okay. So, you have to locate this person.

Leah: I'm sure they're everywhere.

Nick: Just not you.

Leah: It's just not me.

Nick: A good friend of mine I mentioned his question and he said, "either your relationship with your mom can survive this or it wasn't gonna survive anyway. So either way, you don't have to have a dumb dreamcatcher in your house." So it's like, OK, that's probably good advice.

Leah: I mean, I understand what your friend's saying about being like, "hey, mom, this is not my thing."

Nick: Because also, does mom not know me? Does mom not get my life?

Leah: Maybe mom was just thinking of you and it was a quick thing, but she didn't really analyze the situation. But she just wanted to let you know that she was thinking of you.

Nick: So, she was being thoughtless, really.

Leah: No...

Nick: She was thinking of you, but then also being thoughtless.

Leah: It was just a quick thing and maybe it wasn't her best gift idea.

Nick: Maybe she's regifting.

Leah: And I think we can just say "thank you".

Nick: So we say "thank you" and then we throw it away.

Leah: Because we would like to be not thought of? I'd rather be thought of.

Nick: Oh, very Oscar Wilde. Yeah.

Leah: Me and the wild.

Nick: Oh, twist. So, you out there in the wilderness: If you have questions for us, and of course you do, please send them to us. You can send them to us through our website — wereyouraisedbywolves.com — or you can send us a text message or leave us a voicemail — (267) CALL-RBW — and we'll be happy to answer them.

Leah: Yes.

Nick: Anything else you want to say about that, Leah?

Leah: No. I'm just so excited that people are writing in all these great questions.

Nick: It is super fun, so thank you for sending in your questions and we'll see you next time. Bye.

Leah: Bye.

[Instrumental Theme Song]